So do men actually want to be used for their money?


So do men actually want to be used for their money?
So after I published my first mytake telling everyone (especially men), that some of us women don't want their money I got mixed feedback. The 2 biggest majorities were men, who got defensive/butthurt and kept calling us gold diggers despite my best efforts to tell them, that women like me don't want their money. I mean I expected some of them to be this way but I underestimated the amount of the angry blues. Meanwhile the other majority are women agreeing with me.

And this got me thinking: Do men actually want to be used for their money? Do they want women to be gold diggers and do they want to be sugar daddies and let money define their worth?

I was thinking, that I sure as hell don't want to be used for my money or just sex and I wouldn't do that to the man, that I am going to love in the future.

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Seems like many of them do
    Vote C
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What Guys Said 65

  • Most men don't want to be used just for their money just like most women don't want to be used just for sex. And, there is a small subset of men who don't mind being used just for their money, just as there is a small subset of women who don't mind being used for sex.

    I certainly don't want to be used for my money, nor do I want to be used for attention (I've had women use me, or attempt to use me, for both).

    I should make it clear that I don't mind paying for things the majority of the time, and even though I'm a working-class guy, I don't mind buying her things or paying her way - AS LONG AS I know she genuinely appreciates it, and as long as she makes an effort to pay her way at least most of the time.

    I probably pay for 3/5 or maybe even 3/4 of what is spent with my girl, but she's always ready to pay for herself and sometimes surprises me and pays for things on her own for both of us, and she always appreciates both the money and the time/attention I give to her. I don't feel at all used, anymore if it was precisely 50/50. She also doesn't mind occasionally folding a load of laundry or whatever at my place - she's not just "taking" all the time.

    I suspect that most guys feel the way I do - but there's always going to be a range of opinions.

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  • No, but you'd be forgiven for the confusion in thinking they did.

    Men do NOT want to be used for their money.
    However, I do think that many men find genuine happiness in PROVIDING for their significant other.

    The difference is, used for money, a guys is just a piggy bank (that gets fucked) that supports her lifestyle, and meets her wants.
    A guy who is providing is using the fruit of his labor to support her needs, to give her a secure life, and her wants, according to what is possible in his budget, because he wants to make her happy.

    Basically, the former is glorified prostitution. He gets sex, she gets money.
    The latter is... well, a family. Taking care of her as an obligation, making her happy because her smile gives him purpose.

    The problem is, there are guys who flash money around, because money=status, and status=desirable, but these same guys not only have no DESIRE to provide, they also, despite flaunting their money, actually have the audacity to get upset when they feel like they're being used for it.

    And, conversely, you have the tightwad jackass who feels "the bitch is just using me for my money!" when the rent is due, and he pays the whole thing, instead of just his half.

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    • 4d

      Finally one of those good answers. Thank you!

    • Show All
    • 3d

      It did :)

    • 3d

      I agree with your points,

      I think men who flash money are no different than women who wear sexy clothing all the time.
      Most women who always want to appear sexy from my experience tend to get upset with men slobbering all over them and most men who flash their money all the time get upset at people if they feel like people are using them for their money.

      People can be so ironic and strange. I think these personalities use this method of baiting in order to gain power in their relationships in the form of playing the victim.

  • No

    It's an oxymoron. If they wanted it, then they aren't being used.

    In other words, no man wants to be used, but some like being a sugar daddy. Being a sugar daddy is not being used, since they like doing it.

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  • Well, it depends on the man! A man with money will likely assume that he is going to draw women who are only interested in his wealth and the kind of lavish lifestyle they can gain from it! If a man knows this ahead of time, he will try to use it to his advantage if he can claim a woman who basically has the looks and body of a professional model! She can share in his wealth but she needs to work for it, almost like his own call girl, as sad as that is to say. If she is willing to work for his money, then that is the life the both of them will accept! However, I am sure the man will have other women on call while his woman cheats on the side. Furthermore, he would be careful about marriage, she would need to sign a prenuptial agreement if she wants access to his wealth! By this point, "love" has nothing to do with it!

    For a man of less wealth, he has to deal with situations where a woman divorces him and can legally find ways to strip him of everything he has worked his entire life for, thanks to the lawyer she may be sleeping with as well! This is where the hostility from some men comes into play! These men never expected their lives to be turned upside down and literally taken away from them by a greedy partner who only seeked to steal money from the man she once claimed to love...

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  • No, the problem is women keep lying about what they want. You say women don't want men for their money, but then turn around and expect him to have a high paying job, be ambitious (to get a high paying job), pay for dates etc. So clearly you want a mans money. Its not that men want to be wanted for their money, its that women want them for their money but pretend like they don't so they can act holier then thou about it. You want a man for his money as much as a man wants a woman for her looks, this is biology and its inescapable. Now to what degree, that's what determines whether or not you are a regular woman or a gold digger. Its the constant lying about it. You are not prestine, you are not perfect you are not morally superior, money matters to you whether you admit it or not and the sooner women acknowledge that this is factored into their attraction to some degree the sooner we can all move on and get on with our lives. You saying you don't like a man with resources/money is like a man saying he doesn't like an attractive woman or sex with said woman, he can say it but we all know he is lying. When he doubles down on that obvious lie it just starts to piss people off because again, its painfully obvious that its a lie and by doubling down he is saying that every one else is to stupid to see the very obvious truth. Just own it and move on.

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  • no they don´t want to be used for their money. men have feelings too and they want a girl who loves them and not their money. It´s one thing if you take your girl out and pay for her and something completely differnt if she just want a man cause of his money. That hurts. I would just want such a woman if I realy don´t find a girl who loves me. Not me money. Who loves me, myself and I. If I don´t find such a girl, I would maybe say okey, fuck it, I take a gold digger before I start getting depressive.

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  • I wouldn't want to be used for my money.

    And I wouldn't use her for her money if she earned a bit more than me.

    Either we are in a relationship for each other and NOT for the others money.

    Or I'll gladly show her the door otherwise, and say bye, go get your self a fool instead.

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  • Yes and no.
    Generally speaking, it's important to her what resources her man has because she knows sooner or later mother nature is going to demand she have and raise children.
    He may or may not help raising the children but generally speaking, it's the woman who does it, and wants to do it.
    This does not make her a gold digger, it's common sense and necessity.
    Aside from children, she may earn lots and not care that much about what he earns (two of my female kin are lead wages in their relationship) but there are still other reasons why she might.
    Generally speaking, a guy knows he'll have to work, and support a family of that is his choice (maybe on his own or combined ). Many men prefer this to child care but not all.
    So then there is an implicit or explicit understanding in many relationships.
    An out and out gold digger stereotype is different in that she expects all the resources and gives nothing except to look pretty.

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  • i do not no.

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  • There's a couple of things here...

    It's better to judge people on their actions rather than their words. Women will never admit that money attracts them, but what they actually do says otherwise. Therefore you can tell people all you want, nobody will believe you until you prove it.

    Men who are under-achievers will project. What they fail to realise is that men who are pro-active about life and aspire will naturally come into money... but its the person themselves, rather than the bank balance which matters.

    Most women are attracted to money and the type of person who can get a lot of it. But out and out gold diggers are very rare.

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  • I don't think any man wants that, but some have to accept the fact that it might be the only love they ever get.

    Men are pragmatic. Fake love is better than no love at all.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkcKaNqfykg

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  • Nope I don't like gold diggers.

    I'm guessing the guys just found it ludicrous that women would go out with guys for anything other than their wallet.

    Cause to be fair I did see on the news or some talk show this woman was treating online dating like a business.

    She would plan lots of dates with guys and makes sure she doesn't pay anything. That way she gets to eat and drink for free. Then she basically just moves on to the next person.

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  • No. I think a lot of guys are just insecure and don't really understand women etc. So they just try and be successful or pretend to be and hope that's enough ^^

    Some might see that money attracts women and just go with what works.
    And some might be clueless that they're beeing used and just under her spell basically ^^
    I don't know there's different possibilities.

    I don't think guys actually want to be used for money but it works out that way sometimes.
    Personally I don't care about money (beyond what I need to survive and pursue my goals). I work on myself and try to improve my life and follow my path. So I'm the wrong candidate anyway ^^ Well I might make money some day bu I'm not pursuing it directly if I make money I wantg it to be only as a side benefit to working on something that I care about. Not the primary goal.

    I think in a way women are attracted to success though. Like I dn't think most women are actually attracted to money (although some are) But they're attracted to the mindset that brings success. Confidence, someone who has a goal and is pursuing it. Someone who has their shit together, etc. All these things are things that make you successful.

    So women are not attracted to money or other kinds of success directly but they are still biologically programmed to seek out the most "fit" men (I mean as in survival of the fittest).

    It's a complicated topic though there's a lot of evolutionary biology and stuff in there ^^

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  • I don't think there is any man who WANTS to be used for their money.

    However, there are men that will throw money at a hot woman with big tits. These are usually going to be rich men, because the money that the woman leeches from him makes no difference to his overall worth. A multimillionaire isn't likely to care if he has a super hot gold digging girlfriend as long as she sucks dick and and spreads her legs.

    This isn't the same for the average joe. When money is tight, financial stress will quickly douse any romantic flame in the relationship.

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  • Men want to be used for their money as much as women want to be used for sex, and a surprising amount of both of those types of people exist.

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  • Many women want him to. Many women don't want to be with a man that can not buy her stuff. So no, most men don't want to be used for their money but i have seen many women use men like atms.

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  • I don't want to be "used" for anything. I only want someone who is in love with me. If I pick up that she doesn't really have an interest in me but was just interested in my money I'd not see her again.

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  • Some rich guys can't get women any other way, so they use their money as power to attract women. There are plenty of girls who will entertain this kind of man in trade for having money spent on them. With that said, most guys don't want a good digger and most girls don't want to be viewed as being bought.

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  • No but it's easy to throw money around if you have to get her attention... doesn't take much work lol

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  • My opinion is some guys don't care if women use their money if it means sex in return. There are men out there who make a lot of money and waste it frivolously, which is sad because God blessed them with income and they could be doing better things with it. Me personally, I have a motto in life, DTA -- Don't Trust Anybody.

    While I have a sympathetic, caring, supportive side for others when they are down or hurt and I will be willing to help, I would be naive to think that everyone is a good person, therefore, I keep my guard up and I keep my distance if I am getting a bad vibe from that person (man or woman). I do believe that there are independent women out there who want to pay for themselves and they don't need a man's income to make their lives better.

    However, I do believe there are women out there who want to be with a man for his money. This is a test on earth by God, we are getting judged for the actions we do, but let's be honest there are people out there who don't care about others and only about themselves with the glitz, the glamour, the lifestyle, the 1st class trips to Paris or the Bahama's, the cars and etc. It really comes from within, are you a modest person or a person who is simply cutthroat like the banking industry with the approach "by any means necessary"?

    I've known girls and women in the past who felt that because a man scorned her in the past (i. e: her father, her uncle, her ex-bf or her ex-husband) she should get vindication by being over sexual and playing the next guy like a puppet for his money. But not all women or girls are like that and that's what guys have to understand, that's why it's important to understand how the girl is like if she comes across as bitchy or the type to only talk to you for favors? or simply cares about status then chances are, run away from a girl or woman like that.

    Take me for example, im in law school, I knew a pretty girl in med school, things didn't work out between us but I wished her well and I said I hope she finds the right guy. When I was kind of dating her, my guy friends said, "bro, don't worry about school, just marry her she'll be a doctor!". I said no, that is the most superficial thing and I am not that type of guy.

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  • Of course not, only someone who is on to you and willingly pays you money to be his personal hooker would enjoy such a thing.
    The moment i find out she is after me for my money i take back all my gifts and kick her out of my life.

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  • Rich men bragging with money does want you to like their money, poor men wants you to like them as who they are.

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  • absolutley not. they jsut do it because they feel like its there only way of keeping a girl around is if they buy their love. the fact that so many women think that men seem to is just sad.

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  • Hell no, my assets are for me and me only. I worked hard for that shit and the only time I spend it on another person is when I think they are worth investing in.

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  • I am of means but never flaunt it meaning there would never be an instance where this would be possible

    So, no

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  • Considering how many men have agreed to get married, it is clear that the vast majority of men are ok with it.

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  • Money is important in the relationship. Should that be a reason to purely love somebody? No. Absolutely not.
    Man makes the money, not money makes the man.

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  • Unless you're some old, rich geezer then no.. you're not going to want gold diggers unless you're a masochist.

    Nice generalization though.

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  • I think if a dude has more money then he needs type of situation sure maybe. for the rest of us average dudes no we dont want that

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  • I have come across women who DEFINITELY are only interested in a man for his money or prestige and if the guy doesn't have one or the other then the woman isn't interested. But I've only come across that in rare cases. I also have never known a guy to want to be used for his money.

    On equally rare occasions I do hear guys complaining that their girlfriend spends to much or "seems" only interested in money. But that's the extent of it.

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  • More from Guys
    35

What Girls Said 7

  • I think this is different but it's actually a fetish. Financial domination is a paraphilia in which the usually male submissive is financially dominated by a woman. This usually involves using their money and relinquishing control of their finances.

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    • There is indeed a fetish version of it, but thats not the same as gold digging.
      Gold digging is essentially being with someone under false pretences, while with the fetish aspect he requests that she does this to him.

    • @sawno I know, but the asker said "do these guys like it" not "do girls gold dig"

  • I don´t think they want to be used for their money. I think most of them would like to know they do have enough money to provide if needed, but not actually do so - precisely because the word ''used'' has no place here. And also because well, making money ain´t easy. Not everyone is ready (or able) to be the sole provider.

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  • Well I don't think anyone wants to be "use." But money is a big part of what a man offers in a relationship. Just like sex is a big part of what a woman offers.

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  • Girl you'd be surprised 😂😂😭. there are so many men who are on sugar daddy sites Willing to make it rain for some booty

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  • No one ever WANTS to be used. When the money runs out, what happens? You lose the girl. Is material objects really want you need to keep a girl?

    In truth, it's not the money, but the power behind the money. Money can buy things. Cars, jewelry, expensive trips, etc etc. A man with a lot of money has a lot of power. They can DO things for the girl. Some girls want a man that can do and give them things. So, those women flock to the guy with the most power (I. E the most money). When the money leaves, so does the girl.

    Men KNOW this. This is why they throw their money at those kinda of women. Those women will degrade themselves for said money. Do things for a taste of that power.

    In the end, NO men do not want to be used for their money.

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  • If you are volunteering money, I will be taking it.

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  • Yes they do, I am gonna make a YouTube video shitting on men one day, they are confused.

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