So do men actually want to be used for their money?

So do men actually want to be used for their money?
So after I published my first mytake telling everyone (especially men), that some of us women don't want their money I got mixed feedback. The 2 biggest majorities were men, who got defensive/butthurt and kept calling us gold diggers despite my best efforts to tell them, that women like me don't want their money. I mean I expected some of them to be this way but I underestimated the amount of the angry blues. Meanwhile the other majority are women agreeing with me.

And this got me thinking: Do men actually want to be used for their money? Do they want women to be gold diggers and do they want to be sugar daddies and let money define their worth?

I was thinking, that I sure as hell don't want to be used for my money or just sex and I wouldn't do that to the man, that I am going to love in the future.

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Seems like many of them do
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, but you'd be forgiven for the confusion in thinking they did.

    Men do NOT want to be used for their money.
    However, I do think that many men find genuine happiness in PROVIDING for their significant other.

    The difference is, used for money, a guys is just a piggy bank (that gets fucked) that supports her lifestyle, and meets her wants.
    A guy who is providing is using the fruit of his labor to support her needs, to give her a secure life, and her wants, according to what is possible in his budget, because he wants to make her happy.

    Basically, the former is glorified prostitution. He gets sex, she gets money.
    The latter is... well, a family. Taking care of her as an obligation, making her happy because her smile gives him purpose.

    The problem is, there are guys who flash money around, because money=status, and status=desirable, but these same guys not only have no DESIRE to provide, they also, despite flaunting their money, actually have the audacity to get upset when they feel like they're being used for it.

    And, conversely, you have the tightwad jackass who feels "the bitch is just using me for my money!" when the rent is due, and he pays the whole thing, instead of just his half.

    • Finally one of those good answers. Thank you!

    • Show All
    • It did :)

    • I agree with your points,

      I think men who flash money are no different than women who wear sexy clothing all the time.
      Most women who always want to appear sexy from my experience tend to get upset with men slobbering all over them and most men who flash their money all the time get upset at people if they feel like people are using them for their money.

      People can be so ironic and strange. I think these personalities use this method of baiting in order to gain power in their relationships in the form of playing the victim.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think this is different but it's actually a fetish. Financial domination is a paraphilia in which the usually male submissive is financially dominated by a woman. This usually involves using their money and relinquishing control of their finances.

    • There is indeed a fetish version of it, but thats not the same as gold digging.
      Gold digging is essentially being with someone under false pretences, while with the fetish aspect he requests that she does this to him.

    • @sawno I know, but the asker said "do these guys like it" not "do girls gold dig"

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What Guys Said 69

  • I am of means but never flaunt it meaning there would never be an instance where this would be possible

    So, no

  • Most men don't want to be used just for their money just like most women don't want to be used just for sex. And, there is a small subset of men who don't mind being used just for their money, just as there is a small subset of women who don't mind being used for sex.

    I certainly don't want to be used for my money, nor do I want to be used for attention (I've had women use me, or attempt to use me, for both).

    I should make it clear that I don't mind paying for things the majority of the time, and even though I'm a working-class guy, I don't mind buying her things or paying her way - AS LONG AS I know she genuinely appreciates it, and as long as she makes an effort to pay her way at least most of the time.

    I probably pay for 3/5 or maybe even 3/4 of what is spent with my girl, but she's always ready to pay for herself and sometimes surprises me and pays for things on her own for both of us, and she always appreciates both the money and the time/attention I give to her. I don't feel at all used, anymore if it was precisely 50/50. She also doesn't mind occasionally folding a load of laundry or whatever at my place - she's not just "taking" all the time.

    I suspect that most guys feel the way I do - but there's always going to be a range of opinions.

  • Well, it depends on the man! A man with money will likely assume that he is going to draw women who are only interested in his wealth and the kind of lavish lifestyle they can gain from it! If a man knows this ahead of time, he will try to use it to his advantage if he can claim a woman who basically has the looks and body of a professional model! She can share in his wealth but she needs to work for it, almost like his own call girl, as sad as that is to say. If she is willing to work for his money, then that is the life the both of them will accept! However, I am sure the man will have other women on call while his woman cheats on the side. Furthermore, he would be careful about marriage, she would need to sign a prenuptial agreement if she wants access to his wealth! By this point, "love" has nothing to do with it!

    For a man of less wealth, he has to deal with situations where a woman divorces him and can legally find ways to strip him of everything he has worked his entire life for, thanks to the lawyer she may be sleeping with as well! This is where the hostility from some men comes into play! These men never expected their lives to be turned upside down and literally taken away from them by a greedy partner who only seeked to steal money from the man she once claimed to love...

  • I don't think any man wants that, but some have to accept the fact that it might be the only love they ever get.

    Men are pragmatic. Fake love is better than no love at all.

  • No

    It's an oxymoron. If they wanted it, then they aren't being used.

    In other words, no man wants to be used, but some like being a sugar daddy. Being a sugar daddy is not being used, since they like doing it.

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What Girls Said 8

  • When we are young we get manipulated. Raced with ideas.
    Without knowing we are kept away from our lovers.
    When we are young we believe everything. We are so young and unexperienced.
    Yet we are made to believe we are gods who know everything. They make us believe our thoughts are our own while we just picked them up.
    Many will not even ever know about this their whole etire life time.
    Many will not even be aware of this their whole entire lifetime.
    We hate what we should love. We make mistakes. We are told not to forgive and we should be able to forgive. We are taught we are right and should take revenge. So we work against our selves in reality and not against others what we do believe. We are easy being fooled and that is why this happens when we are young and not at all Gods. We do not grow but get stuck in thinking we allready are there and are high as gods what is not true.
    But we can not believe we are lied at and fooled. This would hurt our feelings once we would know about this because we like to believe we are loved and not fooled.
    We are made depended also.
    We are threatened also to become poor.
    That is why we live in fear.
    Nobody teach us differently or something else.
    We think nobody loves us.
    But that is not true also.
    Live is short. And we know we need to hurry.
    But if we believed in God this all would not be neccessary.
    We truly never believed in God even if we thought we did.
    We need not to live in fear, but this is us not be told. Do you not need a job?
    So do man want to be used for money? No. Man live in the worse fear of becomming lonely eventually then ever and seek desperately a way they do not feel how empty they are in money.
    The more they spend the deeper they fall in the black whole of emptyness without knowing. Is that love or is that hate that they believe is love and care?
    Man are fooled and woman are fooled. And both need to wake up.
    But the road to wake up land I do not know where it is.
    Because man are so deep in the black whole. And so deep in debt.
    Man should not trust emotional friends but rational friends.
    Man should wake up their friends are in the same deep black dark whole. Life is to expensive. In love that is not neccessary. But man do not know that because they are never taught and told.
    Society teach them how to live and that is direction of hell of lonelyness eternal. Not for punishement but because of not being rational. Do not teach others you do not want to be taught.

  • I don´t think they want to be used for their money. I think most of them would like to know they do have enough money to provide if needed, but not actually do so - precisely because the word ''used'' has no place here. And also because well, making money ain´t easy. Not everyone is ready (or able) to be the sole provider.

  • Well I don't think anyone wants to be "use." But money is a big part of what a man offers in a relationship. Just like sex is a big part of what a woman offers.

    • In a real relationship though it takes more then sex and money. I know you understand this but I thought it had to be said.

    • @Charleslvajr
      Yeah I do know this. It's something that goes without saying.
      Also some people out there don't care about real relationships that much.

    • See it's that lack of, I don't know, call it responsibility, social responsibility that causes these kinds of idiotic beliefs on both sides. Everyone thinks that it's just going to slide into place just because the penis fits the vagina. Nope, that doesn't work and the toxic members of the dating community that think a relationship can be built on such shoddy of a foundation are the cancer that's killing our social framework altogether.
      As a society we need to reclaim our understanding of actual relationships is what I'm beating at here.

  • Men have been brought up that their worth is their financial stability. If you take away that, what exactly do they have to impress us. As women, we know that's charm, humor, and chivalry, but guys won't believe us.

    My boyfriend is somewhat the same way. For a long time, I have been making way more than him. And because of that he felt less of a man. When I didn't think he was. He knows how to change a tire and knows how to cook. Man enough for me. But he didn't think that. Now that he has more income than me, he is way more confident and more insistent on paying for everything. It's weird.

    It could also be that us saying we don't want money, they think we are trying to take away one reason they see us as the bad guys.

    • Thank you for speaking up! I was thinking the same thing. If I find a man denying, that I don't want his money, then I get turned off quickly and walk away. I feel, that if money plays such an important role, that their whole worth depends on it or that we are after it despite it being untrue, then they are simply having their values in the wrong order.

  • Yes they do, I am gonna make a YouTube video shitting on men one day, they are confused.

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