He says he loves me but isn't ready to commit.

My now "boyfriend" & I tell each other that we love each other. He has also told me that he needs more time to get to know me , to be sure that he wants to commit to me. This really scares me & makes me sad but I want to allow him the time he says he needs to figure out his feelings. I really like him & I have been patient.

He has never been in a relationship & says I am his first love although we are both almost 40! I sometimes fear that I am providing him experience & he will back out & break my heart. I know everyone must worry about that. We met online & although he said he only wanted a friendship I knew I wanted more. I approached it carefully when we finally met in person and he lives across country so we are also dealing with a distance relationship. He is in college full time and I am a single parent.

He is planning to come visit me after Christmas, I want him to but I am scared of getting close and getting my daughter close to him , when it could hurt us both if he remains unsure.

This is just so hard..I have been married and divorced so I don't like games at all and I tend to assess my feelings quickly which most men find strange & scary. I just thought we were close, he says that we are close and that we have something special.

I don't think he has any idea how scared I am because he tells me that he has never met a woman like me that my love is so "real" that's true because I wanted to trust him with my whole heart, now I am concerned I won't be able to...just not sure what to do or what is going on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • he told you in the beginning about being friends...that was your first warning...you have to be patient

    your daughter may be a collective bargaining tool, assuming he likes kids, if you want to speed the process up, but ultimately, you have to be the realtor in this relationship and get him to buy into the idea of marriage in spite of your past or whatever transgressions that might exist in you or him right now


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