What does he mean when he says 'I don't care'?

Ok, we've been together 2 1/2 years and engaged for one. Instead of him saying "hey honey, are ya ready to go to bed, I sure am" or "let's go to bed" like he used to ...

Now often, it is him: "I'm going to bed" with a quick peck of a kiss

Me: "I'll be right in, Hun, ok"

Him: "I don't care"

Me: "Do you want me to?"

Him: "Do what you want"

This is frustrating to me because I want him to want me, and of course I want to go to bed when he does, but, him acting like this make me wonder if he really doesn't care anymore.

Thanks guys! :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Im gonna give my perspective on this because I've been in a similiar situation. Your asking to many questions. Any answer he gives is going to result in more questions being asked. Its also bedtime if he's going to bed he's probably tired and I am not being mean here but your asking to much. All he wants to do is go to bed, he doesn't want to have to reassure you or make you feel good. He just wants to go sleep. He's gonna be asleep so he probably doesn't care if you stay up or go to bed cause he's gonna be asleep.

    Yea your prob in a routine now and he might one day not even tell you he's going to bed but this shouldn't equate to him not wanting you. How your treated the rest of the day will tell you that. I had a girlfriend who would ask stuff like that and after awhile I said I don't care becasue It didn't matter, If I said yes id have to tell her why if I said no id have to tell her why. I just wanted to not answer questions and get whatever task was at hand done.

    If your not feeling wanted you should look at the real things and not this instance.

    • definitely true. most likely he's tired, but it's hard to understand the context. I don't feel like going to bed at the same time or not, when you're not having sex, matters or is very romantic. He still cares about you. He just doesn't care about what time you go to sleep, especially since he's tired.

      Guys are very literal, try not to take things that he says in the worst way possible as almost all of the time if there is a better meaning then that is what he was shooting for.

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What Guys Said 4

  • If he really didn't care he would have simply said "okay" and brushed it off instead dragging it out. He is in all likelihood aware of the effect he's having on you and is doing it on purpose. It's not the best way to go about things but in my opinion nether one of you is on the right side of the line.

    Sounds like you're both becoming a little complacent. You need to brake down the communication barriers. One of you needs to reach out and try to convey to the other what's happening between the two of you otherwise it's just going to fester.

  • Do you know if he is stressed out about anything?

  • He is either simply indifferent, or you've done something real real wrong in the relationship and his intimacy with you is fading as a result. Or perhaps there's an external influence, I don't know the surrounding details to offer you more. try telling him how his lack of concern about your sleeping arrangements is making you feel insecure, and let him tell you what's going on.

  • It means he does not care. I know it's hard to wrap one's mind around that concept.


What Girls Said 3

  • It means he does not care, guys are pretty straight forward to the point they are not hard to figure out, there is no secret message hidden in that. And by do what you want he means do what you want. No mystery

    • To me this sounds like a guy that is stressed out about something

    • @Prof Don Yea he does but I do not know what it is about

  • 2.5 years of relationship usually means the couple tend to be more complacent with each other and also the honeymoon period is over. it could be due to his tiredness at work so he didn't want to talk much. try to talk to him about it.

  • maybe he feels he does not have to put too much effort into you anymore I do not know how to explain it but I agree with kangaru