Girls and bad boys. Why, oh why?

Tell me, what is it that the majority of girls is attracted to a douchebag? A lot of girls I know date a guy who completely treats them like trash. And they dig it. They cry, of course, suffer, but they're putting up with it.

A nice guy, on the other hand, gets boring with time. I can't comprehend it and always laugh when chicks talk about finding the best guy. But when they actually do, they're still not satisfied.

From my experiences, it's better to be an idiot than a prince charming in order to keep a chick "interested".


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have answered many questions like this so I'll try to summarize what I've said and hopefully it'll make sense.

    "Bad boys" typically possess 90% of the qualities that women look for. They are typically attractive, charismatic, and confident. "Nice guys" typically possess 15% of the qualities women look for. They could be intelligent and nice, but they are quiet and "dull."

    Women would rather get 90% of perfect and have to deal with 10% of not than get 15% of perfect and have to deal with 85% of not.

    Compare this to cars. If you are looking for a car and you find one that is everything you're looking for -- model, color, year, engine, shiny paint...but has the wrong color interior and you also find one that is not the right model, color, year, engine, and the paint is chipped and there are no wheels...but it has the interior color you're looking for, which will you pick?

    You'll pick the one with the wrong interior. Girls are the same way. It's shallow, but unlike cars, people are not "fixer uppers." You can't fix a person or change them to be different. So they'd rather deal with 10% of less desirable qualities than deal with 85% of it.

    Make sense?

    • What if a nice guy has qualities of the bad boy? What then? I have many friends like that and am one myself.

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    • I agree with everything but the attractive part. Attraction doesn't corelate to personality. The biggest *sses were just average, but still jerks and still had women fawning over them.

      And the most decent men I know are actually considered by the women to be very attractive. They are definitely not pushovers, but never mean to anyone.

    • I know. I have met some very attractive nice guys. Generally speaking, however, attractiveness and confidence occur most in the "bad boy" genera of men.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Girls aren't attracted to douchebags. They're attracted to confident guys. Douchebags, more often than not, are more confident than the majority of nice guys. Nice guys can be confident, too. It's just less common.

    • Should I have written "confident douchebags"? It doesn't make any difference with confidence. A douchebag is a douchebag. And when girls know that, it doesn't really make any difference to them.

  • I'd prefer a nice guy, bad boys are overrated. And I also don't know why some girls go for these guys when they know they deserve better. I personally would not put up with someone who didn't respect me.

    • That's exactly what I'm trying to figure out as well.

  • this is what women/girlsdon't want in the " Too nice guy", means:

    You are a wimp in that woman's eyes… milquetoast, sensitive and soft like a woman.

    you are confused about what to do and how to do it to protect yourself when you see a game being run.

    you have low self esteem and don't demand respect from the women you date in an effort to please, which comes across as groveling.

    you are always there for people that are never there for you. Too nice means your family knows you are an easy tap for rent money after they spent theirs gambling in Reno.

    your boss has no problem calling you in do work and assignments on the weekend, even though s/he knows you have plans with your family

    • this what Women love a nice guy with a little thug in him. women have a little bad girl inside that would, with the right motivation and encouragement, love to break free. A woman needs a man who can complement that side of her.

      And no, the opposite of a "too nice" guy does not have to be a straight thug. It's frustrating that nice guys tend to see the world in such black and white, polar opposite ways. In reality, there is a whole range of men in between the two extremes in the gray area.

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    • well you can't ever win with all women, then you will fail, too be honest you are thinking to much. of course you can get a women. but maybe you are trying to get the wrong type women. If there are serial killers that can get women, the is no reason you can't. you are becoming to generalizing when it comes to women. women are like guys, not all like the same thing in a person. stop trying, because if you try to hard, that then becomes desperate.

    • most guys always have the thought when talking to a girl, is to get into her pants. if you think like that when talking to girls, of course you will never get a girlfriend. also men try to treat women with the same Psychology, and they are not. women are more emotional about things and men are more psychological about things. and this why we always constantly fighting trying to understand each other.

  • Because bad boys are known for good sex. I don't know if its true or not seeing as how I've never dated a bad boy. And girls that go after bad boys really only want sex.

    • Really? I'm more of a nice than bad and I'm still awesome in bed. What you've heard is probably not true.

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    • Actually most of the women who are or have been with jerks tell me the sex isn't good at all most of the time. Jerks only care about their pleasure, not the woman's. Some admitted to pretending they thought it was good, to justify why they were with men who treated them like crap.

      Decent men, whether they are strong and confident, or total weak pushovers, do care if the woman enjoys it.

    • Agreed. Which makes bad boys and good sex a contradiction when put together.

  • Yep, Martin hit it. It's the confidence and dominance, the very traits female animals seek in their mates, that women like too. And jerks have at least the outward appearance of confidence though many have very low self esteem. Sadly though, the easiest way to convey confidence is to be mean to others. Which happens to also be the best way to cover up a low self worth too.

    Nice people, on the other hand, if they are nice too often, appear to be weak and dominated and lot of the times they are. They don't or won't stand up for themselves, so how can a woman, driven by primal instincts, believe they will stand up for them?

    What ultimately, at the end of the day, confidence often boils down to is learning to say no. Saying no when others want to take advantage and use you, even saying no sometimes to your woman. No need to be mean to others and especially to women. Just set and stick by your boundaries.

    • A clever girl would notice that a douche is faking dominance or confidence. I agree about primal instincts and somewhat agree with that theory, but there's always the limit of being prick.

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    • Yes of course women would notice, they notice when they are getting crap treatment, they even insist they will never go with such men again, but they still do. And men are guilty of the same thing, if they think a woman is very hot they will make all sorts of excuses to stay with her, even if she is the meanest b*tch.

      Our R-complex is a b*tch lol, compels us to do things our cortex tells us to run run run from lol.

    • Hah, emotions defy logic, I guess. That will always be beyond my understanding.

  • Dudes and sluts. Why, oh why?

  • This is exactly why I've just given up. I would rather be single forever then be someone I'm not to keep a woman interested or to fall in love and set up a life, just to be left for someone rich and a nice jawline. No thanks. I'm the nicest guy in the world and I have so much to offer, but whatever.

    • Don't give up, bro. :)

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    • i am with you mate. I have given up as well mate. relationships are just to much hardwork these days. when comes to relationships its all about I want. I want, I want, its about the other person. 95% of my friends have given up on trying to get girlfriends, and most don't want to get married. they much rather be single and get a escort for the weekend.

    • No matter how bad it is, always remember that there are 4 times more of women than men. We'll all get our woman. :)

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