Am I a bad person for hoping?

I love my best friend, it's beyond a crush. It's been five years. However, he has a girlfriend. Am I a bad person for hoping they break up soon? It's just that it hurts to know he's interested in someone else.
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  • No
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45

Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey,

    Firstly you're still really young, so its completely normal to have these feelings. Im sorry you are going through the pain of watching him be interested in someone else. But it is never right to wish negativity on relationship especially you're best friends , because I'm certain you wouldn't want anyone to wish for you're downfall. If they do break up however, I encourage you to tell him how you feel, so that you can either get a) closure or b) develop the relationship that you've been dreaming of.

    I hope this helps!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't consider you a bad person for wanting them to break up. It is natural to want to be with the person you have feelings for. Just don't do anything to break them up because that would make you a bad person.

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What Girls & Guys Said

34
  • Trust me, that's infatuation, not love. I KNOW it feels like it is, and I know you are prepared to fight people on this, but it's true. Love is not a feeling. It is a decision you make when that feeling happens. I am just coming out on the other side of the relationship slump you are in (I'm 22) and I'm just learning these lessons for myself. I wish I would have listened to my friends and family all those times. In 10 years, you are going to be embarrassed about this, because you'll know how things worked out. I know it seems like a huge, dramatic deal right now, and it hurts, and I don't wish that on ANYBODY. I've experienced it quite a few times myself (I liked one guy for 7 years before he asked my best friend out, then another for 5 and he turned me down, then another for 2 years and I found out he was a cheater and now he's married to someone else.) So believe me, I've been there, and it gets better, as bad as it feels now. DON'T try to do anything about it. Future you will thank you for not making things a million times worse.

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  • its not bad to hope, and observe, it'd be bad if you tried to meddle in their relationship. you're only 15 so there's a pretty good chance that they will break up. when he seems ready to move on and if you're still interested then go for it.

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  • No, there is nothing wrong with hoping. It's only wrong if you are using lying and using deceit to more or less force them to break up in my opinion.

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  • DON'T WORRY THEY WILL BREAK UP EVENTUALLY

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  • ye very bad

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  • You are not a bad person, your feelings are only natural, but you do need to move on. Even if they broke up, it doesn't mean he'd be with you - he's had plenty of time to show his interest in you and yet he chose someone else. I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings, I just see no point in you wasting your time. There are plenty of guys out there and you'll find someone who'll be perfect for you. Good luck!

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  • well you can't be mad at him... he doesn't know and its selfish what if he really loves this girl and your hoping they break up? if you ask me thats not friendship

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    • Fair enough but I don't like her in general anyway

    • If she's a bad person then your not bad for hating her

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