My girlfriends social media bothers me, what should I do?

She has a ton of guys telling her she’s beautiful and trying to follow her/ DM. She has a lengthy sexual history and she’s literally always on her phone. I’m not going to tell her to delete it but it’s reallt starting to bother me.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • A female with a social media account is going to have dudes creeping on her. That's just a fact of life.
    Unless she's specifically doing something to encourage this reaction, stop worrying about it. Feelings of jealousy are born out of feelings of inadequacy. Be confident. She's not going to go around banging these dudes. They're literally just the internet equivalent of dudes whistling at a girl on the street.
    Is it ok? Hell no it's creepy and embarrassing. But sadly it just comes with being a female in this day and age.

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    • We’ll I feel inadequate for legitimate reasons. She never cheated but she did break up with me, got with a lot of other men, and now I’m back with her. I’m thinking about breaking up because I don’t like who I’m turning into. Just turning into this insecure guy and that’s not me.

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    • It’s been 7 months. Gone to therapy and everything. I’m really trying to work through it.

    • Why? If you're unhappy, why keep trying? If she's turning you into someone you don't like, get away from her.

  • my ex would complain about me doing this and I was always loyal. I had pictures of us up and that I was taken I told him I couldn’t help it if random guys messaged me i always always would tell them to fuck off and block them. I was on my phone a lot because I don't know I just liked reading and watching videos on social media. Most times he’d be playing video games or on his own phone so it made no sense. Just ask her why she’s always on it and it bothers you if she cares about you she’ll come to a compromise but don’t overreact right away or accuse

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Most Helpful Guys

  • i can understand this. if these guys advances were entirely unsolicited it would be a lesser problem but it makes you wonder who exactly is in her social strata. are these real friends, legit acquaintances or just legions of male admirers who she really shouldn't have any connection with.

    i feel like you should talk to her about it. tell it makes you feel uncomfortable. ask if these are real friends or just admirers from before knowing you and then suggest that maybe since you are in a relationship she sort of change her social media presence.

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  • Clearly its bothering you because she's not giving you enough attention that you have start caring about what she's doing and to me it sounds like she's treating you like a side-bitch. I'd speak to her about it and if she doesn't like it one bit, do the right thing and dump her because the one who is feeling insecure is you and meanwhile she's exploring her options with other men. If i was dating a girl and had lots of messages from other girls, i'd be trying to stop that. I've even deleted a girl friend who took interest in my relationships as i valued my girlfriend over a friend, no one is coming in between us and i'd never let my girlfriend feel the way you are feeling.

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What Girls Said 28

  • I think that it's not within the girl's control when guys message her, comment and like her pictures, but the key is: Does she like their comments? Does she reply to their messages? Does she "friend" them?

    First of all, a girl with a lengthy sexual history and is always on her phone isn't a good sign. Two things (but not limited to two) I see here is that she changes partners easily and her need for attention is probably fidgeting, not stable and never satisfied. The other is that she might give more attention to her phone, if she's on her phone a lot of the time when she's with you.

    I think you could try commenting on her posts, liking them, and compliment on her once in a while (so it doesn't seem fake and cliched) but if she's craving for other guys' attention, then she's just not satisfied with what she has and can get, so I would suggest sitting down with her and talk to her about it.

    I personally don't bother how many likes I get and compliments I get from other guys. All I need is that one person's like and compliment, that'd be enough and meaningful to me, and that's my boyfriend's...

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  • Tell her you feel like she spends too much time on her phone around you, I wouldn’t worry about the compliments and messages unless she’s responding to them. I get them too but I usually ignore them, my boyfriend actually tells me to entertain them because it’s funny. If she is talking to them, posting revealing photos etc tell her you’re uncomfortable with it and ask her to stop.

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  • Have a calm discussion with her about it, and explain how you feel/how it makes you feel. If she loves you, your feelings will matter to her. But until you tell her, how would she know how it is impacting you?

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  • I'm a woman and when I'm not getting the attention or affection from the man I'm with, I can only take so much and then I start looking elsewhere. If you are however, giving her attention and affection then she's just an attention whore and can't be trusted. Just my 2 cents.

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  • It probably feels like shit that she has so many guys hitting on her while she's with you but it's honestly her choice if she acts on it or not. She's in a relationship with YOU, not them. If she's really committed she won't let them do anything.

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    • She's not in a relationship with him, she's in a relationship with them too. Any emotional or sexual energy going elsewhere means something is chipped away from the real relationship. If she is always on her phone, then it means her attention, emotion and energy are not with him. He is not in a relationship with her at all.

    • @Truthatanycost That is true, but she agreed to a relationship with him. And if she isn't going to pay any attention to him and give her time to random men online then she isn't really worth it.

  • Just talk to to he, i think she likes a little bit the attention or else she would make hee account private if it bothered her (its om instagram right?) So yeah you should tell her and if she does not do anything to change the situation then it will be time for some drastic decision.

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  • As long as she ignores the messages I don’t see the problem. But talk to her like a grownup about what’s bothering you. Don’t go asking strangers online. Jeez.

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  • If it bothers you that much then say something. But if you trust her it shouldn’t be an issue. My dude told me he didn’t like it and I just deleted my account

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  • well it depends how much she is into you
    if she still loves you then i think you shouldn't be bothered
    and the best solution is to talk to her about it and see how it goes

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    • Has nothing to do with love, simply natural response of jealousy. For instance... we are sitting somewhere eating dinner... and as you are asking me about my day I just happen to look right over to the left and with an almost shocking gaze just happen to follow the most beautiful ass walking past our table...(blah blah blah) me: What did you say? ... You: How da... The girl is walking right back to OUR table...[Holy Shit... I wish my friend was here to see this] Her: Hi, YOU are So HOT! Me: THANKS! Her: You Wanna Fuck? Me: Ummm sure, the line is outside... get your resume out... c ya. Now back to dinner! Me: Hey, so how was your day?

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  • don't tell her to delete it but tell her it bothers you and see if she will tone it down out of respect for your feelings

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  • She sounds like she cares more about social media than she does about you.

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  • Communicate. If you can't trust her, don't be with her.

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  • I'd be proud if I were you, clearly, you have a catch. As long as she's not responding hyper sexually or flirtatiously, just let it be.

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  • Just be honest with her and try using “I” statements. Like “i feel uncomfortable with all the guys hitting on you.”

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  • same thing happens to me but i usually ignore everyone unless they actually are decent human beings lol

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  • Just break up. She doesn't sound like a girl you need. You really want this person in your life to waste your youth?

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    • What? All you know about her is that she’s a lot on her phone and has had many sexual relationship? How could you possible determine anything from that?

      Also, “doesn’t sound like the girl you need”? How well do you know this guy? Must know him pretty well to know better than himself of what he “needs” in life

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    • If someone is too busy staying on their phone indtead of having fun or comunicate with their person they supose they love , than is not someone you should date and done. Go and write your own opinions

    • I really dont know why you're upset, I'm just trying to understand that reasoning. Also how do we know that's necessarily true? This guy admitted he was jealous/Insecure and jealousy doesn't come from a place of reason.
      I notice you're young like I am. I bet you use your phone frequently, your gag score also supports that thought process I dont know about you but if I look st my phone for 10 minutes my parents are convinced I spend every second on my phone and never leave the house to socialize. When in reality I spend a lot of time socializing with my friends, reading articles, listening to music, and doing a lot of other interesting things on my phone. So maybe her hobbies are on her phone? What if her phone is where she's having fun? But the OP overreacts to his girlfriend being on her phone, the same way our parents might, because they ASSUME we're doing things that they dont like. He never said she wasn't interacting and he's jealous so his statements could be swayed for negativity.

  • That's normal for a girl to have thirsty dudes leaving comments and trying to talk to her, but you can ask her to tone it down a bit

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    • I don't know where you live but that is far from normal, the decent girls i know dont have guys regualrly messaging them and they never actually accept any messages from strangers and dont have any guys commenting on their pics besides close friends and family and its never flirty...

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    • yeah especially when iam the kind of guy whose looking for only one girl and is loyal as one can be, but turns out life never works out the way you want it to, so instead of finding decet loyal girlfriend material girls i've been stumbling upon taken girls that wanna cheat on their boyfriend with me... i usually find out and stop talking to them before anything physical happens but still... they dont seem to mind at all to cheat behind their bfs back, i met decent girls but they are far and few intbetween and usually taken from a young age.

    • The dating pool is small that's true if you want to find someone for a LTR and don't look for casual sex

  • Does she have on her profile that she has a bf? and does she have pictures of you and with you up?

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  • Don’t be insecure, she’s with you for a reason. She chose you.

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    • That's irrelevent these days. People cheat and stay with their partners for stability not love.

  • Lol she would've been dead... i would have just broke up with her she obviously don't take your relationship seriously

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What Guys Said 41

  • Mannn I don't wanna assume anything, but it sounds like she craves the attention she gets, which means the attention you give her isn't enough. Sure it could be rooted in insecurity, but I don't know those are some murky waters. It would definitely bother me too. Does she have you guys in a relationship? Does she ever post pictures of you two together?

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  • Bro, GIRLS WILL ALWAYS RECEIVE MORE ATTENTION. Remember... YOU are the one getting laid... right now. If her behavior bothers you... then perhaps you are simply being realistic... its OK. Virtual world is indistinguishable to your brain from the real one and if there were actually 100's of guys standing right outside of your girlfriend's window screaming in unison How abouuuutt some dick? Girls are even more jealous than guys are... remember YOU dont have to be the one getting pregnant.

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  • "She has a lengthy sexual history and she’s literally always on her phone."

    You know the issue with her *always* being on her phone is truly bothersome and valid grounds for breaking up with her (it's similar to guys with video game addictions). Now combine that with her lengthy sexual history and that is a definite recipe for a potential disaster, where I call it a bad sign (or as some say "red flag").

    If I were you, I'd break up with her and find a real WOMAN. She's not good.

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  • Lol quit while you can man... this girl is more technoslut than woman... she is accustomed to a large amount of male attention, like a drug addict. I wonder what she'll do to meet that quota once the bikini likes stop flowing... also girls with lengthy sexual histories are likely to cheat with exes

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  • Nothing. Keep you mouth shut. You are jealous and that is your problem, not hers. You really want to self analyze what kind of person you are and rethink why you feel someone's else's life is your business.

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  • What's her username?😂 just kidding bruh well it's okay till only guys gives her attention n compliments if she's not doing the same then it's fine if she is... Drop her for her social life matters more than her relationship

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  • All the warning signs are here:
    -Lengthy sexual history
    -All over social media (she's probably got lots of sexy selfies of herself on there)
    -Addicted to her phone
    -getting attention and chatting to loads of guys online.

    Dude your dating a THOT, an attention whore who is addicted to social media and probably has the attention span of a goldfish. Your relationship is doomed, she will get bored of you soon, and it you pressure her to delete her accounts she will feel trapped and smothered in the relationship and probably break up with you. This girl is practically unable to settle and be monogamous with one person. It's a matter of time before she breaks up with you or cheats on you.

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  • Is she sexting / flirting with other men? If so, either go the "hot wife" route and share her and get off on it or dump the slut.

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  • Talk with her about it, say hey I do not appreciate all the attention you're receiving online. Talk to her about blocking people or toning down her profile.

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  • Don't take it personally. She's addicted to social media. She needs help.

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  • Just get a paternity test if the two of you have a baby...

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  • Tell her about it and have a good conversation. Just keep it neutral.

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  • Man up and deal with it, it ain't your job managing her social life

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  • thats why you dont date sluts or girls who sleep around , we have been saying for ages but no one listens

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  • She's used goods man. You don't want a plate everyone else has eaten out of

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  • The best thing you can do for yourself is to resolve whatever insecurities you have in yourself, give her a good experience by being her guy and focus on being a quality dude. Because your girl getting hit on will NEVER stop. Even without social media this would be going on over text/call/in person when you're not around or even in front of your face if the guy is bold enough. You just have to accept that's going to happen. You don't have to like it, but you get to decide how you're going to respond to it.

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  • If u r in a real relationship just talk to her and ask her 4 help dude. (That what, both of u can do to remedy that)

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  • Tell her to fix it and insist she doesn't use her phone as much. Be upfront. Won't get her to change her mind otherwise.

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  • Have a bet with her that she has to stay off social media for a month if she doesn't break up with her.

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  • She's screwing a bunch of guys and you're seeing more trying to get in on it on her social media. She sounds like a cam girl, or a girl who sends nudes and pleasures dudes on snapchat for money. One thing's for sure: if she tried to make herself seem even slightly respectable guys wouldn't try to invade her space on social media, but she still can't hide the 100,000+ posts on her snapchat. Regardless, its obvious that she talks to a lot of guys who have absolutely no respect for her and feel like it's okay to treat her social media page like it's a waiting room.

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