My boyfriend was leading a girl on from a party, basically ignoring me to talk to her, lying instead of saying he's in a relationship?

Long story short, my boyfriend was secretly leading a girl, who's friends with three of his friends, on by accident for a few weeks and hadn't told me until this Friday. She'd been calling and texting 24/7 and he hasn't been ignoring or making excuses to not talk like he has been to me. He'd been saying love you instead of I love you and hanging up on me acting weird. They'd been talking since the 18th of November when he got a random text from her one morning (he doesn't know how she got his number) and that's around the time he started acting distant with me. She asked him how he felt about her and he told her that she's a beautiful woman that needs to give herself some time to heal. He was telling me that he was trying to let her down easy but she wasn't taking the hint and he couldn't just go MIA because she has mutual friends. I told him to tell her that he's in a relationship, not interested in her at all, and only talked to her to spare her feelings. Even after me telling him this, he was bs'ing saying that his ex came back into his life and things are complicated (which a mutual friend told him to tell her which made me feel disrespected by him too) over telling her that his dad wants him to focus on school. I told him to be direct and not leave things open for interpretation but he didn't. She ended up saying we should keep talking to see how things are playing out. He told her something about whatever happens happens which really made me mad because she was probably thinking he was talking about the possibility of them being in a relationship. I let it go for a few hours then I told him to tell her directly once and for all I don't care about her feelings at all. Finally, he told her that he's in a relationship with me and only talked to her to not hurt her feelings.
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She said why didn't you say that sooner, I don't want anything at the moment anyway, and if you didn't say something sooner it would've been worse. This made me mad because she basically threatened my boyfriend saying she would've spazzed out at him and saying she didn't want anything at the moment when she asked him how he felt about her. I'm just mad at everyone in this situation involved.
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My boyfriend and friend backstabbed me by conspiring secretly and not letting me know anything about it when I tell my boyfriend every single time a guy even tries something with me. I let him know that he has nothing to worry about because I shot then down. When I shoot guys down I don't care about their feelings so it's like why is he putting some other girls feelings over mine when he knows I miss him. It doesn't feel right talking to him now, the dynamic is completely different. I just feel
My boyfriend was leading a girl on from a party, basically ignoring me to talk to her, lying instead of saying he's in a relationship?
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