I met a fantastic guy via online dating. On the outside we are a perfect fit. We’ve met each other’s families and besides this have a great relationship.
However recently I found out that for about 2/3 months whilst dating me (1 month in), he was sleeping with another girl casually. I had spoken to him about where we stood during this time and whilst I understood he had moved down to a new city only four months before and wasn’t sure what he wanted, I was adamant that we should have mutual respect whilst dating and not involve anyone else. He and this girl stopped sleeping together and she met someone else who she moved in with after 3 months.
I can understand that he may have been unsure of what he wanted but towards the end of the year I realised that they were still hanging out. At the time I didn’t know about their past, but I do think that it was just as friends as she was with her new partner and they were moving into together. Also from what I could see from the texts this was the case.
However everytime I asked about her, he assured me that they had dated once and nothing had happened, but stayed friends. It all came out as I had to ask him to show me his phone, because I had a strong gut instinct of what was actually true. He had also referred to me as ‘one of the three’ to his friend as there was at one point another girl.
I understand it is a grey area, but it was completely disrepectful to me as it wasn’t exactly a one off first date. In addition to this he met up his ex from four years ago to discuss things with her as he still had issues he apparently needed to clear up regarding her cheating.
It’s a sad situation because we have the potential to be such an incredible match and he has changed his tune and is trying to fix everything. Sadly I’m just quite proud and it feels quite raw and is just eating me up.
Most Helpful Guy
Move on, if it was something he was embarrassed about from earlier in life and just wasn't talki ng about that is one thing. He was blatantly lying and seeing multiple girls at once intimately and from what your saying feels no remorse and is continuing to do so. I've known guys like that and they know not to send texts about such things, it is common sense. They would mock the girls they are dating behind their back or the girl (s) they are dating and shamelessly with flawless acting pretend innocence and some of the girls involved would even play along because they are shamed into playing along or just don't feel strongly about it.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
Understand your hurt feelings. But after your initial discussion about having respect for your relationship and not seeing anyone else, he complied. He hasn't been with someone else. HE CHOSE YOU! Bad decision on his part is not to stop all comms with this other chick. Tell him that needs to stop and hopefully he will respect that. If he does that, LET IT GO!!! Guys, in the beginning do this all the time, dating multiple girls until they decide on the best for them. I hate it, but it happens all the time. What he has done AFTER CHOOSING YOU is what you need to judge him on. If he keeps contact with that chick still, then that is another issue to tackle. Good Luck!0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE