Why would a man date an overweight woman?

I used to be overweight and all my life I have been put down for it by my family, especially mother and father and told that I will never attract a decent boyfriend because of my looks. I was a size 14 about 190 then. Now I've lost weight but I get so confused when I see women who are still fat who have men who like them and treat them well. I could never get a guy who wanted to be seen in public with me, why are those girls fatter than I was and having guys be with them? I don't get it. Does that mean someone could have liked me even when I was fat? Is it because the guys can't get better looking women? Please explain.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Believe it or not, personality and attitude IS important to many guys, more important than looks. Are their shallow guys who would never be with a fat girl? Absolutely. But plenty of guys want to date someone who cares for them and is good to them and compatible with them, and who has a pleasant personality and positive attitude, and their body type is far less important.

    For the sake of honestly and completeness, I should also mention that *some* men may date or get with overweight women because those women have low self-esteem, or may be desperate for attention and validation, so it's easy for the guy to get sex, money, or to have her take care of him and the house and put up with his crap, because she'd rather do any of that then be alone. I'm not saying this is a large percentage of people, but it does exist, just as relationships where the man is used and abused, willingly, due to his low self esteem.

    Another thing to keep in mind is that just because you've lost weight doesn't magically solve all of your problems. Guys STILL want a girl who is pleasant, positive, and fun, and while your new body may get more initial attention, it's your personality that will either keep them around or drive them away.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yup, in the end it's all about confidence and being comfortable with yourself. And many men nowadays like women with more meat on their bones simply because they find it attractive. But if women aren't confidant and don't put themselves out there since they think their looks make them less worthy of a decent man, naturally they won't be given much attention.

    And please, don't change the way you look just for the sake of other people, do it for yourself so you can be happy with your looks.

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  • you did the right thing for your health

    fat people can get into relationships but their options can be more limited - a couple of my friends have gone out with obese girls - one purely out of curiosity, and another due to a drunk hookup. Neither relationship lasted, but guess what, those girls were "seen" with attractive thin guys for a time.

    Stay healthy, eat right and excercise

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  • I know a few guys, attractive and athletic even, that are into large women. Fat if you will. It's what they like, hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

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  • Having an online dating profile the number one reason I don't reply to girls is because they are overweight. I tried my hand at one girl who was overweight and it did not work out.

    Guys enter relationships for different reasons. Some may just want somebody to talk to, while some have a heavy emphasis on sexuality, looks, and so on.

    There's plenty of highly attractive girls who are going to stay single all their life. Main reason I would refrain from certain attractive girls are their egos and the fact that a lot of them have a sense of entitlement.

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  • i don't understand it either. I'm a size 18 and for some reason, I get hit on and stared at alot, even by guys I'd never expect to even glance over at me.

    i've even seen girls who are bigger than me and have a bunch of men after them. I think it has to do with how they carry themselves. I don't know if you have seen but a lot of bigger women aren't ugly. some dress nice and have very nice personalities. it doesn't really have to do with guys not being able to do any better. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. plus, guys like when girls are comfortable in their own skin.

    yeah, I think someone might have been interested. who knows.

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  • Someone could have liked you when you were fat, yes.

    The odds were against it, and you may not have been attracted to him at all, but it was definitely a possibility.

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