How do I tell my boyfriend that I want things to move slower without hurting his feelings?

My boyfriend and i just met our 2 week mark of being together and i feel like we’re moving to fast already. He says he loves me and i took his virginity and now he’s talking about already getting me a promise ring, him helping me pay for my college tuition and getting engaged. i feel a bit rushed and i don’t know how to tell him i think we should slow down without hurting his feelings.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dang, girl. I'd say you started it. He obviously thinks more of the encounter than you do. Now he's comitted. I think you and he should talk about it. Get all your feelings on the table. But let the record show that I blame you. Should have known more about what you were getting into when you slept with the dude. Sounds like a good guy, wanting to seal the deal.

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    • Wait... your profile says you're under 18... I hope you're not a minor where you're from cuz that's a serious problem if that's the case.

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    • Huh. Never heard of such a thing in the midwest. Either way, I hope that when I have children they trust me enough to talk to me about it.

    • yeah lol

Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey girl.

    I understand your position but from the guys point of view.

    Me and my boyfriend are nearly at 2 months of being together. He took my virginity, i feel overly attached to him and i can honestly see myself having a life with him. I can see kids, marriage, old age. All of it but the difference is i haven't told him that because i don't want to freak him out.

    I think your guy is just infactuated with you and it's kinda adorable.

    You'll never be able to ask him to slow down without hurting his feelings, but you can do it gently.

    Say something like "look, i really like you, but we are really early on and that's a bit much for now..."

    It shows you respect him but that he does need to calm down.

    I wish you guys luck! Xx

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    • thank you, that really helped, i hope things work out for you guys too

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What Guys Said 10

  • You can't worry about hurting his feelings. If things are moving too quickly for you, you need to tell him that clearly. If he truly cares about you, he'll understand and pump the brakes a bit. If not, that's a sign that he's not right for you.

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  • Well this is kind of your own fault. You wanted to keep things slow? Then maybe don't bang after 2 weeks yeah? But since you've already dug yourself into this hole. You have to ask him if you can take things slower. If you love him then tell him this, no matter how think he will feel.

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  • My opinion is that explain to him that you are still getting to know each other more intimately and before you both commit whole heartedly it's best to do so step by step.
    Àlso if I can suggest, start of by asking him a simple question that you know he doesn't know about you, e. g what is your favourite colour, favourite show stuff like that.

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  • he's got it bad and he's gonna get super possessive and jealous, time to move onto something new

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    • what do you by mean move onto something new

    • he's too in love too quick. he's going to be clingy as hell.. if i was you id dump him n find someone less insecure and needy.

  • there's no way to sugar coat it more.. the statement's already sugar coated...
    just say it... .. you r right. its rushed..

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  • Just tell him you feel like things are moving too fast. If he really loves you, he'll be totally cool with it.

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  • Just tell him you want to take it nice and slow. Lol talking engagement after 2 weeks smh. Kinda cute.

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  • Just tell him you're uncomfortable with going that fast and it makes you nervous. If he truly cares about you then he'll slow down for you.

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  • You had sex with him. He's so greatful he wants to give you the world. Enjoy it while it lasts

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  • I think you are moving in right speed,

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What Girls Said 13

  • Just be honest. Tell him that you're excited to be with him, but you're still getting to know each other. Let him know that you'd like to move a little slower.

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  • Honesty is key. Tell him that you feel like things are going faster than you can keep up and you want to slow it down before you guys get too ahead of your selves. But really just be honest 2 weeks is way too fast in my book too. Good luck !

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  • Just tell it how it is, otherwise you'll be not so into the relationship. I been told and I was glad bc I didn't know that I was doing it until it got pointed out to me. 😉

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  • Jesus, you are more than moving quickly, you out-running Usian Bolt...

    You need to be honest and he needs to calm down. You have so much ahead of you

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  • What the heck are you two even doing? It's bad enough you two had premarital sex which you shouldn't have done, but now you expect him to just slow down? He's not going to slow do You shouldn't of had sex with him. Because now he's attached to you completely. You're going to hurt him anyway and eventually leave because it was games to you. This is why you don't have premarital sex. The damage is already been done. Just be honest with him. Becuase either way, he wants what he wants and you want what you want. That's what happens when you lose your virginity before marriage. He's not going to let this go. He's moving fast because he had sex with YOU. If you wasn't going to take it seriously you shouldn't of had done this. At the same time both of you should have talked about this way before this. 2 weeks and you two are already poking each other. Both of you are lusting after each other and moving way too fast. This is not a healthy relationship and it needs to end.

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  • Well, it's obvious that he valued his virginity a lot. He seems more into it than you. Just tell him that you want to slow things down.

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  • Why did you bang him in the first place if thought things "were going to fast"

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    • i didn’t think we were going to fast at that time, i’m just now feeling like we are

  • The best you can do is be honest, and expect him to understand. And if he doesn't dump his ass 😂

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  • That would freak me out. But really he's just infatuated. Bring him down to earth some.

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  • I can see where it is moving too fast for you, you guys haven't graduated high school yet and the thought of starting a family and getting married might scare you. My fiance and I just reached our 8 month mark we are fixing to move in together he is helping me with my college homework. I like that if I need help I have his support me and him have dated on and off again for the last 7 years of my life, he has seen my ups and downs and everything in between. Asks him if y'all could slow it down until you tow are in college, your teens a d twentys are there so you can learn to love yourself before you take the dive and have to learn how to love someone else.

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  • write him a letter?

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  • You won’t hurt his feelings

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  • If he loves you he will understand

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