A few days ago my boyfriend told me if certain things work out then he may move in next month. Obviously I am very excited. I’ve lived with him before while we were away at college.
This experience made me think of what advice people may want to give others about moving in with their SO. What advice would you give? What would you expect?
What should you expect when moving in with a SO?
A few days ago my boyfriend told me if certain things work out then he may move in next month. Obviously I am very excited. I’ve lived with him before while we were away at college.
What Guys Said 58
Personally, I think you have to live with someone for 2 years or so in order to really get to know them, lots of what you will learn, is the other stuff... like “oh... bleh” - the dirty habits, smell their farts, they just go from cute to simply really human, and annoying. However, you are either the type of person, where all of it will make you even closer or you will look forward to the day you have your own space again.
Best advise: don’t try to change him all the time. You will want to. Learn the difference between asking someone to be considerate of you, and trying to change them, they aren’t the same8
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Ground rules on the toaster... you know you ain't going to like it the same, so you need to make sure you check each time you turn it on :'(6
That whatever small issues you may have, need to be addressed prior to him moving in such as, the way the toilet roll faces, or washing dishes or even frequency of sex if necessary. The small things can make or break a relationship, because those small things naturally are amplified when you go from just encountering them whenever you see him to encountering them every single day. Often this is the stage where people find out if they can take their relationship to the next step, and often all it takes to make it work is a few prior ground rules like who pays what bill, groceries, or who cooks. In my experience you shouldn't just expect the other person know what's expected of them, regardless of how trivial, it's in your best interest to just mention it so that you're both on the same page.4
realize they are people too and have a different way of living/doing things that might not vibe with you. the smallest things might get under your skin and its important to bring them up if they do bother you, but not to be disrespectful or mean about it. being able to compromise yourself is also important.8
What girls should expect: Tons of pubic hair on rim of toilet seat with tiny like sand like speckles sprinkled throughout (that's the dead skin cells that flake off the scrotum after scratching balls) 2. A bedroom that smells like a blend of fart, semen, sweat and dirty socks 3. Expired milk and food that has molded in the refrigerator 4. A dog that likes to watch you two hump with awe and a tilted head 5. Dirty dishes that have been sitting there for so long that you need a flame thrower to nuke crusted food off plates 6. Continuous sports on television5
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This is something I think would be awesome and a good way of preparing for life together as a potential married couple. As for what to expect, I unfortunately wouldn't know, as I've only had a few relationships.
As for friends I have known, they have had both good and bad experiencing living with a significant other. I think two people just really have to know everything about the other person and know what they are getting into, in order for living together to work. Otherwise, two people might suddenly find that each others little nuances annoy each other more than they are willing to put up with.1
If I were to move in with my girlfriend I wouldn’t expect her to do anything like cooking and cleaning I mean I would expect her to help but not do all the work and I would expect us both to work and every morning I wake up before everyone so it’s going to be the same with her which means I’m going to wake up and make her breakfast because I’m a nice person and I care about her5
Lots of frustration and different lifestyle means getting used to things like pet peeves like him leaving the water running. Or not opening shower curtain after shower. Having his boys over on working night where they smoke if you don't. Than there are the benefits like having only to pay 50% half of rent or maybe nothing depending on how generous your man is. As well as having someone there always to cuddle and kiss and have sex with anytime. Most of all for him it may mean coming home to a hot meal after long day work. Man really appreciate that from a woman.3
Expect those cute little annoyances to stop being so cute anymore and start becoming legit annoying.6
Maybe not in your case because you've already lived together before, but generally you're going to find out "new" things about them and how they are/like/live from day to day. Things maybe that bug/bother you lol. Could be little things, but it will "test" how well your relationship is and if you guys can "handle" it. For example, maybe he leaves dirty dishes lying around the house/apt and it drives you crazy! lol1
I'm pretty simple when it comes to living with another. Cuddle time and dont mind it when I cook meals lol. Other wise I'm a open to anything.1
A couple things are important when moving in together. One: Make sure you both still get "you" time. Trust me you will need it. It's great being with your SO all the time and always having them right there. But, it's nice to have your own personal space and time as well. Two: If something comes up that starts getting on your nerves, don't wait to talk about it, just bring it up right away and move on. Three: Try to be courteous of each other. I know that sounds obvious but you would be surprised how comfortable you will get around each other and sometimes you might forget basic courtesies. Either way good luck, hope things work out and you get to move back. in together 🖒🖒4
There will be misunderstanding, like things you are not used to and it's looks/seems weird the same goes for him. Communicate and understand that men hold things in and says nothing till they explode. Talk and talk, there is always new thing you don't know about he would love it if try to understand his way, same for you as well what you like and what you don't. After few months of misunderstanding and maybe a fight (total normal) you two will make your own world and live in harmony together. It's take and give, don't take 80% and give back like 10%, make it equal. No one gets in perfect life in a relationship without problems.1
Make sure this is something that will be the best for both of you
Make sure you both agree on what bills need paid and what is
separate and what belongs to who.3
First off, stop calling them a SO and just say Significant other or lover
Maybe you should consider the size of the living space
The habits you both have
where each of you will sleep
Well every little habit you both have will show itself and the littlest things can get on each other’s nerves and if one of you snore then that’s another thing. One of you will be messier than the other too1
longs u both hav a good communication with each other and are planning for long term which is marriage yea4
Since you have lived together before you should pretty much know what to expect. The advice I always give people who are serious and considering marriage at some point you should live together for at least a year because by then you will know what it is like to be married to them.1
Things change when you move in together. you see each other all the time which sparks fights easily4
The smart move is discussing about things from the start. Who should handle what are to be planned from the beginning. Some personal habits might be annoying but just accept him as he is.
Arguments and misunderstandings will happen more but just handle them in your own style LOL. Good luck!1
Team work and more talking hopefully.2
Teamwork makes the dream work ⚡4
If you've actually already been with him under the same then it's the same thing as before, so... It's normal2
My own bedroom, not wanting to share a bed at all until marriage. Aside from that, just basic appliances like a washer and dryer, decent size shower, etc. I also wouldn’t be too picky about messiness. lol1
Pay your own bills and keep money separate.2
Expect to hold in your farts2
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What Girls Said 39
Moving in with a partner is very exciting but also comes with it's challenges. You have two separate lifestyles coming together as one so if you aren't on the same page, that can lead to some frustration.
For example, when I moved in with my boyfriend, I was SO annoyed at some of his habits and the way he maintained his apartment (of course I knew some of these things before moving in, but you don't really see the FULL aspect of the other person's living habits until you actually live together). He found some of my habits annoying as well. Ultimately, it just takes patience, communication and compromise to work it out.
Another important thing is privacy and personal space. Living together doesn't automatically mean you have to be together ALL the time and share everything. It's still good to have your separate interests and time alone (at least for me, that's important). It's okay to ask for space and do things by yourself sometimes, even when you live together!
Honesty and communication about finances is VERY important as well when you live with your partner. Your financial decisions don't just impact yourself anymore, it impacts the other person too so it's always good to talk about that before moving in and figure out how you're going to share the financial responsibilities when you live together.
Those are the main things I would advise a couple moving in together to think about. :)11
That finances are outlined before anyone moves and set in stone unless their is a detailed discussion anytime it has to be deviated from. There is no cavalier “I’ll pay double next month because I had to pay for something else now”.
And to pick the battles that matter. Bringing up every tiny annoyance gets old quickly and leads to resentment and lowered self esteem. Saving the time to talk for serious matters means they’re more likely to be heard and taken on board, because obviously they’re important5
expect to learn about all of his quirks and habits.
you'll both be needing to have a talk about what to expect from each other in the way of sharing the work load.
❤don't ❤forget❤ to❤ keep❤ dating❤ each ❤other ❤.
it'll keep the romance from fizzling out.
always say please and thank you even for the littlest things. ❤😘8
Granted my boyfriend temporarily only moved in with me for a month, I would say that it’s not massively different.
I was worried that we’d become annoyed with each other and start fighting, but it actually went really well. It wasn’t much different from living alone, like I didn’t really have to adjust my routine. And it was nice to have someone home when I came home.
The only thing I can really say is that you’ll probably see his quirks a bit more up close. Like leaving dishes or cups here and there. They might annoy you or they might not. If they do, I’d suggest just talking to him about it :) my boyfriend used to not wring out the rag after cleaning with it, which meant that it got dirtier a lot faster. Plus it was extra gross to grab it when it was cold and soaking wet. I just told him to quit it and he did, lol.
We also have different schedules. I work in the evening which meant that we could only eat dinner together a couple of days a week. Made it so that we had to discuss food requirements quite often.
Otherwise if you have a healthy relationship, it won’t be much different. Just communicate your wants and expectations, as well as let him know if you want certain things to be a certain way (and vice versa).2
Good question. We were already extremely close when we moved in together full time after we got married. We'd shared tons of nights stayed over at each other's house, weekends and whole weeks together at my family's beach house at the ocean. So there were clues of how he did things around the house, he was kind of spoiled by his mom and little sister growing up; so he was a bit rusty on clean up. I grew up with two brothers using the same bathroom. So I already knew about the bathroom smells, wiskers lining the sink, peeing in and on the toilet, seat up, water all over the counter, toothpaste on the counter, mirror and a little bit in the sink. He didn't live up to my brothers cleanliness standards, he's much cleaner thankfully!
He likes to stay up an hour or two later some nights and weekends then come cuddle up his cold self with my warm toasty comfortable sleepy self which wakes me right up!! He sees nothing wrong with that because I love snuggling with him! I have left my feet hang out from under the covers and rubbed them on his warm back, he just doesn't get the connection so it's no fun! We sleep naked so there's always lots of bare skin to rub a cold body part onto!!
If anything it was the bedroom that took the most getting used to, not the sex part that's expected and encouraged by both of us, it's the sleeping together part that takes the most getting used to! I mean most of us grow up having a whole bed to ourselves where we can spread out and get comfy under the covers all alone, comfortably!! Then he starts sharing my queen size bed every night, I'm not sure how or why he needs 75% plus more room than I do, after all he's not 75% bigger than I am! He just says its him getting close to me so he can snuggle, I can't argue with that so I guess he can have his half and the quarter we snuggle in!!
We grew up together, as best friends if I wasn't at his house he was at mine. We lived just a couple of houses apart on the same road, so we knew lots of little secret things about the other! I'd already seen him and his bed hair. His grumpy self, when he wakes up I knew to have the coffee ready if we were going to have any logical conversation! I knew that if I was going to tell him anything in the morning, he had better already have downed at least half of the first cup of coffee or he won't remember any of it!
Thankfully I knew him pretty well before we moved in together! I knew what I was getting and so did he!1
Be ready to compromise. Communicate about issues early on, before they blow up. Never shy away from communicating and discussing things. It’s always better to hash stuff out than it is to have people misunderstanding each other and hiding their feelings. That will poison your whole relationship.4
My best advice to you: make sure to create some kind of personal space in your home for each of you; a way that you can both have private time away from each other. Sometimes, a simple pair of earbuds and sitting the corner is enough.
No matter how much you love each other or how well you communicate, couples still need time away from each other to properly process and contemplate the little things in life. It's harder to make rational decisions with your love sitting next to you on the couch. And no union is 100% perfect, couples fight. When that happens, you'll want to "go to your corners" to calm down.2
Make sure you have your own space. I have my own art room and I bedroom if needed. I sleep in our bedroom most of the time but I have insomnia. It's nice to have a place to go and not worry my restlessness is bothering him. He also has his own entertainment/mancave as well as a work room.
Even if you live together make sure you still have your own lives and friends.
Figure out the finances before moving in together. We literally kept every joint receipt and bill one of us paid. At the end of the month one of us paid the one who paid more so everything was equal.
Figure out who's doing what chores. Cooking, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, washing bedding, scrubbing showers, house maintenance, shoveling, mowing, etc.
There's a lot of responsibilities but it's great to come home to someone special everyday.4
Living with someone else isn't easy. Whatever flaws he has at the moment, stuff about him that bugs you now - chances are you will experience them with an intensity you're not prepared for. You'll have to sort out expenses, house chores and other tasks, you'll have to make time together and also make time apart (yes, we also need space). You'll have to compromise, share, give up on some things. (I thought I'd give you the negative, cause I'm pretty sure you're aware of the positive) :) don't let the negative stuff hold you back though. Everything in life that is worth something to us, usually has some effort involved. And if he's right for you, you will be able to forget about the bad stuff and focus on how wonderful life is with him. Good luck to you :)2
Oh my goodnesss! Those annoying little things like using my shampoo and not putting it back in its place, the fight iver blankets and covers... never ending (he is always hot and i seem to be cold all the time so when it gets humid we stay up at night or someone sleeps on the couch due to overheating but im still frosty 😂 empty milk cartons in the fridge in the morning... only in the morning tho... that thing he does with his clothes after work... like strip down and put it in my laundry basket even after i put an extra out for oily greasy really messy ones that needs an extra long wash with super detergent and another quick wash sometimes aswel. He never gets that right... never. its been a while and i still do laundry LOUDLY like swearing half the time.
Otherwise living with an significant other is great.. you learn a lot more about each other and you grow together as people and closer. Its a good time to see if its going to last in the long run.
I will admit... my boyfriend hates the lights being on after midnight. He likes his sleep and i like to work after midnight😂so we try our best to compromise. FOOOOODDDS. Goodluck in this category.2
Moving in with my boyfriend didn't really change things too much; it presented a new challenge because I'm so non-confrontational and I tend to stay quiet about things that irritate me. He'd do stupid things like be loud and drunk at 2am when I had to be up early. Or make zero effort with household chores when he worked half the hours at work that I did. But once I finally got comfortable with addressing these things right away, it went smoothly. I mean, until we broke up.
I'll tell you, I miss waking up next to someone every day though. That part is awesome.1
The advice I would give is:
-get to know him very well before you move in with the guy. Why?
Because you can avoid stressing and conflicting.
Is he a clean person?
Does he care and respect the space that y’all going to be sharing?
Is he ready to give up habits for your comfort?
Is he going to pull his weight?
Is he going to be that type of guy that arrives at home and make you dinner and cleans? Or going to be that type of guy that will get home, throw his socks on he floor and eat pizza, finish it and then when you get home you don’t have any food ready? I have a husband and it was very hard because he was behaving like a lazy f*ck. After a year full of arguments and threats is when h finally decided to get his act together.
Until today I still experience some awful things...
how long have you know your man?1
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He will feel awkward at first, as it is your space he is "invading". I felt the same way when I moved in with my guy. For quite a while, I felt like a guest and not a partner.
The only advice I can give you, which you may know already, is that if you have a row, NEVER go to sleep without making up. If you don't, it may be twice as bad in the morning.1
I went through this not too long ago, and I'm still figuring things out as I go. You'll see each others bad sides (and I mean more than just the occasional skip of a shave or a big fart), you may feel tension, you may fight, you may honestly want a break from each other. Living together is hard as fuck, even if you're perfectly happy in the relationship. You just need to remind yourself that it's all worth it, and it really is. Although we've wanted to actually fist fight each other on occasion, we have more good times than bad, and I wouldn't change anything.1
Just do you, all these people are saying living with someone amplifies their annoying habits but that only bugged me when my roommate was an alcoholic asshole. I've lived with my SO 7 years or so now and we don't annoy each other. I think the key is if something bugs you don't assume it is the other person's problem, if it bugs you you fix. If someone else has a different comfort level don't expect them to change to put you at ease.4
It really depends on who you are as a person. Some people go insane, many of my friends told me that it almost ended their relationship because the first six months is so hard. For me, it was easy. We were so alike and would listen to each other. You just gotta expect that someone isn't going to live exactly how you do so you gotta be willing to adjust.1
You're gonna need a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of spontaneity to keep your relationship going cause after a while, things get sooooo routine.
Goodluck to you guys. Wish you the best. x2
Just remember to use I statements and don't always assume.
For example if he or she leaves their clothes all over the room, they don't do it to make you angry. Just say, "I feel happier if the house was more clean but I understand that you like to be able to be comfortable in your house" or whatever, seek first to understand than be understood and try to compromise as much as possible.
(from 7 habits of highly effective people)1
Lol well I’m just now seeing this. Feel free to look at the opinions on mine if there’s any changes in answers lmao1
If its not gonna be a problem a couple years down the line, dont fight about it.1
Be prepared to see how he lives. It’s one thing to see it when you to live separately but living together living with my cousin was hell his a perv.1
You might argue a bit more. But you can stick it out and got this!2
I have lived with my SO for 5 years. We just recently decided it's best we live apart. One peice of advice from me is even though you two live together make space between each other when space is needed. That's the problem my SO and I had.. No space..1
A lot of arguments and realizing each others annoying habits lol2
You've already lived with him before. It shouldn't be too different from back then.1
Establish boundaries and how household chores will be divided.1
It’s a true test to see if you are compatible, as you are going to be around them for long periods of time1
Expect more fights, more cleaning and less sex.0
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