How do you know if you’re falling in love?

I’ve always been a bit socially incompetent. I have a hard time understanding emotion and empathizing with others. A girl who is very special to me has said “love you/ya” twice, once over mail and the other over text, respectively. I don’t think I’ve ever felt romantic love before and didn’t know how to respond. I’m always a brutally honest person and hate lying. We’re not in a relationship - she lives 6 hours away. We knew each other for a short time before she moved away, and I sensed some chemistry but never pursued her. We keep up online now though. I know some women will say ‘love you’ platonically, which adds to the confusion. I have strong feelings for her, but don’t know if I feel love. What does love feel like, and how should I respond sensitively?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • For me, I know I'm in love when I want to throw up thinking about how I'm going to see them and then, paradoxically, once I'm with them, feeling more at ease than I could even imagine feeling. Although that might not be helpful to a case where you aren't seeing each other in person.

    Just be yourself, you'll know if you really love her when and if you do. Right now you can just answer kindly. The context is important to understand what she even means by it. If she signs off with it, like "bye, love ya," or slips it casually into conversation it's most likely platonic or just testing the waters to see if the potential for romance is there.

    An I love you confession of a romantic nature (where she is sure she has serious feelings for you) is usually the center of the discussion. And it usually comes with all the pronouns and correct spellings, like "I love you" vs "love ya."

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is a major difference between infatuation and love. Infatuation feels like love, but its far from it.

    You know you truly love someone when you're willing to sacrifice whatever it is for their own benefit and happiness even at your inconvience and with joy.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I didn't know until it hit me hard. Like a puzzle that suddenly came together with the last piece being put in place. I suppose when you cannot stop thinking about that person, and whenever something happens you want to tell that person first. When you are comfortable telling them pretty much anything about your life. And they can do the same. You should know them a decent amount of time before you can be really sure it isn't just lust or infatuation.

    But if I can be honest don't attempt long distance if you can't meet regulary, and especially if either one of you isn't serious about it.

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    • So I guessed I fallen in love with a guy I met 3 years ago but only had been on dates with him twice. I check everyday his FB account to see if he posted something new or nothing. I check my Whatassp just to check if he texted me something too. But he is not much of a texter anyway and we had only went out twice and even made out n those 2 times.

  • You just do... Especially when you get a warm feeling about a certain person inside. :)

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  • perhaps when you can enjoy each other's company even in complete silence

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  • Real love is when you put their wellbeing before your own. Anything else is just infatuation.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Romantic love is one of those things where you know it if you see it.

    Try to see her as often as possible and keep in touch. Can you move near her?

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    • No, that’s not really an option. And it’s not really serious enough to warrant moving. Officially, we’re still just friends.

    • Show All
    • You may want to keep your mind open to a move. She has really made an impression on you.

    • I’ll always try to keep my mind open! Thank you for your advice! 😀

  • You stop thinking, and you might start daydreaming about romantic shit you can do to make her love you back.

    Don't worry it goes away eventually.

    By the way falling in "love" is not the same as loving someone.

    True love requires sacrifice.

    Falling in "love" is little more than a desire to be with someone.

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  • Love is a process. It takes time to fall in love. It's ok not to feel something immediately.
    When I first met my wife, I was immediately infatuated with her but that wasn't love. We started dating and we had chemistry but that wasn't love. It took me years before I would say "I love you" and mean it.
    You are too young to be in love. That said, I think you are very wise for your age to be able to understand yourself enough to know that you are not in love. Good on you!

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  • When everything looks beautiful even and you are no more annoyed to anyone because you don't care about anything rather than your partner that's love, suddenly the world we be more beautiful to you😊

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  • You'll know when you'll fall in love. It can't be put into words. It's just the best feeling. And don't tell you love her until you really do love her.

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  • It’s one of those “you just know” things. lol Like knowing if you’re happy or sad. Love is an emotion.

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  • This is a disease called oneitis and its not good. If you think you are going to contract it leave the relationship as fast as possible.

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  • Do you think about her everyday? Do you feel happy with her, when you chat, or even thinking?

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  • Bra if you wake up in the morning and you can't think of anything but her then you're in love.

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  • It hits you like a ton of bricks.

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  • When I can’t stop thinking about her, she always on my my and I know I can’t live without her, she the only one. When I feel this then I know I want her to be my shortie

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