Wife Began Taking SSRIs and Lied to Me for Months. Care to Advise?

BigPunny
So, there are very few studies that show SSRIs being any more effective than a placebo (which is nearly always a 33% success rate for the sugar pill).

My wife and I talk about this a lot because she had a very bad childhood and those demons still haunt her. I've encouraged her to seek counseling but she won't.

She saw a Nurse Practitioner one day and tells me she's taking a questionnaire but said she won't take any pills but wanted a referral to a counselor. I was very supportive.

That was about 3 months ago. Then, the other morning she says she was picking up medicine, then tells me she was going to try SSRIs.

I was kinda' shocked and the conversation began again about the dangers of SSRIs and she started screaming at me about how it's her body and she'll do what she wants. She's right. . . she can do to her body whatever she feels she must, but she and I have been together for 19 years so what affects her ultimately affects me and the kids too.

Well, I let it go, but then a day or so later, I discovered by accident that she had been taking other medications. She then revealed she had been taking the SSRIs for 3 months (starting the day she told me she wouldn't take them). I felt betrayed by this revelation. I felt like a terrible husband, first of all.

I know I don't control her and would never try, but it made me question myself as a husband. Was I so bad, after all, that she had to make a life-altering decision without me?

But here I am, very upset by this, feeling very betrayed and I'm not sure if I have the right to be. Ultimately, it's her body and that's her right.

I love my wife, but this one really hurt me. And her attitude about it afterward hurt me. She did stop taking the medication a week before I found out because it destroyed our sex life.

What do you all think? Please be respectful - I'm not leaving her and she's not leaving me so if you say that I'll just block you.
Updates:
1 y
I do want to add that I would have never told her "NO" to taking those pills, because that is not my right. But, I believe that a person should make informed decisions and I believe doctors and Nurse Practitioners (which is who she saw that day) will lie or omit crucial details when prescribing things.

Also, I realize that this is not about me - her taking the pills - and that it's about her wanting to better herself. But what affects her affects me and I think I deserve to know.
1 y
So the wife and I spoke this morning and I feel like her need to lie was because of my aggressive apprehension for drugs like that. I feel as if I'm just trying to protect my family but I can see why she might have felt cornered and, hearing from her doctor that there were zero adverse effects and no dependency issues, she made an ill-informed decision.

I clearly have things I need to work through on my end and hopefully she'll seek proper treatment to manage her demons rather than numbing it
Wife Began Taking SSRIs and Lied to Me for Months. Care to Advise?
0
2
Add Opinion