I hooked up with this girl who has a thing with my friend, TWICE. We're starting to develop feelings for eachother. How am I supposed to handle this?

One of my best friends since 2nd grade has been talking to this girl for a while now. On New Years we hooked up behind his back. We were texting and we agreed that it was bad and we shouldn't do it again, but last weekend we hooked up again. We both admitted we have a connection and I really am starting to get feelings for her... to the point where it makes me mad to see them together. I feel like a snake because I'm literally stealing her from one of my best friends. i actually can't control myself around her. I don't want to let her go and I don't know what to do.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, the heart wants what the heart wants, but in this case, it sounds like this girl is pulling both of your strings. I'm not going to lay blame on her, but before I say what I'll say - there are women that get off on doing things like this, so you really need to be careful with that one. And if she'll do it to your friend, she'll do it to you.

    Secondly, you really need to tell your friend. If your friend and that girl aren't actually 'dating' but have just been talking and showing interest in each other, then she's "technically" fair game. That said, what you did to your friend was just wrong and when she came on to you, you should have told your friend immediately. It's likely he would have said "aight playa', have at it" - he might have understood more than you know unless he's head-over-heels for her, in which case you would have known that to begin with and makes what you did that much worse!!

    So if your friend and her aren't actually in a relationship, you need to tell him that it happened. You need to tell him that it wasn't planned, and you really felt like shit about it and still do. He will probably be pissed at you, and you'll deserve it, but at the same time it will show him that you value his friendship.

    There are billions of women on this Earth and finding a woman that you have a 'connection' with is fairly easy, but you cannot replace a lifelong friendship - you just can't. So you have a decision to make: is she worth losing a lifelong friend over? Is she really? And the other question is "can you trust her?"

    You're gonna' have to man the fuck up and let him know what's up, and if you decide you need this girl, then you're going to have to tell her to stop playing with him.

    The heart wants what the heart wants, but you could've handled the situation a lot better, so now you have a responsibility to be honest with your friend and try to get ahead of this thing.

    Hope this helps.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Does your friend like her aswell? It's really up to the girl though. Whom she likes and whom she wants to be with, is not a decision your best friend can make. It's not like they're in a relationship together anyways

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    • He would be pissed if he found out. I don't know who she really wants to be with but I know she has feelings for me

    • Thought it was a guy's code thing, not touch ones girl once he was interested in her

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What Girls & Guys Said

58
  • Well, you already ruined the whole "guy code" thing not messing around with your best friends girl (I know they aren't dating, but you knew he was seeing her)

    So now you have a choice to make. You can risk your friendship because you fucked up messing around with the girl he was interested in, or just continue doing what you're doing, make something up how she came on to you and now you both have feelings.

    No win/win out of this for you, unfortunately.

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  • lol oh boy be careful hun My friend was in the same situation she isn't going to be fully with you she will play with your head while she is still involve with your friend she is gonna play a lot of tricky games till you just can't anymore please Tell her straight up that you only want her to be with you and if she starts to say but i like him or whatever leave before she plays her game

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  • don't say what happened, but tell him you like her too and would want to be w her... and ask how much he likes her and would he mind if you go after her...

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  • A real dick move, a real dick move. Anyway, just tell him you have grown feelings for her too and talk it out. but man, would I have known my best friend would have hooked up with the girl i liked behind my back, our friendship wouldve been over pretty quickly.

    And yes. You did wrong and you do deserve for him to be mad at you. The least you could have done was telling you were going to hook up with her before you actually did.

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  • OMG, didn't you read the bro code?
    Honestly I think you should tell him about what happened before things escalate, plus if he really is your friend put yourself in his shoes, you think someone who is cheating on him good for him?

    As for your fault in it, you will have to suck it up.

    Now you have to choose between him and her, or live a life of lies where at the end you probably loose both anyway.

    Should have never broke the bro code...

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  • You tell your friend instead of continuing to be a sleaze so he can find someone that respects him instead of a girl who is playing him to his face and a "friend" who is lying to him.

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  • She really has to make a decision, it's a crappy situation but it kind of sounds like she is leading you both on (even if she does have feelings of some extent for you both).

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  • I think it's up to the girl to decide (don't tell her you choose right away miss (her name)) who she wants more.. But either way, I think you get the short end of the stick, in other words you're screwed, of course you can decide which is more important, for ex. friendship, you stop thinking about her that way and as time passes by it will pass, or love, you get her, but you lose your friend for sure I think (cause I read that he will be pissed and try to kill you and shit..) Either way you get hurt it's up to you to decide if love or friendship is more important. If you think this with her is really something special then it's worth a try I think, you will get another friend meeh right? Lol.. Anyway.. If she chooses you and you say no then you stay friends forever with your lifelong buddy and some other girl will make you feel the same way or even better. Choose wisely bruh. And stop fooling around your bestfriends back lel.. that's as bad as it can get!

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  • Wow you want to be with a girl who knows she is fucking the friend of the guy she is talking to

    Sounds like you pick the good ones

    I bet she is having sex with other guys behind your back to.

    What? You think you are the only guy she is having sex with? She is single. She is playing you like a piano media0.giphy.com/media/JIJeOAjpIfnUI/giphy.gif

    Ask your friend if they hooked up. Do not be surprised if he says yes

    Do not be surprised if some other guy is sleeping with her

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  • LISTEN!!
    When you find someone you can't really see yourself without, you hold on to them with both hands. Real friends will understand!!!

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  • You got to tell your friend. This chic is toxic, she knows she is playing both of you.

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  • Break it off

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  • Wow. you're a shitty person. just tell your friend.

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