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I'm sorry for your past and for your mom's inability to be strong during that time period.
I understand how that affects a child for life. But the key is to try to forget and forgive for you not them.
My mom and dad were serving in the Marine Corps and my mom was rapped a few times during her stint in and was so depressed that she neglected me severely so did my dad.
I was abused badly as a child not by them but by who I thought was my grandpa.
My mom was a raging alcoholic who often ran my dad off which looking back he should've been a real dad back then.
She has told me things that happened to her as a kid and a marine and while its so sad and part bullshit for her not being there for me I forgave my parents.
Hopefully you and your mom can move forward with your relationship. I wish you both well in doing that.