He drinks too much and it annoys me.

I'm dating someone who loves to have a drink, or two, or three or more. I hate the sight of drunk people and it's really starting to annoy me. He doesn't get obnoxious or violent, but his skin breaks out and he can't afford to put on weight either. Is it my place to tell him to cut down or not?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Are you guys exclusive? If not then you can't really tell him to stop, especially if he's not acting out of line when drunk. However, you might want to consider if you even want to continue dating him. If you guys are casually dating and something like this is already bothering you, then you're going to eventually need to confront him on it when you guys do go exclusive and have something change.

    Otherwise you guys are going to break-up fast because you're going to be constantly annoyed and he will catch on. Drinking sounds like something that he enjoys so it might not be fair of you to take that away from him. But if he truly wants your relationship to work then he'll be willing to compromise. If you guys are casually dating, then maybe he's not the right guy for you since this seems to be somewhat of a deal breaker for you. However, you can't really tell him to stop because you don't have the right yet. He's not committed to you. If you guys are exclusive, then you have the full right to tell him how you feel and ask for a change. If he really likes you, then he'll try to make you happy but if not then it's okay. He's just not the right guy for you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

54
  • Eh people have a few drinks now and then. Sometimes they get drunk. It happens... The question is how often, and does it interfere with their life? Being a stiff and insisting he never drinks isn't going to go over well with him, but if he values your relationship he might slow down when he's out with you. How often does he have a drink? You just mention that he has 1, 2, 3, or more drinks but is this something that happens every day or just like once a week?

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  • You can suggest but do it from an angle of his best interest. At the end of the day he will do what he wants to and there is not much you can do about it. You need to decide to accept it or leave him.

    His drinking is not a good sign of things to come

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  • You can tell him but it will do no good. You can say you or the drinks and he will choose the drinks over you.

    Got it, leave is he best message.

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  • I think you have every right to tell him to cut down. If you don't want to date a guy who drinks all the time, either make your guy drink less or start dating another guy who doesn't drink as much.

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  • I think you have the right to tell him it bothers you and it is obviously excessive (like everyday and alone, not just at parties on the weekend) especially if you think it's affecting him in a bad way...I mean good friends don't let their mates f*** up their lives without trying to help right?

    it's not out of line to be concerned about someone you love.

    but ultimately you cannot expect to change a person, or expect a person to change for you...you can only decide with what you will put up with and when you would walk away.

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  • This sounds a lot like myself to be honest...

    I drink every single day, my skin is a little flush (can't blame it entirely on drinking), and I'm less than 145 pounds.

    You say he's not obnoxious or violent? Does his drinking effect your sex life? If the only area effected is his complexion and weight - I say you should back off.

    Firstly, you should be proud that you have a slender boyfriend and not some lump who stuffs his face with junk food. Secondly, alcohol is an extremely effective tranquilizer in dealing with every day stresses. If those stresses are not calmed - that could potentially lead to high anxiety for him.

    Sounds to be that your boyfriend and I share the same "problem" - we're FUNCTIONING alcoholics. So long as we can work, go to school, and lay the pipe, I think you should keep your mouth shut. Just my opinion.

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    • lol, if alcohol is your tranquilizer then you have a problem bro...

    • Show All
    • That shows you can keep it in check. And it works for you and you're living your life the way you want so I don't see a problem.

    • Smart girl :)

      Like the saying goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

  • I don't think it is. your not his mother, if he wants to drink he will. Sober life isn't for everybody. But hey if you wanna be bossy you could put an ultimatum on him. Guys love power plays?

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  • i think it is. tell him that it bothers you and that you're not going to be OK with him drinking so much if he is with you. I guess its up to him whatever he wants to do and if he doesn't pick you, you can definitely do better

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  • Yes it is. If he wants to be with you it is. Confront him about his drinking and give him let him choose. Either stay with you or drink. If he doesn't want get help or stop drinking, if I were you I'd choose wisely.

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