I think I like (really like ) my best (girl) friend.

Okay, so there is this girl, we have been friends since the beginning of college. Anyway while I kind of thought she would be okay to date, I never really wanted to while she was singe, and was kind of grossed out by it, but lately I've felt more attracted to her, but she has a great boyfriend and I don't want to ruin their relationship. I need a way to get over her, but it's hard because I'm not really friends with a lot of girls (although I know quite a few), and it's hard for a guy like me to get a girl. Any suggestions

just an update, but more and more I've fell out of love with her, plus her boyfriend and girlfriend are having problems (not because of me,or so I think) so I've kind of started avoiding her


Most Helpful Girl

  • I suppose it all depends on your exact ages and dating/flirting/relationship experience, but I'm getting the big warning bell that says you became interested in her at least partially because she got a boyfriend. Her ability to get a boyfriend means she must have something attractive or appealing about her, either leading you to subconsciously seek it out and/or making you realize that if YOU had her, some other guy might envy YOU, because she now has at least one Boy Seal of Approval.

    Alternatively, you might be confusing jealousy with attraction. With a boyfriend, she is probably not showering you with quite as much affection as before (probably some, but not as much.) You are missing that attention... perhaps not her specifically, but the sense that someone was paying attention to you.

    Plus there's always a little "want what you can't have." My suggestion is to take a little space from her... don't stop hanging out with her all together, but hang out with her less. Hang out with her and her boyfriend, or her in a group.

    As far as "getting over her/finding a girl," start expanding your social circle. Ask yourself what qualities you'd want a girlfriend to have. What similar hobbies. Now, go do those hobbies and keep an eye out for a girl that seems cool that is also doing those hobbies. But DO NOT get in the middle of this relationship. If it's gonna fall apart, let it fall apart on its own accord.

    • Its kind of the opposite, she's shown me more affection than usual, and also with the whole expanding my circle, it's pretty large, but I ain't that attractive, so it will be hard to get a girl I really like. I mean even my friend has tried to set me up, and she just comes up with duds, like this one girl she know in her dorm, nice, but just not what I want

    • All right, think critically about this: is this the type of girlfriend you want? She gets a boyfriend, and then becomes MORE affectionate towards you? Does that seem fair to the boyfriend? If you were that boyfriend, would you appreciate it? Obviously I can't psycho-analyze this girl for multiple reasons, but the whole situations seems very very off....

    • Well she's a bit different, and we are really close, but for example, we went on a school trip together, she rested her head in my lap, with no Boyfriend around, she'll also rub my shoulders and crap while he's around, and it's like "girl stop it, ur boyfriend woudln't like that, and what's weird is her boyfriend has become a goodfriend too and either he doesn't care, or doesn't want to care, which is strange because they are awesome together, and she is very attracted to him and vice versa. I don't know what's up

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well, first of all - about getting a girl - I think that it's mostly how you project yourself. Sound to me like you have a little self-confidence thing going on. Work on that, because we can smell the shy and the lack of self confidence.

    Some girls are attracted to that, but if you improve your self-confidence, you will attract more.

    About this girl - It's funny, but it seems to me like you like her because she has a boyfriend, and not because of her. So think why you like her, and if you think you like her because of who she is and not because she's unavailable...well...I don't really see anything you can do if she likes her boyfriend.

    If you want to forget about her, try to stay away for a while.

    • But how can I stay away when she wants to hang out with me all the time

    • Explain to her that you're going through something right now, and that you need to take a little breather for yourself, you don't have to elaborate if you don't want to, just tell her you'd rather deal with it alone.

  • did you all of a sudden start finding her more appealing since around the time she started dating someone else?

    • Maybe, because I always said I'd never date her until recently, but also she always touches me and stuff, sometimes even with her boyfriend around, not that I think she wants me, but its like she's a little too close to me to have a boyfriend

    • First off, thank you for being honest. and yeah that might be the case, because now you finally see her as dating material.

      are there other things that you like about her besides the way she touches you or the jealousy that you may feel? (not that you necessarily like that)

    • Well we understand each other really well were both Christians, we kind of have the same friends, and I don't know we just have this understading, but I never felt this way, and even right now I'm trying to convince myself its wrong, because she is very in love with her bf, and he's crazy for her, but at the same time its like she's more affectionate, I mean I removed a picture of her me and a few friends on Facebook,and she asked why I got rid of it as my profile pic

  • hmm..are you the type of best friends to watch movies with just eachother? Like it all depends on somethings..how long have her and her boyfriend been dating? Um..who does she come to for advice?

    • I go to her for advice, and while we don't watch movies we always try and hangout playing games and such

  • Tell her that you love her.


What Guys Said 3

  • she probably sees you as a brother figure. I wouldn't make it obvious that you are attracted to her or it could really make it weird between you. Just let her relationship play out. You'll get over her eventually and find someone else who is single.

  • Do yourself a big favor, let go of her and move on.

    Tip: Every time you reinforce your belief "Its hard for a guy like me to get a girl" your setting yourself up for exactly that... If you said this 10,000 times in your head what do you think you will conclude? Your brain is a fantastic piece of equipment, only sometimes we can't distinguish what is good and bad for us. If you must say it then rephrase it in the past. "in the past it used to be really hard for a guy like me to..." that way it won't effect your present state. In fact woman or man can apply this technique to stop tripping over negative beliefs.

    There are a few skills that us guys need to learn to make us more self confident around women. You can do it the hard and time consuming way by trial and error or get some super help from link It will be the best investment in your personal development that you ever make. Your not gonna learn this at School. Check out some of the teaser videos on the site.

    Good luck.

  • How can you be grossed out about dating someone you like? And now you don't want to? Don't you see some inconsistency here?

    Not to be a prick, but it seems like you're don't really like this girl; she has a boyfriend and now you want to change that, if she is single you don't want her. This is not healthy behavior.

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