Long term relationships, does the spark always fade?

When in a long term relationship with someone does the passion and spark always fade? You still love them a lot and want nothing but the best for them, but the desire is not there for sex and intimacy. Is that when you realize that you're really just friends with that person and should move on?

By long term I mean 5-10 years.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, people become familiar and used to each other. You have to make an effort to keep it energized. That was one of my mistakes in my past relations. I've been avoiding repeating it in my current one.

    It helps, and I by no means suggest you are doing it, if both partners don't let themselves go after they get in the relationship. By maintain your appearances as close to as when you first met, goes a long way to keep the passion.


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • is the desire totally non existent? ever? if there is never any intimacy then its not a real relationship

    • Yep. A relationship without sex is just two friends.

    • @ TheUglyOne: I disagree totally. What about those people that wait for marriage before having sex? Is their relationship not valid?

    • DodgersGM the uglyone is referring to this situation where they have been intimate for years then stopped.

  • I guess that is what sort of worries me to an extent about LTR..the thought of something great, fading into an end...

    • I wonder how many, if any at all LTR/marriages still contain some of that passion and lust that you have at the beginning of a relationship. These days it always seems that one person is into it more than the other, people aren't willing to work on things as much before calling it quits. But, how much work should really be involved if two people are into each other the way they should be. It's sad but A LOT of people settle, and a lot of are waiting for something perfect that never happens

    • I refuse to settle as should anyone I guess I'm part of the latter group that you mentioned.

  • I don't think that is necessarily has to fade. It definitely evolves and changes over time, though.

  • It shouldn't disapppear, just be more confortable


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