Does sex change everything in a relationship?

Do things start changing when you become sexually involved with your bf/gf? Recently I've had sex with my boyfriend and he has always been so sweet. Since then, he hasn't called, texted as much, or been really the same.

Is this normal? Should I be worried? All my friends say that he's probably been busy but I can tell a drastic difference. It's like he says all these things but doesn't really show it like he used to. I just want him back. He says he still has me but he seems irritated lately. What do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • "Do things start changing when you become sexually involved with your bf/gf?" Yes. Having sex tends to lead to changes in a relationship.

    Are the changes always negative? No. For example, what if he's not communicating verbally as much because he feels a deeper connection, and doesn't feel a need to communicate verbally? What if he's _more_ comfortable with you, but you're misinterpreting him? What if he's a little irritable because he wonders why you can't enjoy the same wordless feelings of sharing your lives?

    • Dang, agreed twice with the cave dweller in a single day

    • Show All
    • The question asker is missing one of my points. I don't think that sex is the _only_ way he's showing he cares. I mean that men are more right-brained. That's the emotion center, but it's not the verbal center. Men _are_ in touch with our emotions, perhaps moreso than women. But because we don't verbalize feelings as readily, women assume we don't have emotions.

    • He might not be talking to you because he simply can't find the words to say what he feels. And if he thinks you're prying or impatient, he'll resent it and withdraw.

      So allow him to express emotions in his own way. And realize that way might not be verbally.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think a man should ever stop learning about a woman, especially the one he's devoted his time to. Since he had sex with you, he probably feels that he can relax a little bit. He hasn't shown as much motivation as before because he feels that things are great as they are now. Especially now that your having sex. While this is normal, this doesn't mean he's off the hook. Having sex is not a get out of jail card for everything. He still has to shower you with affection, respect, and care.

    So take it for what it's worth. Maybe he's just relaxing a bit. Maybe the road leading to sex with you was a pretty rocky one. And now that he's finally there, he's taking a breather. If he continues to slack off and expects effort out of you, including willingness to sex, but doesn't bother to show the same; then you have major problems ahead.


What Girls Said 1

  • You can see for yourself that sex has a way of changing a relationship.

    There could be several things going on here...

    1) He lost a little bit of interest once he won the challenge of getting you to sleep with him. I'm not saying he doesn't like/love you anymore, but he may not feel quite as motivated to shower you with attention as he did before.

    2) You've become more emotionally attached after being intimate with him, and you've started paying more attention to his behavior toward you, and you're picking apart the relationship more than you were before. If you've been asking more questions about how he feels about you, he might just be getting irritated that he has to reassure you all the time now.

    Try to relax, don't overanalyze too much. If you think sex has changed your relationship for the worse, you have every right to tell him you think you're moving too fast and need to stop having sex for awhile.

    • I thought it made us better but now I'm always the one calling and texting him. He says he has been busy all the time. I know he has been but would it kill him to show me sometimes? I feel like I'm being taken for granted. When I tell him he says not to worry that he loves me just as much. But every one of my exes said the same thing and within two weeks the feelings changed. I just want to keep him around.