Dating a 21 year old guy who I keep catching checking other girls out, what should I do?

So basically im dating my boyfriend of 1 year who i trust but he has only had one girlfriend before me who he lost his virginity to and hasn't slept with anyone else after her except for me. I catch him checking out other girls a lot and im considering leaving him because i feel like he needs to go just sleep around and get it out of his system so he can just focus on me. He tells me he doesn't want me to do that, and he just wants me, but i dont believe him. What do you think?
Updates:
Would dating an older guy help?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Agree with many posts on here. Very disrespectful to stare at other girls when he is with you. If the odd automatic glance then not too bad. An older guy would appreciate you a lot more but depends on the guy. I kind of try and protect , teach and totally adore a younger girfriend. Some older guys could get a bit power crazed though and see a younger girl as a their personal plaything and not serious long term.

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    • Thank you.

    • Thank you. A lot of guys on here seem to believe that its out of their control, which is total BS because you control where you eyes go and what you think about

    • True. I purposefully make sure I don't even look in the direction of any other women when I am out with a girl. Not, just to show respect, but I ain't stupid. Every single girl I have been out with stares at my eyes every time another girl walks past. lol So fabulously competitive

Most Helpful Girls

  • I had the same problem :) I expressed my feelings towards him looking at other girls and he stopped, you are not over thinking, if he’s dating you he should be respecting you 24/7! There is no need to be looking at other girls when he has a perfect girl right in front of him :)

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    • you're so sweet. Thanks for the advice. I have expressed how i feel and i still caught him looking at other girls. It hurts because i know he isn't doing it to hurt me but he seems to not care enough to stop himself.

  • Guys do look at other girls I work in a male environment and can truly say some of them can be in marriages for years and still be looking at them.
    I know it sucks but in all honesty 9/10 they will come back to the girlfriend and wife’s it’s just sadly how there brain works x

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 31

  • I don't know his age compared to yours so I can't really say anything about your possible age gap, but what I can say is that looking is just one thing. It is possible to look at an attractive person and not get aroused. I am sure you have seen a super hot guy and looked at him for longer than you'd like to admit, but you didn't get turned on or want to go approach him. Beauty is beauty and there is nothing wrong with admiring it. Whether it is a painting in a store, a sunset over an ocean, or a girl in the checkout line. If he does not have a boner, then there is nothing to worry about.

    Now, if he is doing this with every girl who walks by and looks like a dog looking out the front window who wants to go outside to chase the squirrel on the lawn, then you got a problem. Or if you notice a tent in his pants and he is licking his lips and eyeing her up and down, that is another problem. If you don't notice him doing any of that, you got nothing to worry about. Especially if he says he wants only you

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  • Virtually all guys are going to check out other girls. That's part of being male (and hetero). If he's just looking, it's harmless. If he's talking to them, that's something else entirely.

    There's an old saying about men looking at other women even when they're married: "I'm married, not DEAD." Guys are going to look.

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    • Just do it inconspicuously.
      Sorry but really looking and I mean head turning eye balling can make your partner feel invisible.
      My husband did it while we were on a date our first since I'd had our 2nd baby and it made me feel like crap.

  • if he is like staring at a girl's ass and like turning he's head just to keep staring that looks really bad on him I mean he can stare at your ass or boobs all day if let him do it hahaha. you guys have been together for one 1 year now, he should have eyes for you and you only. try to talk to him about it more. dating an older guy could help, maybe at he's age he feels a bit cocky and he wants to be a fuckboy.

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  • It's called testosterone... men will always look. Always. It doesn't mean he's cheating. It doesn't mean he wants to fuck everyone he sees. Stop seeing it as a personal attack on you...

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    • The thing is that they shouldn't look. Its disrespectful and sends the signal he’d rather be with them than with you. I already know im much more attractive than my partner so he doesn't even have the right to look at anyone else, like seriously

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    • Thanks for the feedback guys. I just thought there was a possibility i could find a man who didn't want to look at other women. I work so hard to look as good as i possibly can and it just hurts that he still feels the need to look at other women, even ones much less attractive than i am

    • If you continue to treat the issue like it's his problem not yours, you will never find one. If you keep smelling shit you need to check your own shoe first.

  • You're going to self sabotage your relationship with your insecurities. We're going to notice pretty girls around the place. You can check out hot guys too. It's human nature. Unless he starts being less available to see you I wouldn't worry. It's just a passing glance to appreciate beauty.

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  • My personal opinion, if he was all about you'd, he'd be subconscious about NOT checking out other girls. I myself find it very rude to look at another woman when mine is next to me. Let alone doing it alone.

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  • Well most men particularly when they are younger check out girls it is kinda instinctual and it does t in itself mean anything
    It depends a bit on what sort of checking out we are talking about though...
    If it just a quick glance up and down and done it is nothing couple minutes later he will have forgotten the girl again
    If we are talking sitting around staring intently at other women then maybe there is a problem.

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  • All guys check out other guys, it's quite literally our biology
    Perhaps he needs to be more discreet about it but he's not going to break up with you or cheat on you over it

    If he looks at some womans pair of tits he's going to completely forget that pair of tits 2 minutes later

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  • No. I'm a guy and "sleeping around" to get it out of our system doesn't work. Trust him, he doesn't want anyone else. It's nature for a guy like him to check out a lot of girls, I mean I do it too. Sleeping around with other girls too might just makes him feel as though sex is meaningless and therefore doesn't matter, which matters later in life more than you might think.

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  • What? No. NO! NOOOOOOOO! It's normal for everyone to look at people they find attractive.

    And dating an older guy won't change anything. Age has nothing to do with it. He had made it clear he wants to be only with you. Don't throw away a good thing for something so minor.

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  • All guys want sex all the time with everyone. It's just a natural reaction. Biologicaly speaking no one woman will ever be enough. From an intellectual point of view he may respect you enough not to sleep around but the impulse will always be there. The only cure of there is one is for you to wear him our through sex. It still won't stop him thinking about sex though

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  • Accept that he is 21 and a male. Its normal. Clearly he finds you boring.

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    • He does not find me boring. In fact, he has admitted to me that my appearance was perfect in his eyes and thats what drew him in at first. Thats why if confuses me why he would look at other women when im a 10/10

    • You sound insecure as fuck.

  • What do you mean "checking out other girls" ? Does he not pay attention to you when you are with him?

    And no, dating an older guy wouldn't help.

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    • He does pay attention to me but for example, while on vacation im mexico, i was talking with my family, and instead of him joining in on a conversation, i just saw him staring at this one girl walking into the pool. He kept staring for a solid 3 minutes at least

    • Three minutes? Really? That's a long time. Even a full minute would have been a long time. Tell him how you felt when he did that.

      "Hey, when that girl walked by you left the conversation to stare at her. You're human, I don't expect you to not notice, but when you stared at her I felt... and..."

  • Dont date a guy based on age. Date someone bases on their morals and heart. If this guy is doing this to you, drop him like a hot rock and leave him in the past.

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  • Get someone who has eyes mostly for you. Its in our nature to look at everyone. Females as potential mates and other males as threats. Its biological and a reflex, not intentional.

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  • You can check other guys out see how he likes it 😂

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  • All guys look at other females but if he us only looking let it be as I say you can look at the menu just don't order

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  • No, it’s just a guys nature to check out girls and see what there is, we may like hoe other girls look and we appreciate their beauty , but he will stay with you because he wants you

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  • Get the he'll out of that shit. Red flags. He is ready to pounce and fuck who wants to give it up

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  • All guys check out other girls, this guy is just bad at it

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What Girls Said 10

  • Your over thinking it. You enjoy "eye candy" dont you? Dont judge him for looking if he's not making moves then you have nothing to worry about.

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    • I dont look at any guys while in a relationship, in fact i hardly find any other guys attractive. I think its disrespectful to do it while you're with each other. I can't control what he does when im not around. You know what i mean?

  • 21 yr old guys don't know what they want. If he is checking other girls out he must not be satisfied with you and is looking for a better offer. Because if he was really into you he wouldn't be looking elsewhere for sure. I would therefore guess that he is not in love with you, but maybe for the sex?

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  • I was concerned to but then I remember I look at guys to and admire them but I won't cheat on my boyfriend. Its just that I won't ever let him catch me when am with him. I only do this when am on the road alone.

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  • Miss information here. What age u have? And yes, maybe he will want experience another, but if he loves y he will not do nothing. Just talk to him openly and say u feel uncomfortable he see another girls... I dont know what you mean with checking out girls because he is a guy will always look to womans, and that dont mean he dont love u or will cheat on u

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  • Who cares where he gets his appetite if he only comes to you to get fed?

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  • Thank You

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    • Im glad someone agrees with me

  • DUMP HIM

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  • Dump him. He doesn't respect you.

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  • Poke his eyes

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  • It depends if he's doing this all the time and making it obvious in front of you... if he's done this maybe once or twice then it's normal.

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