My boyfriend of 3 months, kept a secret from me, and I found out through someone else. I feel hurt. Is that normal?

We've been going out for about 3 months and I understand its fairly new, but I can't help but to feel a bit hurt and not trusted with something so big that affects us both. And I found out from someone else he spoke to about it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Good

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Haha. Well thank you for cheering me up for the moment.

    • I am not cheering you, but showing the way...

Most Helpful Girl

  • What about?

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    • I was guilty about doing something while I was with him. And then I found out that he told another girl that he seemed pretty open with for a few months before he knew me, that it might not be going strong. I just dont see why he didn't tell me if he knew that it would help our relationship improve. Sorry for the vague details, but I don't want to get into the nitty gritty details.

    • Oh ok gotcha

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What Guys Said 8

  • If it's really something big I think he might want to be sure of the relationship before telling you. 3 months is still very young. I would tell immediately, but people differ

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    • I understand our relationship is far from being mature with each other, but I think what bother me is why did he tell another girl that he knew for a few months about it. I feel like I'm doubting him and even more questioning myself. He knows the information would only help us move forward in a positive direction.

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    • @shots-shots-shots Thank you so much! Honestly it got me thinking about what you said. Very wise words ;)

    • YW. Oh by the way, Matthew Hussey’s YT personal development videos are fantastic; dude understands male and female psychology. He’s a rare beast.

  • Understandable, but don’t hold it against him as he probs thought it wouldn’t look good in your eyes if he told you about it

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    • I think it would have only improve our relationship even more if he told me and been truthful about it.

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    • No problem, wish you the best of luck and have a great day!

    • Thanks you too and your weekend! Cheers!

  • how bad was the secret i mean like if it was huge it's like a big deal but if it was something little maybe he didn't wanna bother you with it

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    • It was pretty big, it affects our relationship. I've been carrying this guilt internally and if he had just told me, I would have been able to move forward.

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    • Its' okay. hopefully I can touch upon the subject and see how he responds to it. Thank you though! Cheers!

    • you're welcome, hopefully it all goes well

  • Unless it is something like, he used to be a woman, he is wanted by the FBI, or he voted for Hillary Clinton, then why would you care?

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    • Uum because I'm a bit hurt. felt like trash when that he wasn't up front with it. He's the one that talk about trusting me completely. And I was always truthful to him about things and kept it realistic.

    • If it isn't fundamental, like what I listed, then it doesn't matter.

  • Thats pretty normal if its something that can end the relationship or something he really regrets.

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    • I don't think it would ever end our relationship, probably only help us move forward.

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    • Thanks!

    • Not sure if i helped at all but no problem.

  • Its normal we hide things to protect the ones we love

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    • But why? How does that make sense. It doesn't make sense to me, so if you can explain the rational behind it, I can try to understand his perspective.

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    • Just tell me here. I'm autonomous so it really doesn't matter. Lol.

    • Ok so is it ok if you tell me what he hid from you?

  • Maybe it is a kind of secret hard to speak about.

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  • Tell him to tell the truth.

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    • Well I couldn't ask him directly because another person told me in confidence and I wouldn't want to break their trust and add fuel to the fire.

What Girls Said 1

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