Am I right to be upset about this?

Today I was supposed to see my boyfriend after work
This morning I told my boyfriend that I was sick today so Im not going to work and can't see him today
He called me in the morning to check how I am and told me to go doctors
And then he called me again after work to check how I am
And then he called me in the evening to check up on me again

I really wanted him to check up on me in person..
We live 40mins apart
Am I right to be upset?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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1527

Most Helpful Guys

  • Need more info. Did you tell him you have the plague and your grandma just gave birth to the antichrist and the a/c in your house isn't working?
    Bc if you have the plague then of course he's not coming over. That shit is contagious. Especially with no a/c.

    Actually. Wait.

    You told him you can't see him today. He respected what you told him. I really hope you didn't get angry at him. This poor guy is thinking about you all day and wants you to be well and takes time to check up on you as best as he can based on what you told him.

    As a side note, i was with a girl. Its complicated. She had some stuff going on and couldnt come out. I drove to her house that evening to see her and bring her awesome food and do cool things to make her happy. And i sat outside in my car calling her phone. Texting her. No responses. It was late and i didn't want to wake up anyone else in her house. But i saw light from her room, looked like she was watching tv or something. didn't hear from her until the next day. Anyway after an hour or so i drove away. Heartbroken that i couldnt see her, that i couldnt be there for her.
    Do you know how much that hurts?
    Your boyfriend just wants you to be happy and he's respecting what you told him.

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  • While him dropping by would have been a nice bonus, but you should avoid assuming that largess is no more than your due. That you find him calling you three times to check on how you are doing to be inadequate speaks more to your sense of entitlement than it does to any negligence on his part.

    You may wish to consider that he, too, had things to do with his day. You may wish to consider that a 40 minute drive - 80 minutes round trip - would have been too much considering he had no reason to believe that if you were not well enough to go out, you may not have been well enough to have visitors. You may wish to consider, based on the fact that he called you three times, that had you told him your illness was terminal, he would likely have been at your side in a heartbeat.

    Forgive me, I do not wish to seem harsh, but you need to grow up. Instead of whining about the fact that you boyfriend did not come to see you with your minor illness, consider how many women (and men) did not hear from their s/o's at all. Maybe then you will get some perspective on your - ahem - problems.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • No. Just no. He's being super sweet by calling you 3 times to see how you are feeling. You just said to him that you're not able to see him. So he's following your directions here. If you wanted him to come over you should've said so on the phone. People can't read minds, you know.

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  • You are being unreasonable, he did more than most would. You are too needy, you need to sort that out or it will ruin your relationship and any others in the future.

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    • He did more than most would?
      Some guys will drive to check up on their girl

    • Show All
    • If my boyfriend had a problem with my "demanding" attitude then he wouldve dumped me by now.
      he's a fitness trainer and a physio
      He can get another girl easily but he still chooses to be with me lmao
      Foolish people😂

    • You fools make me laugh 😂😂

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • You yourself told him you wouldn't be able to see him. He's trying to respect your wishes and give you what he thought you asked for which was space so that you could rest while also checking in to show that he really does love and care about you.

    He's doing what he can to both respect what he saw as your wishes based on what you told him and still show you that he loves you. So... yeah I don't wanna seem like a jerk but there's no way in which you are in the right here.

    If you wanted him to check up on you in person, tell him that, because last he heard you weren't gonaa be able to see him cause you were sick. I know you probably didn't mean it that way but that's how I would have immediately interpreted that. Honestly when I was reading the description the first thing I thought was that you were upset with him for bugging you so much while you were feeling under the weather. So... yeah. If you want him to come over and keep you company or come check on you that's well and good. He's not failing to check on you because he lives 40 minutes away, he's not checking in on you in person because you told him not to (even though you didn't mean to).

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  • Half and half. He could have done a better job at it, but he did check on you. If you SPECIFICALLY wanted him to check on you in person, then you need to SPECIFICALLY tell him that. Only a sick, sadistic, evil, twisted, batshit crazy psycho bitch presumes that a man can read her mind. You're not a sick, sadistic, evil, twisted, batshit crazy psycho bitch, right?

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    • you're a prick

    • No, you're obviously a passive-aggressive, neurotic piece of trash who thinks that men must have telepathic powers. Get over yourself and stop wallowing in ego and delusion.

    • Dude. She's sick.
      Don't be a dick.

  • Girls will be upset for any ol' stupid reason. Doesn't make it right. If you were upset all the time I'd tell you to piss up a rope. Likely that's what he's doing.

    YOU NEVER ASKED OR INVITED HIM TO COME SEE YOU! This is YOUR fault.

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  • This sounds like one of those mind reading tests girls give. I am sick I CAN'T SEE YOU TONIGHT. Wouldn't him coming over be him SEEING YOU? If he's allowed to come over than he might as well stay there with you and you can hang out together... hence SEEING EACH OTHER. You told him you can't do that... logic for you can't come over. Oh but you didn't mean it, you really did want him to come over.

    Just plainly say what you mean and what you want. Life is a little easier that way.

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  • If u didn't ask him to come meet you then no u have no right to be upset he did was was reasonable he checked up on u more then once if u wanted him to come to u u should of asked don't expect something and not ask for it then get sad that it don't happen that is childish as most would agree

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  • If you wanted him to come see you, why didn't you just ask him to come see you? He can't read your mind. It's not like he doesn't care. He called you 3 times in one day. I rarely call anyone more than once in a day. There really is no need to be upset.

    I understand if he doesn't contact you and you get disappointed, but you're taking it a bit too far.

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  • He called you three times to see how you were doing and you're upset because he didn't drive 40 mins there and back to check on you in person. That is a complete overreacting if I've ever heard one. 40 mins is a long drive if it's nothing serious.

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  • No. Not right. You should be thankful instead. He has a schedule to follow, still he called you thrice. Whenever he can. You, yourself told him that you cannot see him today, yet you are upset he didn't come to visit? I'm sorry but you are being unreasonable here. If you really wanted him to come visit you in person then you should have asked him directly, yet politely.

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  • Good Lord you told him you couldnt see him and then get upset when he doesn't physically show up? He isn't a mind reader, and you need to grow up.

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  • I would have dropped what i was doing and raced over there. Even if it were possible I would get sick myself. Even if i was at work i would have made up an excuse to leave. So if you needed to see a doctor i could drive and help you get to a pharmacy. I would get sick with my SO. You have the right to be upset.

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  • seems a little childish to want him to drive 40 minutes to see if you are okay then drive 40 minutes back. that is a lot of money and time just to do that.

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  • Not at all. Most or many people when they are sick really want to be left alone to heal. As much as he was checking on you he didn't need to come by. He is giving you your space and privacy.

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  • That was very shitty of you to pretend to be sick so you didn't have to see your boyfriend.

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    • Why the fuck would i pretend to be sick?
      You pathetic shithead
      I love my boyfriend
      If i wasn't upset i wouldn't make this post
      Idiot

    • Pathetic troll

  • No, if you wanted to see him in person you should have asked for it, not expected it. He isn't you and thus can't read your mind.

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  • Sorry for this, but you dont have, by what I have read he really worries about you, and if you want to see him, you must ask to

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  • Your being unreasonable because
    It's 40min distance and again he call you in first place if you want to meet him just ask him he can't read mind

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  • I wouldn't be to upset. But if you feel that he truly should have then just mention it to him. I bet next time your sick he will come see you

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  • No you really should not be upset you made the choice to tell him that you couldn't see him being considerate on not wanting to get him sick as well I'm sure he understood that perfectly ignore these other pricks saying distance Is a thing since he probablywas going to make that trip anyways to see you if you weren't sick. Me however I would have asked myself if you wanted me to take the time to come over and help you feel better make you comfortable and spend my time that I could taking care of you in anyway I could.

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  • you dont have a fatal illness and your not 5

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  • Chill out lady, jeez

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What Girls Said 13

  • I understand your disappointment, however he can't read your mind so he had no way of knowing that you wanted him to come. Just ask him over there is no harm in that. :)

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  • Unfortunately he might just be really busy with work or exhausted from it. As long as he has shown you he cares in other ways in the past I would let this one slide especially since he called you so much to check on you which is really sweet

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  • I think you have no right to complain. He at least checks up on you and cares. If you want to see him in person, tell him. Men don't do 'hints' or 'mind-reading'.

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  • Just tell the guy. men don't di mind reading or hint. you shouldn't be upset and grow up. men work different to woman. men want
    Space. my current boyfriend is busy. I am happy with him. He knows more about me then anyone else. I like my space to. It trust that number one trait in any relationship.

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  • If your just slightly sick, i dont think it was wrong of him not to go out of his way to check on you, especially because you live 40 minutes apart. He checked on you over the phone multiple times and thats good enough

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  • At least he called to see how you were doing, most guys won't even do that much. Just be happy that he clearly cares about you.

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  • I wouldn’t be upset, in fact I’d be touched that he called me so many times to check on me!

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  • I'd do anything for someone to call me to check every few hours... I'd be so grateful. If you wanna see him, tell him come and check on me in person, not expect him to do so.

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  • You don't have the right to be upset with the situation. Although you hope he would, it doesn't mean he will. If you keep hoping and expecting him to do something, you'll just end up disappointed. Just be happy that he texts you. If you are still unhappy and disappointed, you could try telling him that it would make you feel better if he visited you. If he does visit you, it means he cares a lot. He takes the time out of his possibly busy day to come see you. If he doesn't, don't worry. He will have many chances to redeem himself in the future. I'd be worried if he didn't do a single thing to make you feel better, or never comes to see you in person.

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  • No, I'd say being upset here is kind of unreasonable.

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  • No. Don't be silly.

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  • You are right

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  • Girl, you’re sick and he probably has lots of stuff he has to do... I’m sorry he didn’t visit you, but you can’t expect him to drop everything... it would be nice, but it’s not realistic... hope you feel better soon!

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