Is he not interested or what? should I ask him out again?

There is a boy I like and I don't know what to do with him.

-he never initiates anything, but when I write we talk for a couple of hours

-on Facebook he is in a group he believes that woman should do the chasing, not man

-but when I suggested he is nice to every girl and pays compliments to every girl he denied and told me why would he do that and he wouldn't be sitting next to me if that was the case

-he really wanted me to believe that he doesn't try to pick up every girl

-in all, I got a warm vibe from him

-compliments about looks come really easy to him but saying something more specific and taking initiative is hard

-lately we met (I texted him and he started topic of meeting but I was the one to ask him) and he started doing some physical gestures that he didn't do before (like holding my hand, caressing it, caressing my back, hugging because I was cold) – I didn't really respond beacuse I tend to be more verbal about my feelings that physical at the beginning

-after meeting I wrote to him and ended short conversation with „it was nice meeting with you, if you want to do that again just say” (hoping it would make him more initiative), didn't respond to that

-week later at the party I acted very jealous of him and I'm embarrassed of that

during the party (he came later with his friend and we didn't talk at all because I was with other people, I was a bit drunk and got angry :() I asked him to come outside with me and when we left, I told him that if he's planning to to something toward that girl then I want to know. He started to explaining that he only came together with her, and when they came I also was busy with someone else. so it's natural they talked and next time it can be different, because I was angry I said that I don't know there will be a next time (I know, pathetic). Then he said he doesn't know what to do anymore, he' not planning anything. Then I said that he stressed so much the fact that he is not „like that” and now he does that, he answered that I'm a woman so I would think that no matter what he did... They left shortly after that. I am still so embarrassed about that... I'm a bit insecure plus the fact he doesn't write and alcohol made me do it... so I texted him the next day to apologize and he replied that its no big deal. It was a week ago. No messages from then.

-he does nothing even after we met for the first time, what does that mean? I have some suspicions that he isn't experienced, possible that he never had a girlfriend. Also I heard that no one besides me is interested in him enough to be jealous and during the previous times we met when he noticed I was jealous he was kinda happy..

he is rather confident but when it comes to girls would it be possible that his lack of experience is stopping him from doing something even after we met?

what do I do after my jealousy attack? Did I ruin everything? I'm just wondering that maybe now he thinks I'm angry at him.. and I don't want to leave it like that...

Well, I decided to text him first about how he was doing and it was really short and he didn't really try to keep this conversation up. I gave up after a while and asked him if he would find some time for me when I' ll be back in town, and he replied that we'll see when I get back and that he has a lot of work to do then, so it can be hard. Then I said, OK, I'll get in touch with you in January then, have a nice evening, and he only replied "hey". Well, doesn't sound too interested to me...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Lets say he is inexperienced with being a relationship. How would that effect your feelings towards him?

    If he has set the precedent that he will not initiate and the girl(you) has to. What more do you need. Get to initiating.

    I understand why something like this would throw you for a loop. But you are just getting a small taste of what it is like to date as a man lol. especially if it is someone you like. An have been interested in for a while. You don't want to blow the chance. You said "I don't know if there will be a next time" I'm sure he knows you were drunk. No to mention the whole you pulled him outside to tell him how jealous you were about him and "that OTHER girl" thing.

    So I'm guessing what I'm trying to say is text him and set up a "next time" and see if he accepts it.

    • Well, it wouldn't change my feelings much. I like him and that's it but I'm afraid that he will feel intimidated if I constantly initiate and push him. But I think I should try.

    • But he is telling you directly to do just that. I don't know many guys who would tell you to do something. And then not want it to be done. In most cases.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • You probably scared him a little! But when he thinks about it, he'll see that you were jealous because you like him.

    Go ahead and ask him to have coffee or tea with you the next time you see him. he sounds like a good guy, so try not to think negative thoughts about him!

    • No, either he's not interested or just still frightened of you! But do look him up in January, as he asked...

    • I will, I don't think I have much to lose... But isn't it true that a guy is likely to lose his interest when he knows the girl likes him? I mean, everybody says that... And it's not possible, I think, that he's oblivious to the fact I like him... Also I suppose he could just think "omg she's crazy, she acts like that and we're not even dating" and he's totally freaked out now...

    • I tend to think he probably is 'freaked out' a little, but he will get over that!

      Best Answer, no?

  • enough with signals, interpretations and all that crap...for the (insert what is dearest to you) sake just say "I like you, and have feelings for you"!

    unless you're one of those who believe that since boys got "balls" then they're the one who should say it first.

    Anyway, just say it instead of wondering for ever, if he said nothing back? then blow him away!

    • @QA (Update) Just say "Hey you bastard :D I like you, and if you didn't do anything about then you can go to hell" :D :D :D

  • i like that waleed guy, he has common sense lol, if the guy has given obvious signs of being interested but he ain't doing anything then its up to you to do something about it. Signs, hints signals is all a 6th sense that only girls are fluent in and in that sense its like trying to do sign language to a blind man.

    MEN ARE FLUENT IN ENGLISH / whatever language you speak in

    So tell him that you like him using WORDS "I like you" is always a good way to start.

    i like your bloke lol "he answered that I'm a woman so I would think that no matter what he did... "

    he understands lol he understands well

  • You should initiate things. Then after, he will. Same thing when someone learn to fly. He will learn from you.

  • I say go for it, if that's what you want.


What Girls Said 1

  • Guys should do the chasing... I didn't read the whole thing but he's not an alpha male if he doesn't..x

    • Its more common that guys do the chasing but I don't think they SHOULD do it. e.g. I wouldn't be shallow enough to ignore a guy I liked if he didn't chase me...