Privacy in relationships. Would you let your partner go through your phone?

I have never had an issue with someone that I'm dating or in a relationship with who wanted access to everything nor have I ever wanted access, so this concept is new to me. However, one of my couple friends allows each other to go through each other's phones as a "check up." Seems very distrustful to me. Would you do it?
  • Yes, it is their right in a relationship to have access to everything concerning you
    Vote A
  • Yes, only if I'm around to watch them go through it.
    Vote B
  • Yes, who cares
    Vote C
  • No, my phone is my privacy/boundary
    Vote D
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2320

Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends, if they are actively checking up on me all the time then no, I would not allow them to and if they insisted I would break up. However if they just want to borrow my phone or are bored and want to look through it then fine, I have nothing to hide. I have no problem with them knowing things about me, they are my (well at this point hypothetical) partner and that should be something that I and they should be comfortable with. IF however it becomes an issue of them not trusting me, they get one free look then if they continue to try and check up on me I would stop them, either they trust me or the relationship is done.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There should be nothing on your phone worth hiding in the first place. That being said, I don't expect my partner to be insecure/immature enough to feel the need to look through my phone. If sthey have any issues they should be able to just ask me a question, not resort to spy tactics. I had that experience and it was annoying as hell.

    Totally faithful, totally trustworthy and 100% transparent, yet due to his own uncalled-for insecurity he always bothered me and made me feel bad if I even spoke to a guy. It got so bad he would look through my phone/social media... find nothing, then try to add on extra meaning to messages that were completely normal. People that paranoid need time to learn what trust is. I tried hard to deal with this as well as many other insecurity related issues until I couldn't handle it... and decided to give him a forever break.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 19

  • It's a matter of principle. If the purpose is specifically to check and see if I'm hiding something, then no you can't use my phone. That's just disrespectful. If it's just because you need to use it for something, no problem.

    I use my phone for little more than phone calls and checking my bank balance, but if someone wants to go through my phone with the intent to see if I'm doing something behind their backs, that's just tacky.

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  • Hard to imagine. If I were dating someone and she suggested that she wanted to see what I have on my phone, it would be the last conversation we would ever have. I would say "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. I'm afraid this is not going to work."

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  • No. I have sensitive customer information in my phone which I am obligated by non-disclosure agreements to keep from others. If a partner was so insistent or insecure about our relationship that she felt she needed to look through mine, then she would need to find someone else. And the reverse is true. I would not except nor desire to look through hers, either.

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  • This is a habit of insecure and untrusting couples.

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  • I've always allowed my girlfriend (ex) to go through my phone, but I've never gone through hers. If I'm going to cheat I'm not going to do it on my phone anyways.

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  • I don't have anything I would be worried about, but I it just feels odd.

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  • Sure, after a certain point. After we have been together a good amount of time.

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  • If there isn't enough trust to leave each other's phones alone then there is probably something wrong in the relationship.

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  • See relationships are based on your mutual trusts and respect so if you trust your partner and you have got nothing to hide then why not? :)

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  • No. Asking to indicates a degree of distrust that is enough to kill the relationship.

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  • My phone is rarely locked and it's usuallysomewere in sight

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  • Yeah and iam, she always goes trough my phone messages and i dont really care.

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  • I have nothing to hide

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  • Sure, I'm not hiding anything.

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  • No..

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  • do the same to them !!!

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  • Wouldn't care

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  • Nope

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  • At least let me up have something to keep my individuality

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What Girls Said 22

  • we know each others pin codes for our phones

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  • If you are in a relationship you should have nothing to hide period. You need to be an open book. On the other hand, if you are constantly digging and searching for a fuck up that is a red flag of something on it's own. That signals another underlining problem in the relationship

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  • I wouldn’t want my partner to “snoop” through my phone, but he is free to borrow it and look at it at he pleases. I have nothing to hide and we’re both very trusting with our phones and laptops. I think it’s wring to snoop, but equally wrong to keep secrets.

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  • My parents don't go through each other's phone. They use it when they don't want to get up to get their own.

    I think "Going through" is a sign of distrust.
    Just let your partner use your phone like they would use your tv remote.

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  • Yes, who cares? I say if I ask to look at your phone then you have something to hide. I never had a problem with a guy looking at my messages. I know people say that 'Well, that just means you don't trust me.' Honestly, if your SO wants to look at your phone, then you are probably doing something to cause them to mistrust you so you should ask what it is instead of get defensive. Defensive people tend to be guilty.

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  • If I had a partner, sure, but they're gonna see all the hentai pictures of cartoons I have in my gallery

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    • Nice 😅
      Same here. I have porn on my smartphone and they better be in place when I get my smartphone back :>

  • We're in an open relationship, and often laugh together at some of the dumb ass pickup lines we get from the weirdos on these online dating sites.

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  • Sure but I'd be kinda pissed off if they asked me if they could look through my phone, I don't like feeling like the person I'm with doesn't trust me

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  • I don’t care if my boyfriend gets on my phone. I do have an issue if he feels the need to search through it. That just screams distrust.

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  • Sure if they wanted but I've never been in a situation where I was asked or asked. Trust is very important

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  • Sure, he pays for my phone and I have nothing to hide so why not?

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  • Yeah, I would. I'd let my friends go through my phone.

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  • yes, i don't talk anyone or message anyone.

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  • I don’t touch my husbands phone

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  • I've got nothing to hide. So why not

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  • fuck no

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  • As long as they asked.

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  • My boyfriend is allowed to go through my phone

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  • Yes, who cares. It took years to get to that point though.

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  • no i wouldn't let

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