Does this mean that a guy has low standards?

If I know that a majority of people think I'm unattractive. Through middle school and high school I was always called ugly by random people. I've graduated this year and now I am 18. I've had a few guys that were actually nice to me since I've graduated high school. Every time someone compliments me I feel like they have low standards since I'm considered ugly and I lose interest in them.

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  • Yeah, I've been there too. I was always insulted and teased by girls for being ugly, or while I was a small child, "funny looking". Even now, as a middle age adult, there are still immature people who mock my looks. Hell, even my own father called me ugly a few times. And to add insult to injury, my stepdaughter looked at my pictures as a teen and said I was ugly then, but she did quickly say "but you turned out good now" lol.

    It put all sorts of bad ideas in my head. I could never trust a girl if she was attracted me, I just assumed she wanted to con me out of something. Or she was very desperate which turned even me off.

    But over the years I did learn what physical traits considered attractive are not entirely universal. And, the premium people place on physical attraction differs. To many women, I am very ugly, but to some, I am good looking. So I learn to seek out those "somes".

    I don't know what you look like, so I have no idea if you are truly ugly or was just teased that way, and it's not my place to say anyway. My advice to you is be cautious, be take baby steps in trusting when someone compliments you unless and until they do something to show they aren't trustworthy. And regardless what you look like, stand tall and confident, walk like you don't give a sh*t what people think of you, especially petty useless people who feel they have to say mean things to you.

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45
  • Not at all.

    First of all, many people are teased in school not because they are what people say they are but because they actually have a reaction that makes it fun for others to tease them. I was teased too. It took me years to see what I look like and disrupted a lot of relaitonships. I have had the opportunity to date guys who in our TV driven culture would play the giu who everyone wants but because I saw myself as I was told when I was younger, I underestimated their attraction to me.

    Second of all, as your mature your looks change. There are many awkward stages along the journey. There was a period when I was 12 when I just did not look my best and then it passed. At 19 for a period of months, I was more beautiful than I might have ever been, etc. For a lot of people, there is a point in which they blossom and become even better looking. That happens between 18 and early twenties for a lot of people so you may have blossomed. My current crush was such a dork until about 20. Now he is so beautiful and I can see when he is 28 and then later in his 30s, he will be unbelieveable.

    Third, what one person deems as attractive another may not. I have a very specific taste that even if I notice a guy is attractive enough, I won't even think about it, while I can see another guy, maybe even read him as less attractive as the other and yet, fall pretty hard. I'm just more attracted to certain looks than others.

    What I would tell you is that it is better to think the best of people. Everyone has insecurities and generally think of themselves as less than they are. So knowing that, when someone tells you, you are beautiful, beleive they mean it and it does not reflect badly on them.

    Plus, most guys don't waste their time on complimenting girls they are not interested in.

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  • This just saddens me so much. Please don't spend your life looking to be validated by other people. You are beautiful. Believe it. It doesn't matter if other people think so, it only matters if you think so. I have known women who may not be able to get a job as a model but they are proud of who they are and confident and strong and for that reason people see their value and that by itself is attractive. Love yourself first!

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  • Stop believing/thinking you're ugly. The way I look at it, is I'm not going to be attractive to everyone, but surely someone will/does find me attractive. Believe it or not, how you carry yourself is more important than what you look like.

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  • No, you need to remove the ugly stigma of high school away and broaden your views. If a guy likes you it does not mean he has low standards. He very well might have low standards but you are not the proof of that really.

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  • No, it means they have grown up and matured. Everyone has their own preference and I feel that anyone who freely and shamelessly called you ugly is immature and untruthful.

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  • what exactly is ugly, because you don't look like everyone doesn't mean you are ugly. People take their sight for granted and those who think they are better than you honestly, more than likely have a lower self esteem than you. They use their Rude Opinions to compensate for something they themselves are lacking. I think you should do the best you can to overcome this feeling of be unattractive. Worry about you and don't worry so much, life is to short trust me. I am sure some great fella will come along sometime in your life time.

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  • it just that HATERS GONNA HATE their haters anyway it doesn't matter what is the outside it what is in the inside and anyway I bet you look better than all the people that made fun of you

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  • Ok have been in this situation for most of my life. I did get bullied at school for being the ugly, skinny one in the school. Yes I'm skinny and maybe I'm not their type. What I found out after seven years of leaving Secondary school/ High school that unless I change what I think of myself then no one will be ever be low enough. I spendt a year at college and to be honest it was the best year of my life I found out guys who liked me, I also fancied them but didn't want to do anything about it as I thought after six years of high school being called ugly and skinny. That I wasn't happy with myself and so didn't want someone to get near me to find out what they thought of me as a person.

    What I learned in recent times I'm not that attractive but hey who exactly is always attractive except celebreties. What I'm trying to say is that no matter how others see you. Its what you think of yourself that matters. A person who dresses well and a good personality and proud of what they look like will always get that one guy they want. Its all about confidence and that no matter what people thought of you, you should never think at all like them. They were probably jeasous of you and the fellas probably were to scared to ask you out due to being immature.

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  • You can't think like that. If you do then you're never going to get a guy. Nobody should ever call you ugly and if they do then you really shouldn't take advice from them anyways. I actually did a test one time with one of my buddies where I asked which girls he thought was cute to see how not every guys taste is the same and I was right, not every guy is attracted to the same kind of girl I am. You need to give one of these guys a chance. say three weeks goes by and he's still showing interest in you then he probably does like you and wants to get to know you. Cause a guy who just wants sex would probably give up at that point.

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    • A good friend of mine, who I admit is very good looking and has very high character, likes to use me as a character test. He'll introduce me to a date, and if she is good mannered to me and nice to me, she's worth future dates to him, otherwise, he tells her to hit the curb.

    • You mean he tells you whether or not the girl he introduces you to is worth another date for you or does he test that girl to see if she would be a candidate for him?

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