What do you consider an emotionally abusive relationship?

What do you consider an emotionally abusive relationship?
I know now that abuse is not just about being physical. I just got out of a relationship that, I personally considered, was emotionally abusive. I want to hear what you guys consider as emotional abuse. Have you been through it? What was it like? How did you get out of it? Did you get out of it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Emotional abuse is, for me, if someone is constantly putting you down by belittling you or downplaying your worth. A less recognized case I'd say is also the absence of overt emotion (or the presence of faked emotion) in a respected/significant other. Especially if you want to show your emotion but a respected/significant other doesn't approve.
    It's rough to go through it as a child because you don't really realize that something's wrong until later in life. Then you gotta go through all the "fun" hoops of therapy and whatnot depending on the severity/duration of the abuse.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I consider an emotionally abusive relationship as someone who doesn't believe you're entitled to having your own opinion or speech and someone who keeps hurting you mentally and emotionally, making you think you have no choice but to stay with them. The abuser usually makes their partner feel insignificant and weak, and someone to order around and make the relationship feel more like an ownership rather than 2 constructive people being together. Also abusers will try to manipulate the victim's feelings by doing things like guilt tripping them, threatening them, making them think they have no other options, etc

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What Guys Said 18

  • I can't cover all possibilities, but feeling like an emotional wreck all the time, dreading being around your partner, being insulted and berated by your partner to the point you have no self-confidence.

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  • Emotional abuse is one of the most overused terms you hear these days. A simple argument can lead to claims of emotional abuse. For emotional abuse to be real it has to be reasonably brutal, degrading, insulting or something severe and fairly constant and not the wishy-washy crap that a lot of people come out with these days.

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  • Emotional abuse is when your partner puts you down makes you feel worthless , always says negative things , makes you feel like you aren't good enough, the second you walk away they start loving you again theybwith hold sex from you until you do something for them , you are never a priority , best thong to do is run away

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  • a relationship where one person is emotionally abusive to the other

    like being mean all the time in whatever way that would be,

    or just not being positive to the other person

    if that were to happen to me, the other person should resolve the issue and make things better, it or I'm out.

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  • The main thing I believe most people need to be aware of when it comes to spoting an abuser is that these people always have an excuse for their behavior.
    They're never truly sorry, because in their heads they did nothing worng and will try their hardest to make you feel bad for THEIR fuckup.
    Stay away from victim-minded people.
    You want someone you can trust to not be abusive? Be with someome that takes personal responsibility seriously.

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  • When you are in an emotionally abusive relationship depends on how you experience it. Thats for everybody different. And it can be anything. Yelling, cursing and swearing, but also manipulating, putting responsibilities on you that are not your responsibilities or putting pressure. If you wanna talk about it, im open for it

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  • It's hell in home, work, streets... Pretty much everywhere, since you never recover as the abuse continues and it just turns into your environment, more than something that stays at home... It goes with you everywhere.

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  • Any time someone is regularly and blatantly disregarding the other person's feelings.

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  • Emotional abuse is the baddest thing I have been through. And it took me sometime to get out of it. it wasn't easy at first then I knew that it was better fir me and this is a lesson for me to know what's wrong and whats Wright.

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  • Emotional abuse is a thing.
    saying bad things
    Always putting down
    Feeling ashamed in public
    Constantly making fun of you in front of others.

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  • I think when they show no regard for your feelings, be it by what they do or say, and only care about their own feelings

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  • Yes, I had, the only one I had in fact.
    I went out because I considered it was the best for both and I loved her.
    Yes, I cut with her, for her.
    After I saw I were a bit fool for not doing for myself.

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  • What about person that always needs you because she's not sorted out with herself. It's that constant need for you and when you're not here you become worst person ever. And it's like that every day, you do everything in your power to make her happy and she's just like... Well, you could do that better if you really care for me.
    In the start of the relationship I was funny and happy person, now I'm becoming depressed and my colledge and studying is thaking hit from all of that. And the worst thing... If I break up she's right, I really don't care.

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  • Not caring.. not showing emotional support.. saying or doing things you don't like to hear and they know about it..

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  • Manipulative, bullying , making the guy feel bad for her faults

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  • Man physically abuses girl emotionally abuses

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    • Thats not how it works, both sexes are capable of either

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    • Geez, calm down kiddo

    • Well my question wasn’t “ which sex commits the most emotional abuse”
      My question was strictly behavior

  • Get out of it

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    • I've been out of it lol
      I just wanna hear from other people about their experience

What Girls Said 14

  • They they tell you they'd hurt themselves if you leave them

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  • I had an emotionally abusive relationship although I was abused other ways too; my boyfriend on the daily would make me feel like I’m a terrible person. I’m saving myself for someone but my ex would always say stuff like “why do you have to be such a bįtch about it? Off you love me then you’d do this” or he’d compare me to his ex’s and say how great they were and how I’m just a downer. When I’d feel really upset, I’d tell him how I’m feeling and his response would be “imagine how the Jews felt”
    It was like he could be upset, come to me and tell me about it and I’d comfort him. So he could have feelings but I couldn’t. He always had to be right. I’d have my own opinion but he’d overlook it. It was his way or the highway. If I tried telling him a better way to do something, he’d flip out and tell me how I just always put him down and make him feel dumb when in reality i just wanted to make some things easier.

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    • As a child, I’d gone through some really traumatic experiences which had made me HATE arguing because it scares me to death - which my boyfriend knew about. Well when he’d pick arguments over petty things, he’d grab my arms and say stuff like “do you want me to leave? Because if you carry on doing this, I’ll leave you” and that would be over things like if I never got to his house on time or if I never took my heels off when walking on his wooden floors.
      Now I was 15 when we started dating and he was 19, I had known nothing about relationships since my parents one wasn’t a good example and my mom had awful boyfriends. Well after I’d given him blowjobs and all that, he’d tell me I couldn’t leave him now because I was intimately connected to him, that once I became sexual with him, I couldn’t leave AND I believed it🤦🏼‍♀️

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    • Honestly I could write a book on how to tell if you’re being emotionally abused. I’ve only realised in the past year how he stuffed me up and gave me insecurities. I was in a mentally, physically and sexually abusive relationship for a about a year and a half which was enough time to stuff up a little girls mind. I still have him bugging me to this day!

    • Wow that’s incredible, your soo brave for getting out if that.

  • Playing with someone’s mind, creating scenes, making someone crazy, projecting your own behaviors on other and accusing them of doing so. Accusing people constantly of doing something bad to you... Etc

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  • When I feel like I have to hid my true self or I feel the need to change who I'm to impress someone dear to my heart.

    On another note I would never put up with yelling or screaming. There is no relationship to discuss in there.

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  • I wouldn’t really know. Tbh, I’ve been brought up a family where everyone is just mean for no particular reason. And when they are mad, the words alone are very cut throat. So... I’ve had tough skin since forever 🤷🏾‍♀️ but I’ve been told I’m physically abusive because if I’m dating a guy, I get really rough. But it’s fun for me and I don’t mind being hit back in the same way because it’s playful. But o well. Men these days are wimps.

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  • They think yelling and screaming and/or throwing things is a normal argument.
    They are a fan of the "but the one time I do x" cause. When in fact, they have done it many times.
    They belittle your hobbies, values, friends, and family.
    They give backhanded compliments and when you approach then about it, they call you emotional and invalidate your argument.
    They start arguments just to win them.
    They say there choices are because of their childhood, mental illness, or some evolutionary default that eradicates any sense of personal responsibility.
    They will continue to "try to understand" while obviously causing you distress to the point of fear.
    They try to compare your feelings of fear to their feelings of confusion, anger, hurt, or etc as if they are the same.

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  • Yup, have been trough it. He always critizised and put me down for every tiny mistake I made or every flaw I have, we had lots of fights and he always said that all of them were my fault only because I won't be capeable of relationships in general.
    He broke up with me shortly after taking my virginity... yup, I was a fool.

    No need to mention that I was his very first girlfriend (it only lasted 5 months) and his second one broke up with him after about a half year while he was my shortest one and also the only one with this many fights and tears. But somehow he manipulated me into believing him. Some people are cancer.

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  • Is the type that gets you fellin weak and doubtful about everything you do. The type that gets into you brain and nake you feel less. The type that makes you act clingy becaise it has make you belive that you are shit without that other person.

    Usually there is an asshoke behind all the abuse. A very wicked human being with no intention to feel love only praise by the one been abused.
    Abuser might be charming and all but deep in their skin is just rotten meat. No value.

    If anyone feels is into something like that. I say RUN out of it. DISAPPEAR. GHOST AWAY! . THAT PERSON DOESN'T CARE ABOUY YOU AND WILL MANIPULATE YOU BACK INTO HIS ABUSE. JUST RUN.
    After months and maybe a year you will recover. Find your strength!!

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  • An emotionally abusive relationship comes in many forms. The most common is manipulation.

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  • I have been in a 7 year relationship very abusive. physically. emotional stress. It broke me. I then left him after dumping me 4 times. He said I was provoking him. I’ve had hard anxiety attacks, my baby daddy now is treating me the same way I posted something on my snap in a way that I am. Because I love hard. And almost fall from it every time. I’ve been abused verbal/physically/&mentally I was happy, and now it seems that I’m still broken...

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  • Being restricted from doing things you love with irrational excuses

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  • If he hurts u physically or mentally on purpose

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  • one shit

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  • I was in an emotionally mentally abusive relationship and it really messes a person up. He would talk down to me which is a big thing in emotional abuse but more than anything he was constantly manipulating my emotions. He would take my insecurities and use them against me in order to get what he wants.
    If he ever did something wrong like sexted other girls or lied to me about anything he would always twist it and try to make it my fault that he was doing the things he was doing.
    He would always get angry with me when I didn't share my feelings, but then when ever i tried to share them he would get pissed off at me and blame me for ruining his mood. So whether I was keeping it to myself to avoid a fight or being open about my feelings I was always in trouble and was getting yelled at.
    EVERY time we got in a fight he would storm out and be out all night usually till the next morning and the very few times I ever said I needed to leave he would always say I couldn't and that if I was going to leave then I would have to break up with him.
    If I ever did anything where I was genuinely in the wrong he admitted that he would purposely bring it up and use it against me to make me feel bad because he said "you never do anything wrong so when you do it makes me feel better about myself" (he admits I was hardly ever in the wrong yet still always blamed me for all his bad choices and lying and cheating).
    So glad I left him. The only reason I stayed with him so long was because I kept hoping we could work it out for our son. I realized he would never change and I didn't want my son to grown up thinking that's how anyone should be treated or how love should look.

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