How to tell my boyfriend I can’t pay for everything all the time?

So me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for two months. I pay for everything all the time if we are together, like food, cigarettes, uber stuff. He does like me a lot, and so do I. But he’s broke and need to support himself. He is looking for a job, but i don’t think that he will get a job soon, because he’s really busy with his study. I still depend on my parents, and they give me money. The money is enough for wealthy living, but my family is not that rich. For the first month i feel i okay as we didn’t see each other much and I feel like he might be able to pay for me sometimes. But now, I feel like it goes too far, like he starts to ask me to buy cigarettes, like one package per day, and it’s so expensive. He perhaps can’t afford that. I could, but don’t feel like that, because i feel guilty spending my parents’ money unwisely. And I also don’t wanna be the person who pays all the time. I absolutely don’t want to break up with him. How can I tell him that, but not hurt his feelings?

Updates:
Please don’t suggest me to break up, because that’s not going to happen. I really need some good and possible advice. Thanks a lot.
Thanks guys. Our relationship has other issues which is way too complicated to describe. But when we were talking about other issues, he mentioned that he feels guilty for spending my money and has a list of how much he owes me, and he’s planning give me the money when he has the ability. Our relationship is difficult, but i can’t just give up.

0|0
624

Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok you need to nip the habit stright away and say no.
    A. he may not bother with a job at all knowing he can just use your money.
    B. if your parents find out what you are spending it on they may stop giving it to you.

    Honestly that money is yours you should say no and that might get him motivated to get off his ass and if he gets pissy with you well you know why he actually with you.

    2|0
    0|0
    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

Most Helpful Girl

  • You probably have to hurt his feelings. Sit him down and tell him. You aren't a walking ATM, And your parents aren't his bank. If he cannot see that, you should break up with him. Be with somone who values YOU, rather than valuing what you can buy them.

    1|0
    0|1
    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • You can't avoid hurting this dudes feelings. Cash is a very sore topic especially if the guy can't afford to pay for anything. If you are happy to pay for date nighrs and transport etc no issues especially if he is studying. The big issue here is him asking for cigarettes, if can't afford them himself then he can't ask. He is now using you. Im sure he can get himelf a weekend jod or something to at least pay for something. If he isn't going to put some effort in he's not worth your time.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Half of these answers are trolls.. to be brutally honest I think he's either A.) Using you or B.) Doesn't know the value of your money. I used to do the same thing for a girl I liked a lot about a year ago. It ended poorly after about a year of me miserably clinging on to her despite her using me solely for my money and connections. Don't be me. Please. It sucked trying to recover.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You just say it and explain, tell it as a matter of fact (don't see it so personal). Tell him you just can't afford to keep doing it. He should understand (if he's not using you?).

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you

    • There's no need for him to get upset at all, so if he does... I'd question that. Like maybe he's using you. Otherwise it shouldn't be an issue and he should understand.

    • i agree, will do

  • Tell him you can't afford all the expense he need because you got yours. make it clear that he got no job and you understand that but he needs to get one because you feel he is approaching you and you feel that is not fair. Talk sweetly, and give him an estimated time to get a job or there will be consequences.. (like stop inviting him all time or the consequence you prefer)

    0|0
    0|0
    • by the way, you should stop smoking, not good for your body. It would be a shame if you still doing it, you're pretty

  • Open your mouth and say the following to him:

    "I can’t pay for everything all the time"

    There ya go!
    And don't chip out any money. Money ruins things, it doesn't solve things.

    1|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    18

What Girls Said 5

  • Here is the thing. I would suggest saying to him to lift his game, and pay for himself! He is a big boy now! Also tell him that if things don’t improve, you will have to see him less, or break up. But you, him and I know you won’t do that! So it’s a empty threat. Have fun paying for him!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why are you dating a broke guy at the first place?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Sorry rich girl, if the guy is broke atm and is having a difficult period it does not mean that he can't have a girlfriend.

      P. s Sit down and talk, you said that leaving him is not an option so u will have to do this and see what he thinks of you.

    • @kimo994 yes he has the right to have a girlfriend and be a burden to her.

  • I would not pay for cigarettes to be honest

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just be straight up

    0|0
    0|0
  • I understand how difficult this is, and have not had good experience trying to broach the subject in the past. I dont know how to vegun the conversation, but don't let him gaslight you and make you feel guilty for putting your foot down, or let him try to make you feel bad for cutting him off financially.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...