WHy does a man not want to commit to me, but yet doesn't want me to see anyone else?

Ive been casually seeing this man for awhile now...Its kinda a friends with benefits...We have a great time when were together...he has made it clear he don't want to commit...So why is it he gets really mad and p*ssed if I'm talking to another man or if I'm going to see another man...Does he like me more then he's willing to admit?

Little back ground on him...He got divorced 10 years ago...he keeps saying I'm the closest thing he has had to a relationship since then. He has been drunk and told me he loves me many of times and wants a relationship with me...but of course the next day he takes it back...says he was just drunk and he does care about me...but doesn't want to commit.

He knows I would commit to him..but being he wont...I told him we can just be friends with benefits while I date around...until I find a man I want to commit too...But if he hears of me seeing someone..HE GETS PISSED! The second he hears of anything, he rudely all the sudden has to go, then he avoids me for a week..then he's back...till he hears of someone else...

Do men ONLY get jealous if they care or like someone A LOT..or is he just wanting to be free to see other people...but have me all to himself?


Most Helpful Girl

  • The only guy I loved dumped me, and then got p*ssed off as soon as I started dating another guy(they knew eachother), and he even tried to talk him out of dating me (but obviously that didn't work.) He just got really persistent and would text him all the time trying to become really close friends and IM me saying how he still loved me, and after the other guy and I broke up he started talking to me more but he still has not expressed in any interest in dating. So my conclusion? Guys like this

    1. Want to be in control

    2. Don't want and/or are afraid of commitment.

    3. Enjoy playing mind games.

    4. Want you to themselves, but want to be free to date around.

    Hope this helps :)

    • Thanks for you input...I agree!!! Just wanted to see what other thought.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He's nuts, or at least confused.

    I say again: only boyfriends get boyfriend privileges. He can be as p*ssed as he wants, but he just has to deal. You don't get it both ways.

    • Exactly...He can't have it both ways..Thanks for your input!!!

What Girls Said 2

  • My mother was married to a man just like the one you describe, my father, and let me tell you BE CAREFUL! He wants to have his cake and eat it, too. If you care enough about yourself, do not tolerate this behavior from him, or simply leave him. Human beings should not even be allowed to act in this way and it really upsets me that women put up with it. You will spare yourself weeks, months, and possibly years being paranoid, confused, hurt, and disrespected. YOU DESERVE BETTER, GIRL!

  • Hi, I am a girl, but I've been through this time and time again with guys, so I'd have to say I at least have somewhat figured out the reason. They know that if you see someone else, the "benefits" may not be available when you want them. When a guy does that, I'm sorry but it's true, he doesn't want a strong bond with a woman, he wants to be a free bird and do what he wants without being "tied down". In other words, have his cake and eat it too! hope this helps and, sorry.

    • No need to say sorry...I like people that will tell it how it is...I want true opinions..so thank you!!! I was thinking the same thing as well...It just throws me off when he gets all lovey dovey and claims his love for me and says he wants a relationship (and I never ask him too..he just out of the blue does this every so often)...but then he takes it back...