Can men and women just be friends, generally speaking?

  • Yes.
    Vote A
  • No.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes its possible but a lot of people are thirsty and lonely and will relationship/fuck zone someone instead of appreciating their friendship.

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  • Dude, mutual friend zoning really exists. I know my guy friends see me for me and want to hang out with me bc they call me weird/goofball/dork, laughing always, talk about anything and we enjoy playing pool, hiking, camping, playing pubg or nobody minds me taking lead in what I want to do for the group or when I’m with any 2 males or I don’t mind doing whatever the guys wanna do. I also think it’s mainly because I can find literally anything to talk about in order to make a fast connection... But then I also know when to stfu or when to fight back or just be a playful ass lol. I guess I try to be extra friendly bc I require friend approval? But I mean, not everyone is into the same shit and not everyone’s gonna like u. I’m high, hi.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It's so commonplace here in Japan that it surprises me that it's a question. That includes close friendships among friends who find each other attractive (but maybe not dating because they're not each other's "personality types").

    In my case I have close male and female friends split just about right down the middle (as many close female friends as males). And sometimes I'll even go to dinner with them, and my wife doesn't mind, because we're just friends. And sometimes my wife will go out for dinner with one of her guy friends, and I don't mind because they're just friends. It's very normal here but somehow bizarre in some other cultures.

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    • I think one of the reasons it is so common here compared to, say, the US is because:

      1) There's no "cooties" thing segregating the two sexes from childhood, so guys and girls will often play together even as little kids (ex: play video games at each other's houses) and become lifelong friends, and that teaches from a very early age how friendships are valuable between the opposite sexes.

      2) Friends tend to have out in rather large friend groups. That'll tend to invite a more eclectic mix of people, including some who want to bring their own friends and introduce them to the group, and they could be male or female. It kind of cascades.

      3) It seems easier for people to find dates here sometimes. Like just about every one of my friends will not be absent a date for long periods of time. So there's no need to obsess and fall for an attractive friend of the opposite sex if you can easily get a date elsewhere.

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    • @sunsweet By the way, have you seen this film: Starship Troopers?
      https://youtu.be/zPYuV_jGk7M

      I love that film, and I love how the opposite sexes interact there. There is definitely no ignorance of the fact of male and female, but they cooperate and work together. The politics is a bit imperialistic and perhaps a parody of USA foreign affairs, but the gender relations are so interesting to me... and rather idealistic.

      I would like to see a future like that at least in terms of how men and women interact with each other and befriend each other. It seems reasonably "realistic" to me, in spite of being in a science fiction setting.

    • I think it'll get there, just right now people are focusing way too much on racial and gender differences. I have a black friend who struggled to be accepted by other black people because he "didnt act black enough." Now that he's changed the way he talks and switched his music to more modern rap, more people accept him, and it's not just a music thing. Right now everyone is trying to celebrate diversity by keeping people diverse.

      I have a friend who learned I liked to cosplay and she wanted to do so to, but we were talking about cultural appropriation and I told her a portion of Japanese cosplayers really hate Americans for taking the idea too. She was conflicted whether to do it or not after that. Ironically though, cosplay comes from games but especially anime, and anime was appropriated from Disney because it was inspired by the cartoons and large eyes.

      I watched the trailer, but not the movie. I like the sense of rapport between the characters. I think it will get there.

  • I honestly don't think so unless the dude is really gay or she is really butch. Reasons... friendship is two people with a common interest. If the common interest has anything to do with just getting attention or sex... I'm going to call bullshit. Nothing I hate more than guys complaining about being friendzoned (don't approach them as a friend then). But a woman that pretty much just lets a guy oogle over her and claims to have no idea that he wants to fuck is just as much bullshit... especially if she is a taken woman.

    Friendship is a common interest... it's why new friends will share past stories to see how much in common they have. Again if its just a chick telling her stupid problems and him sympathizing with all of it with eyes darting to body parts... what would make a person think that is a friend in either case?

    So I'm not saying they can't... but I am saying usually they aren't even though that will be the claim.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 29

  • Yes, and no.
    There is a very fine line.

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  • Why is this question asked seriously EVERYDAY?

    Yes! We can be friends. I have two great male friends, I have no desire to start anything more with them. Those guys who say that we can't be friends are the ones who wanna fuck every female friend they have.

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  • i think it depends on the lines drawn by both parties. a causal friend of the opposite sex is no challenge for either, but being a close friend that's where it might get tricky and a bit hard.
    but all in all, and with efforts it's doable :D

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  • Depends on the nature of the friendship. As long as they aren't attracted to each other.
    However most guys seem to befriend girls they are attracted to , that's why things like the friendzone exist so I'm not sure.

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  • Yes they can. For some people it is hard to imagine, but men can look at a hot woman and still consider her as a friend. Looks aren’t the only thing that separates friendship and relationships; it’s personality and behavior patterns.

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  • Yeah they definitely can if there's any attraction at the start from either sides it dies after a while in my opinion once your friends and know nothing will happen. There's no coming out of the friend zone sorry.

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    • Hahahahahahahahahahaha, you think attraction on the guy's side will ever die? Hahaha, that's not how it works.

    • @Stormsoul yeah the moment they see another fit girl they fancy and you've made it clear nothing happening why would they try to be anything but friends

  • If both parties made it clear then yes, if they didn't someone may be decieved... that is not ok. If you want to be friends with someone make sure you talk about it so the other person may note have false hopes and then be dissapointed.

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  • Yes it's still possible. Plenty of sane neutral people around if we don't possess a warped biased mind. Ofc there will be plenty of bad eggs who know how to be just friends only and spring their secret true agenda on you and say oh I've been crushing on you for years.

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  • From the point of the woman, Yes. The man will always try to get in her pants. Men don’t register the existence of women they don’t want to sleep with. You exist to them because you are pretty, their sister or their mother or their daughter or their wife. If you aren’t any of these they won’t even recognise your existence sadly.

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  • You can definitely know someone from school or a different event and then get to be their friend and keep touch and all. However it's not always and for everyone that boys and girls can be like very close friends and all.

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  • acquaintances yes, but not close friends like in « just you and me hanging out », maybe but definitely not if one is in a relationship.

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  • Yes but they both have to be on the same page about it and mindful not to cross certain boundaries.

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  • As someone who has had 0 luck at it since puberty-my pessimistic/biased answer on it is no.

    As someone who has seen it first hand (guy and girl are bffs but dating others), yes it's possible.

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  • Yes of course. I have a guy friend who has a girlfriend and a few kids. We're friends (not close friends) but yes friends are definitely possible

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  • Its possible if they are not attracted to each other

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  • I have a few guy friends that I would never in my life date

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  • Absolutely they can. I have a couple very close friends who are men and we have never ever crossed into any type of flirting/romantic relationship.

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  • Yes, as long as both parties set boundaries that cannot be crossed both emotionally and physically.

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  • Yes, as long neither of them is attracted by the other.

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  • As long as you’re ugly to each other, sure you can stay friends.

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  • Yes, only if no attraction or if they end up being your significant other.

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  • as long as both know its just friendship.

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  • Yes they can

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  • Big YES

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  • Yeah all my cuber friends are guys

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  • Eh.. it depends on a lot of things

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  • Of course

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  • Yes even if their attracted to each other.

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What Guys Said 52

  • That deserves a more nuanced answer than a simple yes or no...

    I think in general there is almost always potential in platonic male/female relationships for more. They may not be your first choice and you may not be theirs. Perhaps not even a good 2nd or 3rd choice. But let's be honest they are not without a rank or you would have nothing in common and wouldn't be friends to begin with.

    Give anyone enough time, with enough failings otherwise, and options never previously considered start to look good.

    I think most people are just a few drinks and the right circumstances away from banging their opposite sex bestie.

    If you want proof of it go ask your opposite sex friends under what circumstances they could see you two being together (make sure they understand it's a hypothetical and that they have the context).

    Although that's probably not the best idea as it WILL change the way you see a lot of "friends" in your life. Because I can just about guarantee you that almost none of them will say something like "Under no circumstances... That's gross. You're like my sister or something." Even with the very few that might say something like that. There will be a "but..." that follows.

    I'm not even placing a sexual orientation caveat on that. Again... enough drinks and the right circumstances. It makes people brave and even a little stupid. I've known more than one woman that slept with a gay guy friend. But of course "it doesn't count." it was "just a thing that kind of happened."

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  • Sure, as long as there's absolutely no physical/sexual attraction at all whatsoever on the part of the guy, aimed toward the girl. Then yeah, it's possible. But if there is any attraction at all, he's always going to want to fuck her, and would, if truly given the chance. Which means they're not actually friends. You don't fuck or want to fuck your friends. True friendship is platonic.

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    • So, there’s no way that the woman could want to fuck the guy? It’s only the guy who’d want that?

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    • Will you two please continue this in a private message? The notifications are irritating.

  • Absolutely. I've done it several times. I have female friends and my girlfriend has male friends and they're just friends, nothing more.

    Men and women can interact about a lot of things and enjoy doing things together that have nothing to do with sex.

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  • This has been asked so many times. You can be friends with anyone you want to, even just acquaintances, or best friends, and whatnot. Just cause someone has boobs doesn't mean every guy wants to f*ck her on sight or immediately date her

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  • You can be just friends to an extant. If it’s just friendly from the get go and there’s no romantic feelings or lust involved then yeah. But at one point one of them might actually entertain the idea of being more than friends and you might wanna see things where they go, but there’s so many factors that go into it. That it’s unfair to really narrow it to one situation since everyone is different

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  • I don't do polls...
    But no, not generally speaking. There's a reason they were attracted in the first place, and in almost every situation one or the other will want more.

    Besides, what's the point? Both benefit by having same-sex friends. I mean, are you into shoe-shopping? Or spending hours at the cosmetics counter? :)

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  • No, and here's why: Women are the biological companions to men, it is through participation of sexual intercourse that procreation can happen. In order for a relationship such as that to occur in the first place, there must be feelings beyond of a platonic nature to be involved. I don't believe women and men can stay platonic with each other, it's not conducive to reproduction.

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  • Without a doubt. I have one friend in particular whom I couldn't see myself getting together with but whom I really like as a friend. Even though she looks great, has a great personality and is really funny, I'm not really attracted to her. I think it's mostly because of how different our personalities and our interests are.

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  • I think they can. It's our society and culture that makes it difficult. Lots of people bother you about it and try to push you towards a relationship, even if you don't want one.

    They can be friends, but other people might ruin it.

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  • I personally don't think so. Yes there may not be an initial attraction but over time you begin to discover things about the other person that you like. This may be a one way street or from both parties but it's almost inevitable. You may never become physically attracted to the other person but their personality and soul becomes attractive and that's danger territory for friends

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  • Most definitely, however friends are people that you get along with (have chemistry with). Sonif they're physically attractive, there's nothing in the way of you becoming more other than fear you may lose that person's friendship.

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  • Maybe, if they are both sexually filled elsewhere. Otherwise they'll want what they don't have and try to find it in what's closest. Same with affection, intimacy trust, et cetera. Both would have to probably be emotionally for and resilient.

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  • You mentioned "generally speaking". Generally speaking no. Are there cases of men and women who are just friends, can they be just friends, yes. Generally speaking though, no.

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  • Absolutely, I have female friends where we haven't had any kind of sexual dynamic even over many years.

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  • yes of course, but at times there does have be extra limits

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  • Yep I have plenty of female friends that I don't want anything more than a friendship from, and it goes both ways. If your boundaries and intentions are clear it's not an issue at all.

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  • If neither one is attracted to the other one it is possible. My best friend is female, known her for over 10 years.

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  • The fact that 20% said no is stupid. First of all, homosexuality. Second of all, anyone can keep things platonic if they want to

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  • Maybe. Definitely depends on the situation. Friend zone. If she is in a relationship or headed that way. If she isn’t you are probably laying groundwork for a possible relationship.

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  • They can be friends and keep it that way, but generally, I'd say one of them is likely attracted to the other. Could be very mild attraction, but it's still there

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  • I swear to fucking god if I see this question another time... YES!!! They just have different anatomy than we do so YES we can be friends because they are HUMAN too! Gee fucking whiz...

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  • Yes they can. Until one of them does something awkward.

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  • This question goes on and on it seem. Well in fact I have 1 woman friend who used to be my girlfriend and we had 2 kids together. We sometimes also have sex since we know it's safe.

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  • To a certain point, and on a case-by-case basis, maybe. Otherwise, no.

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  • As stated before, yes. Easier if there is no attraction involved. If there is, and it's mutual that might make things awkward. To my own surprise the easiest way out of the awkward was to be brutally honest. Told a close friend of mine when we were 16 that I value our friendship, have no romantic feelings for her, but would certainly want to sleep with her. Result: We are still friends fifteen years later, we sometimes got close to a physical relationship but declared it a no-go if romance started to pop-up, as that is the real killer. If it did we just avoided each other for two months or so and things went easily back to normal. Similar worked quite well with other female friends of mine. So there it is, physical attraction is normal and okay, it just needs to be handled with honesty and a little smarts.

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  • Casual friends yes. Best friends? not unless one is gay.

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  • Yes, but single ladies, seriously, most of the guys in your circle of friends would probably date you if given the chance.

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  • Not in general... it takes two special personalities meshing in a special way that makes it possible.

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  • Yeah, but if she's hot there will always be second thoughts about fucking her no matter how much "just friends" you are

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  • Yes, but only if they don't start to develop romantic feelings or admits they both have a physical interest in the other.

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