Would you get married yet?

Guys,

Would you propose if you were not on solid footing in your career but your girlfriend was?

Girls,

Would you accept the proposal if you knew he wasn't on solid footing, and that he was committed to you ... with or without getting married? Would you wait until he was more established in his career before getting married?

Girls and Guys,

Would you feel hesitation at all if the reason for staying together, moving in, getting married were financial ... that you needed the second income to stay afloat and pursue your career, insurance, etc. ... and love was there but felt like it wasn't the only reason for pursuing the relationship further ... time invested was a reason too.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Yes I would propose since I'm confident of myself to take charge of and run a family. However, while her money is most welcome, I firmly believe that it's the man who must run the house (nothing macho or MCP about this but as a woman how would you feel if the man didn't contribute to the finances the way he should). Hence, being prudent the guy - me should be earning well enough to run a family and take up the responsibility.

    2. Pursuing a relationship, love and compatibility are the only matters. However, to stay that way one requires income and substantial enough to run the family comfortably. Ups and Downs keep happening. What if you are doing well when you get married but (god forbid) run aground in a few years or have a temporary recession? Love will sail you through that period but can't do so till eternity. Hence, it's again only prudent to be financially stable while getting married in 1st place. Love cannot be felt unless expressed and most time expressions requires time :-)

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What Girls & Guys Said

66
  • The culture where I come from, the guy being settled in life is a prerequisite in getting married, unless of course if you elope without the blessing of year parents. And I 100% agree with being settles before you start a family. BTW: I don't believe in calling a boyfriend/girlfriend fling a relationship. That is just modern society bull crap. I'm old school and proud to be one.

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  • I probably would not propose to my girlfriend if I didn't have a solid career behind me. It's something I'd need to do for myself.

    I think I would feel hesitation for those reasons. The relationship wouldn't feel complete, I would feel like I needed to be in the relationship rather than wanting to be in it.

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  • As long as he as realistic plans I would get married if he asks. But I also wouldn't mind if he asks later.

    I would hesitate if it was for financial reasons, but I actually moved in with my boyfriend and fiances were a part of that. For us it's I'm still in college getting supported by my parents and he is working getting a good salary so he is paying for most of the stuff. So far it works out fine butI would have been less hesistant if we were in the same situation

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  • My mom always told me if you wait until its the right time you'll never do anything. However based on your second question it sounds like you suspect he's using you for your money. Marrying for financial security is usually a bad plan and if you're thinking about getting married because he's put his time in I'd think twice

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  • If I loved her enough, nothing would stop me from wanting to marry her, money would not be a factor, nor would career,x

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  • It depends on how much solid footing I do have. If I'm unemployed I couldn't even afford a wedding ring, much less a honey moon or place to live.

    Actually, I didn't even bother to try and get a GIRLFRIEND because of my bad footing in the past (things are looking up though since I just moved to a big city and have a pretty solid pay check!). After all, I did not have any money for transportation or dating. To be honest I still don't have much money because of student loans, a higher cost of living in this city (go figure, my paycheck becomes larger and my new rent ends up TRIPLING!), and a need to rely on credit to relocate across the country, but I do have enough to go clubbing on Saturdays (though I don't think this is the best place to start any relationships).

    Anyway, I would feel worthless as a man if my woman was paying for everything and I would also feel I don't deserve to have a life with anyone else if I can't even support my own life.

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  • I would not accept a proposal from a man naive and irresponsible enough to think that love alone is enough to raise a family.

    (Marriage and children are... synonymous to me.)

    And my mother has always taught me to never marry a man who makes less money than I do. I am a proud, independent woman, and as much as I would love to be sensitive, I know such an imbalance in financial power in a relationship is just a recipe for disaster.

    And for your second question... why do you think so many people get married? I would, if need be. If by the time I am ready to move onto the next stage of my life but I still am not with my "true love", then I can only love who I'm with.

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  • That's a tough call. I'm the kind of guy who would ask her dad for his permission to propose to her before I asked her. I would hope to have at least a sense of where I wanted my career to go first, so that way he would have some reassurance that I'm not some lazy bum and that come Hell or high water, I am going to take care of his daughter (even if she had a career of her own).

    And the way I'm reading the second applicable question is "would you marry for money?" Short answer, no. What happens if the financial difficulties get to be too much? Personally, I see no purpose in getting married if money is the main reason.

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  • I would wait, but just so we could afford a really nice wedding and honeymoon.

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  • I would only accept the proposal if I see myself being with him for the rest of my life. With that said, I need to know that he'll be able to support a family. I don't want to have to struggle financially. So he needs to be able to pull his own weight. Most of the time, financial issues do break up marriages due to the stress that comes with that. I'd be more secure knowing he's financially stable.

    I definitely would hesitate accepting the proposal if he was only doing it for financial reasons or because we've invested a lot of time in each other. I want him to propose because he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

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  • I would accept the proposal if I felt a connection with him and felt that he feels the same way for me. And I would get married to him knowing the difficulties at hand because on the long run, you always have to go through some type of difficulty either way.

    However, if I happen to find love with a guy, I would choose that over everything else, because in the end if you have the right base, where you both have love for one another, all of that gives you the drive to put everything else into perspective, and makes you want to work harder for both of your future and for any potential kids you may have in the future.

    And finally, how often to people really find love with one another anyway? If I found it, I would want to hold on to it

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  • Never propose until you can afford a decent ring, have somewhere to live, and can support your wife (and future child). She may have a career now, but the moment she gets pregnant, you can forget about her job as a source of income.

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