Has being cheated on, effected you in other relationships?

has it?

Or have you moved past it?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 64

  • Yes it most definitely has. I think because of it and other reasons I've never cheated on anyone I've been with I would never introduced that kind of pain into another human being's life is the lowest thing one human being who says they love their significant other can do to that person. Sure I've been tempted but being able 2 rise above those urges and continue to behave honorably is what separates us form animals

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    • 4d

      I feel the same way. I would never want anyone to feel that way, no matter what. I would give them the dignity and respect of finishing the relationship before going off to find something. And of course, there is temptation all around us, but as you say, you have to rise above it and choose what it is you need to do!

  • I have been cheated on several times. I made a point never to let it change who I am. Always trust until something comes up. But I still gave the benefit of the doubt.
    Nowadays it’s easy to spy on someone. It can lead to more damages to the relationship.
    I never really moved past the furor of having been cheated on. But that’s just me

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  • Nope. Because, my theory on cheating is that the "victim"... usually is the one who cheated first... about 90% of the time.
    I didn't slip on my game, so there was no reason for my girl to go looking outside. So if someone's partner is given a reason to go outside, then they fucked up, not their partner.
    I was ghosted once though... didn't believe it. took me 6 months to get over it. but other than that, no bad experiences here.

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    • 6d

      yeah, I don't agree with that. But if thats how you feel, good on you man

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    • 5d

      @silverqueen hahahaha silver queen, you have a silver tongue. but when you wanna come down to reality.. you know where to reach me... and i'll show you the Diesel system. or i can do it right now... if you ain't chicken.

    • 5d

      I’m good here on planet earth. But thank you.

  • When your in love with the right person you give them all the trust. I am not worried so much that my next partner will cheat. I simply tell them if you want an open relationship I am not the one for you. Any relationship regardless of how crap it is should have adult conversations to lay your barriers.

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  • Yes it has. Made me a bit suspicious at times and more aware of certain signs. Unfortunately for me, they normally turned out to be correct and I'd dump every one of them.

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    • 4d

      I like to believe there are still better people out there. they just happen to be hard to find.

    • 4d

      Well it's not my problem anymore. Quit dating. Now I can focus on starting a new career

    • 4d

      But that shouldn't stop you though. Garunteed there would be someone who'd love to have you

  • 3 times... it still effects relationships as I have it in my mind everyday. I feel worthless because of it and I try to keep it out but it's there.

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    • 5d

      Really sorry to hear your feeling that way.. 🙁 you shouldn’t have to feel like that at all..

    • 4d

      Women can be shitty, but don't loose hope. Not all women are the same, some value relationships like myself.

    • 2d

      In real life both men and women are the cause of breakups and how people treat others. If we were all nice, things could be different

  • partly yes but I have stepped back and focused on treating whoever i end up with as a new fresh thing, so no matter what I never judge them on what any past ex did, only the actions of who i'd be with at that moment would matter

    so if she cheated or lied it would be her own actions which would be the issue and nothing anyone else did before her could add to that

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  • a lot, I never really blamed the person for doing it, humans have "needs" specific to them and sometimes guys psyche themselves out, but I wasn't really able to trust then and that kinda serves as a "I knew I wasn't wrong to act this way, type of thing." It's terrible because I feel in my heart what i say is real but, I also feel I lie, because how can you love someone you don't trust, its like loving what they could be, but not them :(

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    • 4d

      My boyfriend told me that I am the first woman that he's ever met that he has truly trusted. So, there are people that are there for you and will work for you, you just have to keep looking.

  • I moved past it as it was fairly early on. I'm pretty non-possessive so it wasn't the cheating that sucked in that case so much as finding out/getting dumped :P

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  • Indeed. It cause trust issues which has been rather unplessant for further relationship. But since then I have moved on, it is usually a temporary issue untill ye find a petter mate.

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  • Yeah it definitely has. My wife has never done anything to even hint that she would maybe consider cheating on me but because of what my ex did I still sometimes freak out and worry. Thankfully she is amazing and didn't just leave me the first time it happened. We have been together 5 years now though and it's been about 2 years since I last freaked out so it gets better eventually

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  • It affected me at taking a good look at myself and what I value in a relationship. Also, what to look for in who I want to be in a relationship with. I'm very careful how much of myself I put forth until I'm for sure trusting of that person. Even so, there's only so much you can know about a person. Whatever goes on in their minds, you can never know. I've come to the conclusion, to do your best to make the other person happy, if that doesn't work, they aren't the right person for you is all. Also, I know humans are humans and it's not always because someone wanted to hurt you is why they cheated on you. Yes it hurts and I would have rather they tell me what's the problem, but sometimes it's easier to be the problem than discuss the problem.

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  • Definitely. Ever since I was cheated on (and it didn't help that my first relationship was abusive) I've had trust issues and kept getting paranoid-like thoughts of "she's cheating on me" and despite trying to tell myself that's an irrational fear, it just keeps coming up in my mind that when I love someone they're bound to betray me eventually, to make things worse, my last ex wasn't an open person so talking to her only made her make me feel guilty, and asking her to just be a bit more affectionate when talking instead of sounding bored and uninterested never worked, so I was perpetually scared that she'd cheat on me which only made my trust issues even worse

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  • Not really... if anything it has helped. I know what sign to look for or notice it before it actually happens because of the past experience and what built up to it.

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  • Yes somehow it makes your behaviour and thinking changed to the others but im really working hard on it

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  • it has made me more cautious and at times skeptical but not to a point that it would hurt a relationship.

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  • Yeah I got cheated on by quite a few girls and in my current relationship I try not to let it bother me. Because my current is not any of those girls. It feels nice to trust someone for once.

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  • I know people that have been cheated on , they stayed single for a long while.

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  • I haven't been able to be intimate with anyone I truly care about. I don't know, I just get really panicky. Not foreplay, but if I'm being touched I don't like it...

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    • 4d

      Its alright, it does happen. Take your time. Why do you think that is?

    • 4d

      Because maybe I'm afraid of being that intimate and getting hurt. I want love, not to be used, or just be an object. I do, I've had a lot of girls lie and cheat on me too, which is annoying, but it happens. They just saw better options I guess. But its hard to because, what if thats all they want.

  • Not really. But I still have that kinda feeling which may go the other way. Hoping the best forever.

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What Girls Said 41

  • I’ve never been cheated on but I’ve got involved with guys years apart and I see how the games goes for some. I am more aware when I’m dating now and instead of being bitter I take it as a lesson to not make that same mistake which is not reading the “red flags”.

    The same red flags we ignore in the beginning will be the same reason why it ended. I think about all the moments I would have been cheated on if I didn’t make the decision to walk away in the beginning. It’s the simplest situations.

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  • It has not. I still don't have commitment or trust issues (which might be kinda naive). I see it as more of one shitty person making a stupid decision rather than fearing it would happen to me again.

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    • 6d

      That's not naive. That's how it should be. Others shouldn't pay for our ex's mistakes.

  • We agreed to disagree that it was cheating due him always making sure 'we were on a break' before sticking it elsewhere but I would say that it has made me extremely skeptical when anyone has said they like me in anyway because I just feel it will be the same as in they will always be looking for for something someone else other than me.

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  • I’ve moved past it, as did my partner (he was cheated on by an ex) but we are both acutely aware of how it feels and we would never do it.

    At time time it made me feel worthless, unattractive, disgusting and unloved. Now it shows me that my ex was a coward and the emotion empathy of a stone. So in a way I’m happy. It gave me and my partner a connection of trust that we would never break

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  • I never allow a betrayal to affect future relationships. That's like
    punishing yourself from someone else's wrongdoing

    If I'm betrayed, I accept my trust was misplaced in the person that betrayed me, and I move on with my life without it impacting on future relationships.

    I don't judge people's standards or lack of loyalty by other people's standards . That would be unfair to them.

    Trust needs to be earned , but I judge a person by their character, not someone else's.
    Betrayal is extremely painful, but people need to be strong enough to not allow it consume them to the point that they can't have happy fulfilling relationships with other people.

    I don't have trust issues, but my trust needs to be earned. It's naive to give it freely. But foundation of my trust is based on people's individual character

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  • I have been cheated on twice in past. I dumped one of them. My relationships with girls are not great at all. One girl decided to threaten me just because I was in my first relationship. I told my mum about her. My last asshole ex boyfriend was the worst. I caught him and dumped him right away. He did get pissed. He only blame me for his short comings. When sport day came I beat him in dancing and running. I am quite around girls. My relationships with guys has be good.

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  • I hate admitting it but I just can't seem to believe people anymore I try to but my mind just finds another reason to assume they are lying, I'm working on it.

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  • Luckily if I have been cheated on, I don't know about it. I imagine I would develop some trust issues if it ever did happen.

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  • I think that I accept that I cannot make someone be faithful. I can only hope that they don't. So when it happens I just walk away, that's all I can do. :(

    I learnt not to get too close or love unconditionally. The last ex took advantage of it.

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  • If I was cheated on, I wouldn’t know because I never spied on my boyfriends in the past 🤔

    Now, if I had been cheated on, I think at first I would care. As time goes by, I’ll forget about the situation. Although, I’d definitely be cautious the future relationships.

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  • Yeah. Got cheated on once and i kind of started to build a protection wall on myself.. I’ve grown and learned enough to move past it though and currently in a happier relationship. ☺️

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  • It put me in a place where I didn't want a relationship so I just dated to have fun. But my heart fell for my man now and my ex cheating on me was my ex. I fully trust my man now.

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  • I never changed who I am because of bad people acts

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  • Oh yes... in relationship, we girls know what's true and what's not... because, inside us, his words go *clunk*... it took months to get a marriage partner to fess up... and so, now, when I know I walk.

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  • I've moved past it. It probably has effected the way I date though. I'm less likely to trust someone, but I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, unless they prove other wise.

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  • Yes, it is something that you never actually move past. You just get with a new person and hope he is not the same.

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  • Absolutely has for me. Unfortunately it’s happened more than once so that’s likely why it’s effected me.

    I find it very hard to trust future partners

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  • Yes... when my ex, ex, cheated on me I built a wall on love and developing feelings for another guy... And I developed major trust issues

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  • I haven’t been cheated on. But if someone would have, the best way is to move on. No need to waste any time.

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  • I haven't been cheated on, but I would think that I would be paranoid about it in the future

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