DISCLAIMER: Neither of them are innocent and I am not condoning either of their behavior. I am going to call them dan and mary.
Okay, so we were standing outside of a bar last night and a few of us were smoking cigarettes and black and milds (all drunk by the way). One of our friends offered Mary a hit of a black and mild, and she had a little one.
Dan had quit smoking about 3 months ago, and he called her stupid in front of the group for smoking the black and mild because he coudn't kiss her, it would make him crave a cigarette. She apologized, and a huge fight ensued.
He often acts like an idiot when he drinks, he gets mad too quickly and freaks out. If Mary is drinking, and a fight happens, she starts crying. She isn't a fighter.
So Mary is crying, and getting really upset at him for calling her stupid and yelling at her in front of the group. They go off to the parking lot (where I could still hear them) and they just keep yelling at each other.
I see him spit on her. She then slapped him in the face. He starts screaming even louder and she started pushing him away. I was watching really intently at this point to make sure nothing happened.
I then saw him put his arm up against her neck and shove her into a parked car. Even though it was for a second, I heard her gasp for air as if it hurt her.
I ran over and pushed him away from her and drug her away from the parking lot. I said I was gonna call the cops if he came near her. All she did was cry. Luckily he stayed away.
Today, she is mad at me because she said that was the only time there was ever physical violence, and she was the one who slapped him first and pushed him. I've never seen them fight like that before. They were both really drunk.
I guess he spent the rest of the night crying and woke up today and called and texted her a million times about how sorry he is. I keep telling her to ignore him, but she thinks its her fault.
Am I being ridiculous? I don't understand, I mean a guy should never act like that towards his girlfriend, right?
Most Helpful Girl
This really does sound like he was being a complete d***.
Think back, have you ever seen any marks/bruises on her previously? Perhaps this is the first and only time its happened, but like you I find that hard to believe.
If a guy acted that way towards me, I'd just walk away; I wouldn't have slapped him unless absolutely necessary e.g. being attacked or restrained. Maybe suggest that if it happens again that she doesn't retaliate unless it is definitely self-defence and keep a close eye on the situation as a whole to make sure that she is safe.