Why do people feel the need to "party" when they are younger to "find themselves"?

I mean like younger people... late teens/early 20s... they're out smoking, drinking a lot, casual sex, etc. being stupid basically. honestly, why? I don't see how it helps them "find themselves".

I don't do drugs or anything, I'm a virgin and I know who I am. I'm 19 years old, and I'm a put-together person. I'm not out doing things that negatively impact my health or do something risky for the sake of "fun" because I see no fun in smoking... Drinking socially would be totally cool and not to get trashed but in a more classy manner, and there's no fun in whoring yourself out there... what about REAL love?!

If people wanna "find themselves", stop acting dumb, show some respect for yourself and others, care about people other than yourself, and seek more "normal" fun things to do... there's lots of perfectly good, fun things to do. And just be you. Don't do things to fit a mold of "everyone's doing it!"

Not that hard... The drama-free life is good. I'm healthy, it's great! ...but I'd be a WHOLE lot happier if my peers weren't getting progressively more and more stupid, and making dumb choices and girls actually pursued decent guys as opposed to the typical frat-boy.

end rant lol. sorry I'm just in a bad mood right now


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey, my shallow and heartless ex girlfriend was one of those! Had everything great with me, but decided she needed to be a party-animal whore and throw everything away.

    • Hey man I'm sorry to hear that... :(

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    • Boring? No, not boring. You women can just never be happy with anything. It's insane. The fact that you are so bitchy about this, just boggles me. Can't let loose and have a good time? I was in a fraternity, partied my ass off.. Never cared what she did either. Never held her back from time with her friends, tried to always include her in things I was doing. I always tried keeping things fun. Shut your **** mouth and go make someone dinner you useless bitch

    • While I don't agree with the name-calling and gender-role stereotypes being thrown out, I DO agree that women just can't be happy with anything... they always gotta have SOMETHING to complain about in the relationship or the guy is "boring". if you knew what love was, you wouldn't complain about any drama or about your man at all. you'd love and appreciate everything about him. us guys are "good" (or "boring", and treat you RIGHT) because we CARE.

      why make life harder for someone we care about

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What Girls Said 3

  • A person's life is their own personal journey - who are you to dictate what road they should take?

    Why do other people's choices make you unhappy? How is it affecting your life? I think you're a lot less happier than you could be if you were to just worry about yourself, instead of what everyone else is doing.

    The only thing I can make out of this bizarre rant is that in comparing your life to those around you - your life sucks. Passing judgment is pretty much the only way you can feel good about yourself. You expect everyone else to change to make you feel better, instead of changing yourself.

    What you need to realize is not everyone wants to be like you, wants the things you want in life, or the goals you want to achieve. Spend your time working on yourself, instead of wasting it hating those who are different.

    I'd rather be a pill popping, alcoholic whore than a self righteous, pious, intolerant jerk like you.

    • Well I doesn't suck... it just we be a lot better if I wasn't so misunderstood by people. I just try to obey the laws and rules/expectations laid out for me. by our government, my parents/family... I'm religious so I try to live for God the best I can. why does that make me a jerk? I'm not really judgmental of someone for doing these things, but I think society as a whole could be making better choices for themselves. there's plenty of better ways to "have a good time". instead I'm mostly left out.

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    • I understand peer pressure, wanting to fit in, and all that... but its funny how I try to be my own individual, take the path less traveled, and try to do the right thing that's best for me and my overall well-being, (there ARE consequences, to smoking, drugs, drinking, etc... sometimes they take you by surprise... car accidents, unwanted pregnancies, getting arrested, death.) anything can happen... might as well be in full control of myself... trust me. I understand.

    • ...and that's the thing... I care about other people. I've had a lot of so-called friends not really return much care for me, just because I don't "fit in" right along with them... :/

      I'm just tired of dealing with stuck up, insecure people that don't care about others... let alone themselves. I wish people would just grow-up. :(

  • I'd be so much happier if there were less self righteous assholes like you out there. I go out every weekend at school and I'm perfectly healthy. If you're going to go out and be stupid it's better to do it when you're young and only have to account for yourself then when you're 40 and have a family. Did it ever occur to you that people are going out to have fun with their friends instead of finding themselves? You're happy not going out and drinking so why does it bother you that that's what some people like to do to blow off steam. Everyone I go out with works extremely hard and the way we all choose to spend what time we have with each other on the weekend when we're not working is by hanging out, playing beer pong or flip cup, going to the bar, or going to a party and letting out hair down and just forget about everything for a few hours.

    If you're happy watching a movie and playing dungeons and dragons that's fine but don't act like you're better than people who go out. Just because you choose to relax and have fun one way and other people choose to do that another way doesn't make you better than them. And what perfectly "fun" things are you doing? I noticed you pointed out everything that you disapproved of without saying what you actually do! What makes you think you're more put together and sure of yourself than the guy who's won 10 games of beer pong? How do you know that 20 years ago your doctor wasn't doing the same thing you're upset at people for doing now? My life's drama free, healthy, and great too and I guess where I was thursday night? Drunk at the bar having a damn good drama free time with my friends

    • I don't do these things 1) they unhealthy, 2) often times ILLEGAL, and 3) I want to be at my best and do nothing but make good decisions... I'm not a nerd. I go out and do fun things. I like seeing movies, or going to the mall, or enjoying a deep conversation with someone that has a bit of maturity and life-experience, etc

      Enjoying time with less superficial friends that enjoy spending time with ME, not me and their alcohol/weed. Frankly, "partying" is immature and and a sign of insecurity.

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    • You're 19 and you think you know how most of the world is? This whole question of yours shows that you can't even attempt to wrap your head around what your peers are thinking so how do you expect to have any idea of how the world works? It sounds like you're just upset because you're either A) upset that people don't live the same lifestyle you live and you look down on them because you think your way is the best or B) you didn't get invited to parties and now you're bitter

    • Yeah... I'm a little bitter. you can say that... I m upset because I don't feel appreciated for being a good person. I don't have drug problems, not a smoker (which most agree is a turn-off) and I follow the rules/laws, don't do anything illegal. and I don't feel appreciated for making good choices by my peers at all. instead I'm left out of social opportunities. I'd love to just go out and chill with friends at a party, I wouldn't do all that stuff, but yeah I'm a bit bitter I guess

  • I understand your frustration, I really do. It's hard to be yourself in a world where being different can be isolating. Being true to yourself and withstanding the pressure of "fitting in" isn't something you should hold against those who chose not to.

    You should be proud that you have the guts to remain faithful to what you believe in but you need to understand that what you have and want in life isn't what everyone else wants. It doesn't make them weak, it makes them different and in order to gain the respect of your peers - you should allow them to be different from you without judgment.

    I am my own person and have always been. As odd as this may sound, I too had the problem of giving too much of myself to friends and receiving little in return. That puzzled and hurt me. How my friends accepted my generosity, but when it was time for them to give - they didn't. Despite that, I never changed. I like myself - my loyalty, my compassion and generosity. I let go of the bitterness a long time ago when I realized the only one that it was hurting was myself.

    Don't hold other people's flaws against them. We can't help but be who we are. The kids you are upset with are dealing with life the way they know how. Yes, it could be dangerous, but isn't that their decision to make? You would feel less angst if you only worried about yourself.

    You don't have to be around people that make you unhappy - that's your choice to make. The only thing you can change is yourself - why not try to change your outlook on life or your attitude towards people you don't agree with? You are the only one with the power to make yourself happy.

    Live and let live.


What Guys Said 2

  • I party just to have fun. I have a girlfriend who I love and loves me back and she stops me from doing some things. I didn't do any of those things to find myself.

  • You sound like me.. My ex is doing the same thing..and she dumped me for no reason.