So do men actually want to be used for their money?


So do men actually want to be used for their money?
So after I published my first mytake telling everyone (especially men), that some of us women don't want their money I got mixed feedback. The 2 biggest majorities were men, who got defensive/butthurt and kept calling us gold diggers despite my best efforts to tell them, that women like me don't want their money. I mean I expected some of them to be this way but I underestimated the amount of the angry blues. Meanwhile the other majority are women agreeing with me.

And this got me thinking: Do men actually want to be used for their money? Do they want women to be gold diggers and do they want to be sugar daddies and let money define their worth?

I was thinking, that I sure as hell don't want to be used for my money or just sex and I wouldn't do that to the man, that I am going to love in the future.

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Seems like many of them do
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, but you'd be forgiven for the confusion in thinking they did.

    Men do NOT want to be used for their money.
    However, I do think that many men find genuine happiness in PROVIDING for their significant other.

    The difference is, used for money, a guys is just a piggy bank (that gets fucked) that supports her lifestyle, and meets her wants.
    A guy who is providing is using the fruit of his labor to support her needs, to give her a secure life, and her wants, according to what is possible in his budget, because he wants to make her happy.

    Basically, the former is glorified prostitution. He gets sex, she gets money.
    The latter is... well, a family. Taking care of her as an obligation, making her happy because her smile gives him purpose.

    The problem is, there are guys who flash money around, because money=status, and status=desirable, but these same guys not only have no DESIRE to provide, they also, despite flaunting their money, actually have the audacity to get upset when they feel like they're being used for it.

    And, conversely, you have the tightwad jackass who feels "the bitch is just using me for my money!" when the rent is due, and he pays the whole thing, instead of just his half.

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    • Finally one of those good answers. Thank you!

    • Show All
    • I agree with your points,

      I think men who flash money are no different than women who wear sexy clothing all the time.
      Most women who always want to appear sexy from my experience tend to get upset with men slobbering all over them and most men who flash their money all the time get upset at people if they feel like people are using them for their money.

      People can be so ironic and strange. I think these personalities use this method of baiting in order to gain power in their relationships in the form of playing the victim.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think this is different but it's actually a fetish. Financial domination is a paraphilia in which the usually male submissive is financially dominated by a woman. This usually involves using their money and relinquishing control of their finances.

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    • There is indeed a fetish version of it, but thats not the same as gold digging.
      Gold digging is essentially being with someone under false pretences, while with the fetish aspect he requests that she does this to him.

    • @sawno I know, but the asker said "do these guys like it" not "do girls gold dig"

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 69

  • I am of means but never flaunt it meaning there would never be an instance where this would be possible

    So, no

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  • Most men don't want to be used just for their money just like most women don't want to be used just for sex. And, there is a small subset of men who don't mind being used just for their money, just as there is a small subset of women who don't mind being used for sex.

    I certainly don't want to be used for my money, nor do I want to be used for attention (I've had women use me, or attempt to use me, for both).

    I should make it clear that I don't mind paying for things the majority of the time, and even though I'm a working-class guy, I don't mind buying her things or paying her way - AS LONG AS I know she genuinely appreciates it, and as long as she makes an effort to pay her way at least most of the time.

    I probably pay for 3/5 or maybe even 3/4 of what is spent with my girl, but she's always ready to pay for herself and sometimes surprises me and pays for things on her own for both of us, and she always appreciates both the money and the time/attention I give to her. I don't feel at all used, anymore if it was precisely 50/50. She also doesn't mind occasionally folding a load of laundry or whatever at my place - she's not just "taking" all the time.

    I suspect that most guys feel the way I do - but there's always going to be a range of opinions.

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  • No. I think a lot of guys are just insecure and don't really understand women etc. So they just try and be successful or pretend to be and hope that's enough ^^

    Some might see that money attracts women and just go with what works.
    And some might be clueless that they're beeing used and just under her spell basically ^^
    I don't know there's different possibilities.

    I don't think guys actually want to be used for money but it works out that way sometimes.
    Personally I don't care about money (beyond what I need to survive and pursue my goals). I work on myself and try to improve my life and follow my path. So I'm the wrong candidate anyway ^^ Well I might make money some day bu I'm not pursuing it directly if I make money I wantg it to be only as a side benefit to working on something that I care about. Not the primary goal.

    I think in a way women are attracted to success though. Like I dn't think most women are actually attracted to money (although some are) But they're attracted to the mindset that brings success. Confidence, someone who has a goal and is pursuing it. Someone who has their shit together, etc. All these things are things that make you successful.

    So women are not attracted to money or other kinds of success directly but they are still biologically programmed to seek out the most "fit" men (I mean as in survival of the fittest).

    It's a complicated topic though there's a lot of evolutionary biology and stuff in there ^^

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  • I don't think there is any man who WANTS to be used for their money.

    However, there are men that will throw money at a hot woman with big tits. These are usually going to be rich men, because the money that the woman leeches from him makes no difference to his overall worth. A multimillionaire isn't likely to care if he has a super hot gold digging girlfriend as long as she sucks dick and and spreads her legs.

    This isn't the same for the average joe. When money is tight, financial stress will quickly douse any romantic flame in the relationship.

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  • Well, it depends on the man! A man with money will likely assume that he is going to draw women who are only interested in his wealth and the kind of lavish lifestyle they can gain from it! If a man knows this ahead of time, he will try to use it to his advantage if he can claim a woman who basically has the looks and body of a professional model! She can share in his wealth but she needs to work for it, almost like his own call girl, as sad as that is to say. If she is willing to work for his money, then that is the life the both of them will accept! However, I am sure the man will have other women on call while his woman cheats on the side. Furthermore, he would be careful about marriage, she would need to sign a prenuptial agreement if she wants access to his wealth! By this point, "love" has nothing to do with it!

    For a man of less wealth, he has to deal with situations where a woman divorces him and can legally find ways to strip him of everything he has worked his entire life for, thanks to the lawyer she may be sleeping with as well! This is where the hostility from some men comes into play! These men never expected their lives to be turned upside down and literally taken away from them by a greedy partner who only seeked to steal money from the man she once claimed to love...

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  • No

    It's an oxymoron. If they wanted it, then they aren't being used.

    In other words, no man wants to be used, but some like being a sugar daddy. Being a sugar daddy is not being used, since they like doing it.

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  • No, the problem is women keep lying about what they want. You say women don't want men for their money, but then turn around and expect him to have a high paying job, be ambitious (to get a high paying job), pay for dates etc. So clearly you want a mans money. Its not that men want to be wanted for their money, its that women want them for their money but pretend like they don't so they can act holier then thou about it. You want a man for his money as much as a man wants a woman for her looks, this is biology and its inescapable. Now to what degree, that's what determines whether or not you are a regular woman or a gold digger. Its the constant lying about it. You are not prestine, you are not perfect you are not morally superior, money matters to you whether you admit it or not and the sooner women acknowledge that this is factored into their attraction to some degree the sooner we can all move on and get on with our lives. You saying you don't like a man with resources/money is like a man saying he doesn't like an attractive woman or sex with said woman, he can say it but we all know he is lying. When he doubles down on that obvious lie it just starts to piss people off because again, its painfully obvious that its a lie and by doubling down he is saying that every one else is to stupid to see the very obvious truth. Just own it and move on.

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  • "Seems like many of them do" said 61% of females.. "NO" said 76% of men..

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  • Yes and no.
    Generally speaking, it's important to her what resources her man has because she knows sooner or later mother nature is going to demand she have and raise children.
    He may or may not help raising the children but generally speaking, it's the woman who does it, and wants to do it.
    This does not make her a gold digger, it's common sense and necessity.
    Aside from children, she may earn lots and not care that much about what he earns (two of my female kin are lead wages in their relationship) but there are still other reasons why she might.
    Generally speaking, a guy knows he'll have to work, and support a family of that is his choice (maybe on his own or combined ). Many men prefer this to child care but not all.
    So then there is an implicit or explicit understanding in many relationships.
    An out and out gold digger stereotype is different in that she expects all the resources and gives nothing except to look pretty.

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  • i do not no.

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  • There's a couple of things here...

    It's better to judge people on their actions rather than their words. Women will never admit that money attracts them, but what they actually do says otherwise. Therefore you can tell people all you want, nobody will believe you until you prove it.

    Men who are under-achievers will project. What they fail to realise is that men who are pro-active about life and aspire will naturally come into money... but its the person themselves, rather than the bank balance which matters.

    Most women are attracted to money and the type of person who can get a lot of it. But out and out gold diggers are very rare.

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  • Nope I don't like gold diggers.

    I'm guessing the guys just found it ludicrous that women would go out with guys for anything other than their wallet.

    Cause to be fair I did see on the news or some talk show this woman was treating online dating like a business.

    She would plan lots of dates with guys and makes sure she doesn't pay anything. That way she gets to eat and drink for free. Then she basically just moves on to the next person.

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  • no they don´t want to be used for their money. men have feelings too and they want a girl who loves them and not their money. It´s one thing if you take your girl out and pay for her and something completely differnt if she just want a man cause of his money. That hurts. I would just want such a woman if I realy don´t find a girl who loves me. Not me money. Who loves me, myself and I. If I don´t find such a girl, I would maybe say okey, fuck it, I take a gold digger before I start getting depressive.

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  • I wouldn't want to be used for my money.

    And I wouldn't use her for her money if she earned a bit more than me.

    Either we are in a relationship for each other and NOT for the others money.

    Or I'll gladly show her the door otherwise, and say bye, go get your self a fool instead.

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  • I don't think any man wants that, but some have to accept the fact that it might be the only love they ever get.

    Men are pragmatic. Fake love is better than no love at all.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkcKaNqfykg

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  • Many women want him to. Many women don't want to be with a man that can not buy her stuff. So no, most men don't want to be used for their money but i have seen many women use men like atms.

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  • Hell no, my assets are for me and me only. I worked hard for that shit and the only time I spend it on another person is when I think they are worth investing in.

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  • Its what makes the world go round! If it weren't for P**** 80% of us wouldn't leave the PS4. The other 20% genuinely want to be great/make discoveries/self fulfillment i. e. Nikola Tesla. Age 35+ those numbers flip. "If a man isn't married by age ___ he never will be." Yea thats why.

    Tesla: Money = time = freedom to pursue dreams.
    Chad: Money = power = influence = P****

    Simple.

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  • Men want to be used for their money as much as women want to be used for sex, and a surprising amount of both of those types of people exist.

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  • I don't want to be "used" for anything. I only want someone who is in love with me. If I pick up that she doesn't really have an interest in me but was just interested in my money I'd not see her again.

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  • i will try to slake your thirst with a proper answer, but i must say before that i really think that this question is futile for a lot of reasons.

    but... lets do it.

    most men won't admit that they dont care to be used. for a couple of reasons..
    first, if they cannot get women any other way, they will have to "pay" in some other places.
    second, if they got the money, and they enjoy the company of women, and women enjoy their money, why not? its a win-win situation.
    i personally know a couple that got married after having this "deal", and they love each other today... so it led them to happiness eventually (so far, they are married for 7 years approx).

    now... those who wouldn't want to be used for money will be a "type" of men (im one of them), a type that you may not know, but maybe it isn't here on this site.
    if you asked this question on a site of cheating people... you'd get different answers.

    about the men who got "butthurt"... its true.
    you cannot be overwhelmed by these people, since no one wants to admit that its the money that talks, and not their personalities..

    lets end this with a great israeli quote:
    "all women are whores in some way, but only the wise ones charge money for it"

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  • I think men and women should get together for reasons bigger than money. However a man needs to be able to provide enough to make his woman feel secure. As long as she feels secure, with what her man makes, thats fine.

    Some girls who are never satisfied, are gold diggers. But women who want a great amount of financial security aren't.

    Unfortunately, for a guy like me, who works as a janitor and also works as a maintenance man, my income is not significant enough to make a lot of women feel secure enough to commit to me.

    My hope is that a woman can look past my current situation and feel secure enough with my current income and potential.

    yes men want to provide for the woman they love or are interested in. They just dont want that woman to demand more than they can afford

    Every woman has different standards, the more beautiful women usually have higher standards when it comes to their mans income.

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  • Some rich guys can't get women any other way, so they use their money as power to attract women. There are plenty of girls who will entertain this kind of man in trade for having money spent on them. With that said, most guys don't want a good digger and most girls don't want to be viewed as being bought.

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  • I have come across women who DEFINITELY are only interested in a man for his money or prestige and if the guy doesn't have one or the other then the woman isn't interested. But I've only come across that in rare cases. I also have never known a guy to want to be used for his money.

    On equally rare occasions I do hear guys complaining that their girlfriend spends to much or "seems" only interested in money. But that's the extent of it.

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  • absolutley not. they jsut do it because they feel like its there only way of keeping a girl around is if they buy their love. the fact that so many women think that men seem to is just sad.

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  • No but it's easy to throw money around if you have to get her attention... doesn't take much work lol

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  • Of course not, only someone who is on to you and willingly pays you money to be his personal hooker would enjoy such a thing.
    The moment i find out she is after me for my money i take back all my gifts and kick her out of my life.

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  • Rich men bragging with money does want you to like their money, poor men wants you to like them as who they are.

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  • My opinion is some guys don't care if women use their money if it means sex in return. There are men out there who make a lot of money and waste it frivolously, which is sad because God blessed them with income and they could be doing better things with it. Me personally, I have a motto in life, DTA -- Don't Trust Anybody.

    While I have a sympathetic, caring, supportive side for others when they are down or hurt and I will be willing to help, I would be naive to think that everyone is a good person, therefore, I keep my guard up and I keep my distance if I am getting a bad vibe from that person (man or woman). I do believe that there are independent women out there who want to pay for themselves and they don't need a man's income to make their lives better.

    However, I do believe there are women out there who want to be with a man for his money. This is a test on earth by God, we are getting judged for the actions we do, but let's be honest there are people out there who don't care about others and only about themselves with the glitz, the glamour, the lifestyle, the 1st class trips to Paris or the Bahama's, the cars and etc. It really comes from within, are you a modest person or a person who is simply cutthroat like the banking industry with the approach "by any means necessary"?

    I've known girls and women in the past who felt that because a man scorned her in the past (i. e: her father, her uncle, her ex-bf or her ex-husband) she should get vindication by being over sexual and playing the next guy like a puppet for his money. But not all women or girls are like that and that's what guys have to understand, that's why it's important to understand how the girl is like if she comes across as bitchy or the type to only talk to you for favors? or simply cares about status then chances are, run away from a girl or woman like that.

    Take me for example, im in law school, I knew a pretty girl in med school, things didn't work out between us but I wished her well and I said I hope she finds the right guy. When I was kind of dating her, my guy friends said, "bro, don't worry about school, just marry her she'll be a doctor!". I said no, that is the most superficial thing and I am not that type of guy.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 8

  • When we are young we get manipulated. Raced with ideas.
    Without knowing we are kept away from our lovers.
    When we are young we believe everything. We are so young and unexperienced.
    Yet we are made to believe we are gods who know everything. They make us believe our thoughts are our own while we just picked them up.
    Many will not even ever know about this their whole etire life time.
    Many will not even be aware of this their whole entire lifetime.
    We hate what we should love. We make mistakes. We are told not to forgive and we should be able to forgive. We are taught we are right and should take revenge. So we work against our selves in reality and not against others what we do believe. We are easy being fooled and that is why this happens when we are young and not at all Gods. We do not grow but get stuck in thinking we allready are there and are high as gods what is not true.
    But we can not believe we are lied at and fooled. This would hurt our feelings once we would know about this because we like to believe we are loved and not fooled.
    We are made depended also.
    We are threatened also to become poor.
    That is why we live in fear.
    Nobody teach us differently or something else.
    We think nobody loves us.
    But that is not true also.
    Live is short. And we know we need to hurry.
    But if we believed in God this all would not be neccessary.
    We truly never believed in God even if we thought we did.
    We need not to live in fear, but this is us not be told. Do you not need a job?
    So do man want to be used for money? No. Man live in the worse fear of becomming lonely eventually then ever and seek desperately a way they do not feel how empty they are in money.
    The more they spend the deeper they fall in the black whole of emptyness without knowing. Is that love or is that hate that they believe is love and care?
    Man are fooled and woman are fooled. And both need to wake up.
    But the road to wake up land I do not know where it is.
    Because man are so deep in the black whole. And so deep in debt.
    Man should not trust emotional friends but rational friends.
    Man should wake up their friends are in the same deep black dark whole. Life is to expensive. In love that is not neccessary. But man do not know that because they are never taught and told.
    Society teach them how to live and that is direction of hell of lonelyness eternal. Not for punishement but because of not being rational. Do not teach others you do not want to be taught.

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  • Men have been brought up that their worth is their financial stability. If you take away that, what exactly do they have to impress us. As women, we know that's charm, humor, and chivalry, but guys won't believe us.

    My boyfriend is somewhat the same way. For a long time, I have been making way more than him. And because of that he felt less of a man. When I didn't think he was. He knows how to change a tire and knows how to cook. Man enough for me. But he didn't think that. Now that he has more income than me, he is way more confident and more insistent on paying for everything. It's weird.

    It could also be that us saying we don't want money, they think we are trying to take away one reason they see us as the bad guys.

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    • Thank you for speaking up! I was thinking the same thing. If I find a man denying, that I don't want his money, then I get turned off quickly and walk away. I feel, that if money plays such an important role, that their whole worth depends on it or that we are after it despite it being untrue, then they are simply having their values in the wrong order.

  • No one ever WANTS to be used. When the money runs out, what happens? You lose the girl. Is material objects really want you need to keep a girl?

    In truth, it's not the money, but the power behind the money. Money can buy things. Cars, jewelry, expensive trips, etc etc. A man with a lot of money has a lot of power. They can DO things for the girl. Some girls want a man that can do and give them things. So, those women flock to the guy with the most power (I. E the most money). When the money leaves, so does the girl.

    Men KNOW this. This is why they throw their money at those kinda of women. Those women will degrade themselves for said money. Do things for a taste of that power.

    In the end, NO men do not want to be used for their money.

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  • Well I don't think anyone wants to be "use." But money is a big part of what a man offers in a relationship. Just like sex is a big part of what a woman offers.

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    • In a real relationship though it takes more then sex and money. I know you understand this but I thought it had to be said.

    • @Charleslvajr
      Yeah I do know this. It's something that goes without saying.
      Also some people out there don't care about real relationships that much.

    • See it's that lack of, I don't know, call it responsibility, social responsibility that causes these kinds of idiotic beliefs on both sides. Everyone thinks that it's just going to slide into place just because the penis fits the vagina. Nope, that doesn't work and the toxic members of the dating community that think a relationship can be built on such shoddy of a foundation are the cancer that's killing our social framework altogether.
      As a society we need to reclaim our understanding of actual relationships is what I'm beating at here.

  • I don´t think they want to be used for their money. I think most of them would like to know they do have enough money to provide if needed, but not actually do so - precisely because the word ''used'' has no place here. And also because well, making money ain´t easy. Not everyone is ready (or able) to be the sole provider.

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  • Girl you'd be surprised 😂😂😭. there are so many men who are on sugar daddy sites Willing to make it rain for some booty

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  • If you are volunteering money, I will be taking it.

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  • Yes they do, I am gonna make a YouTube video shitting on men one day, they are confused.

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