Recently I started liking my bestfriend, but the problem is that we are not compatible. I'm a sports guy, I like the outdoors and I also like playing boardgames and staying up late hanging out with friends. In the other hand, she doesn't like boardgames, she is not into sports but she will try them here and there, she doesn't like staying up late. She is very different from me but for some reason that I can't even answer myself, I like her a lot, and I could picture us dating. she's an amazing woman, I want the best for her and I care about her so much, and we always have a great time when we hang out, but... again, we are not compatible in many different ways.
What would you do if you werein my position? Would you date that person or seeing how different you both are would you rather not ruin the friendship? This brings me to the real question..
How important is compatibility in a relationship?
- Very importantVote A
- 50% importantVote B
- Not important at allVote C
Most Helpful Girl
I kind of agree with Jetplane in the sense that not having the same interests does not mean you're not compatible. I think compatibility is about having the same values and being able to respect/tolerate each other's differences, not liking all the same things. That's one of the things that kills me about dating, i. e. that people won't date someone just because they don't both love the same rock group, the same TV shows and binge-watching Netflix.
Having the same values means you think the same on most of the big things, like money and finances, having kids, how kids should be raised, cheating/monogamy, what you want out of life and a relationship... basically the stuff that causes people to get divorced vs stay together. Liking board games has nothing to do with the ability of a relationship to endure. I'm pretty sure a lot of these divorced people liked the same things as their ex.2
Most Helpful Guy
Nah man, interests play just one part in compatibility. My girlfriend and I have various difference but we also have our similarities. I'm sure you can find something you both share. It is honestly how well you both can be and exist together. Whether you understand her personality and she understands yours. And accepts it. Like, you can't be mad if she doesn't play sports but appreciates when she tries and vice versa with things she likes.
That is compatability, wanting the best and giving the best for each other. Interests just help you get there faster. Good luck mate!2