Is monogamy dead?

Let’s face it. Relationships and society in general isn’t what it was like in the past. Youth in America (I can’t speak for Europe) have a freedom they’ve never been exposed to before. Is this new millennium a beginning to the end of monogamous relationships?
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What was I just called? A dumbwut? Lmao

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Not in my opinion. I for one could never be in a poly relationship. As my morals of relationships are contrasted with that system. I would never want to share my guy like that. Or myself. Ew... But if others want to, go ahead. you're just not for me.

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  • No. Do not believe the hype there is no such thing as hook-up culture. Millennials are actually engaging in less causal sex then previous generations (bummer for us, if you ask me) and Gen Z looks to be carrying on the trend. The irony of it all is the people using click-bait headlines to call down the next generation for the sake of newspapers are the people who came of age in the Free Love Movement. Boomers as a generation were having casual sex left and right and don't let them try to tell you any different. Monogamous relationships are still the vast majority, we are just giving visibility for those who choose to exist outside of it.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It's mainly hookup culture and people prefering lust over love that makes them fuck around instead of want to settle down. Ever since I was 12 I've wanted to have a real, stable relationship, compared to others who seemingly didn't even care about breaking up and appeared to cherish it instead. The simple way to thin that out is to just refuse dating anyone who's ever been into hookups or one night stands, like a lot of people actually do

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    • Good point but hooking up is almost like an itch. You could marry girl who’s never done it, than by her 40th birthday she’s dressing up like her teenage daughter, trying to hook up with guys half her age.

      And I wouldn’t say love, but commitment. Something even I would agree I have trouble with.

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    • It comes down to how someone sees sex and intimacy. If they don't care about it they'll treat it casually, while someone who cares about it/values it will treat it more special. It's like diamonds, some people think they're special and others consider them worthless gems, and neither wants to back down and see that everyone diffrent in their morals and values, because that would be an insult to their own values, etc...

    • I mean yeah I agree. People who have lots of casual sex do not value sex. However you can value sex but make a mistake here and there - which is what I think most people do. Alcohol is usually to blame.

  • I think the practice of devotion to a single partner has been dead for decades, however I don't think cheating or amorous relationships are standard. There's no certainly no societal emphasis on the value of one's chastity anymore and I think that leads to what OP is talking about. Too much casual sex or relationships that aren't taken seriously. It's more common to fuck up (literally and figuratively) a hand full of times before "finding the right one". Personally I think today's dating culture and the attitude around sex is pretty toxic. I'm not too happy about it either.

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    • good to see some young still think :)

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    • Maybe the both of you should re read the first sentence of your opinion.

    • @swolecook I'm not sure I get what you're saying. Was I off on something?

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What Girls Said 32

  • Nope

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  • I've met plenty of women who aren't interested in seeing multiple guys at the same time. It seems kinda like a 50/50 split. Its just a lot of people want to experience the world before being tied down

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    • lol. Every girl if attractive enough. Which isn’t saying much because even a land whale will get some guys interest. Has multiple guys trying to hit her up. I’ve been around the block enough, to see how much that wedding ring really means to the average girl.

      And you said “experience the world” (lmao not sure if you meant that literally or figuratively) but that’s a great indicator that monogamy is dying.

    • Figuratively. It's not an arrangement in the past where people married for security and reproduction but now people marry for passion and love, and a lot don't know how to create that. The actual term monogamous means mating for life and humans are more several partners over thier life naturally. I think a lot people are just chasing some idea in thier head that they'll find passion by finding new people and experiences, I do find our media to be very encouraging to sleep around but I'm still not interested. It's just more okay for these people to creep out of the woodwork

    • I believe its about a 50/50 split also. It's not exactly all that healthy to force down and suppress someone who wants to experience some things before being tied down and hitched, so in that sense, I think this "variety" in terms of people who just want monogamy versus those who want to explore/experience relationships, sex, etc. is a good thing because everyone is different (people used to be forced to marry and stick with people they probably shouldn't have been with anyways).

  • Nope, monogamy is not dead even though hook up culture is pretty popular. Most people heavily believe and practice monogamy, polyamory is still looked down upon or just isn't common among people cause they feel like it's cheating. I only practice monogamy, if someone feels like they need more than one person than i will kindly tell them to hit the road.

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    • I feel like hook up culture is destroying monogamy. The more you hookup the worse you are at relationships. There are so many girls (cant speak to guys) that are just walking buckets of cum and are completely undateable.

  • No, one night stands, friends with benefits and cheating aren't my thing. I could only make love with someone I actually love...

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    • Fucking and making love is two separate things. I'm not bringing up the Mr. Grey shit but I don't feel like the two are the same.

    • Well, some people aren't into "fucking" then

  • I think we have more options today, to many options. It is difficult to figure out what you want, so people get married later, have kids later and even then on instagram there is so many hot girls, just click and swipe, to even in a relationship you can get confused. So I think that is the problem. But I don’t think monogamy is dead. Many people want just that. It is human nature.

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  • The "trends" of US land in Finland a few decades late, so we still have a good amount of time before people even learn that there is such a thing called polygamy. Here a life long monogamous commitment is what people look for.

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  • No, if you surround yourself by people with morals.

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  • Unfortunately i would say monogamy might almost gone... lot of people choose to avoid relationship and tend prefer to find friend with benefits, one night stand and else...

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  • I hate hock up. I prefer monogamy. dumped my last asshole ex-bf for cheating. They too many idiots these days. I have 7 ex-bf. It not dead. lot younger girls seem to try to attention from a taken man.

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  • "freedom they’ve never been exposed to before"
    uh.. ever heard of the hippies and free love in the 60s and 70s?

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    • Completely different now. This time it seems people are attempting polygamy. And some guys are getting hitched to 4 girls or is having a relationship with four women who all know.

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    • @Merictanok those are not auppirt by the U. S. mormon church but unsupported rogue sects.

    • I'm not talking about a mormon church or anything else like that.

      I'm saying people in the current day and age are and have been committing acts of having more than one intamate partner. Monogamy is not dead. There are just more people cheating behind others backs and many who are in open relationship. These are the polygamists that live today. Just because people are legally incapable of marrying more than one spouse doesn't mean that people dont do it either way.

      Look at society and really think of what people do day to day. Monogamy is here, but guess what, so is polygamy. If you, for some inept reason cannot see that there is no tie between it and the church or Rouge sects of it, you are blind. I dont look these things up on line. Human nature has dictated it for decades.

  • I don't think so 😅 in Europe it's definitely not dead.

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  • It was never alive to begin with

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    • Lol at the downvotes. People choose to live with rose colored glasses but reality is infidelity has always existed. Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. Wake up sheeple.

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    • @PM_ME_PUPPERS sheeple!! haha i love it! i am going to start using that! xD

    • @SwoleCook dont be so salty kid she is talking logic and is making simple observations about the nature of human beings and their habits and instinctual desires

  • Not for me 🤷🏻‍♀️

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  • not at all maybe in usa only current generation has less freedom than previous generation

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  • I'm confused
    what's monogamy?
    i'm never even heard of monogamy before.. . .

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    • Mono (single) poly (multi). So a monogamous relationship is you are in a relationship with one person. As opposed to a polyamorous relationship where you are in a relationship with multiple people.

  • I don't think it's dead per se , I just think maybe humans were never meant to be monogamous in general ( although we are learning to adapt)

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  • No it’s not...

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  • No, I still believe in monogamy

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  • I hope not

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  • I dont think so, Im married and we're monogamous

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What Guys Said 67

  • lol, there are 400 million people in this country, and the only ones you see on the news or the internet are the ones who break the mold and challenge tradition.

    The idea that those traditions are therefore dead or dying is silly.

    Almost every couple I know is monogamous. I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend soon, marry her, and live a monogamous life together with her.

    Her parents are happily married, mine are (somewhat happily) married, my friends parents are all married. I know one gay guy who is getting married soon, and I just attended like 3 weddings over the summer.

    I know precisely one couple who are challenging the concept of monogamy with their relationship. They are married by polyamorous. They live together along with two of her boyfriends, and he typically dates one other person at time for a while (who sometimes lives with them), then moves on.

    It's weird and quirky and their families don't think much of it, but it's a massive exception to the rule.

    I see monogamy as the overwhelming trend these days, with polyamory only representing a small minority of relationships.

    And while cheating is super common, lets face it, it's ALWAYS been super common. It's just that nowadays people are a little more open about it, more likely to find out (thanks to technology) and more ready to split up because of it.

    And honestly most people don't engage in that much casual sex, or really any. I've never had sex with anyone other than my girlfriend.

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  • Monogamy is not pushed by the mainstream media (except for in Hallmark and Lifetime movies) which has a vast influence over our society. They print countless articles about how to have the best sex and how to attract the most people but not how to form a deep connection with someone.

    The world reads articles by prominent sources on why monogamy is a thing of the past that we should leave behind, but also while claiming that humans aren't naturally monogamous (we are, nearly every society was with or without interaction with the outside world).

    People are "liberated" nowadays. This liberation is merely an excuse to reward harmful behavior. It's not liberating to have no real restraint, to degrade yourself needlessly. "IT'S JUST SEX!" is a phrase I hear too far often and it shows how much of a lack of appreciation we have for one of the most powerful, important and affecting acts that we could ever experience.

    We focus so much on sex instead if bonding that we value ourselves off if that sex and not who we do with. Women don't want to appease the "patriarchy" yet they give them exactly what they want. And they don't give the guys who once respected them the attention which they gave the patriarchy instead. This creates bitter men. Bitter women created bitter men which then created more bitter women.

    Now we live in a society where men and women are reporting to have very unhappy and unfulfilling romantic lives even though it's acceptable to have casual sex now. Even with the new views on sexual openness, we aren't happy. We aren't happy because we substituted traditional gender roles which impeded female individuality and instead replaced it with a system of no real relationships at all. Instead of correcting the problem, we just threw it away and got a new one.

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  • "Relationships and society in general isn't what it was like in the past"

    This could be said about literally anyone, at any point in time. I'm not the same person I was 5 minutes ago and I won't be the same person I am 5 minutes from now.

    "Is this new millennium a beginning to the end of monogamous relationships?"

    Well, if the last 200 years of human history is any indication of the direction of the human condition, the answer is "no". But I suppose you're saying this from the perspective of someone who has access to a smartphone, and more options from more places than ever before, by implication. To that I would say the answer is STILL no. Whether or not monogamy is the natural state of human relationships is up for debate, but there is no doubt that monogamy is clearly highly efficient in its utility. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

    Now, the main inference of your post is probably that monogamy is being replaced by polygamy or polyamory, to which I would reply "what does the literature say on that?" or "what is the effectiveness of that strategy compared to monogamy and what are the outcomes?" Last time I checked--which was right now--jealousy, envy and greed are still things that exist. These emotions didn't and won't disappear overnight, and they make or break these relationships states--especially jealousy and envy, which are based in being territorial and desire for superiority. Cheating and deception are still elements of the human condition and polygamy and polyamory are founded in honesty and commitment.

    That's something a lot of people forget: the emotional requirements to be monogamous are great, but the emotional requirements to be polygamous/polyamory are greater and more numerous, and very few people have the emotional maturity to engage in partner-sharing without acting like spoiled children who just had their favorite toy taken away.

    TL;DR No, monogamy is not dead and I don't see it dying out for some time. Human nature will see to that.

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  • Dead? That depends. There are a lot of trashy unfaithful people out there. There are lots of guys and girls who just want to fuck lots of people and text multiple people just to boost their ego. However this gets boring after awhile. Eventually almost all people want a serious partner, why wouldn't they? Keep in mind that younger generations are less promiscuous than older ones. Studies have shown that even our parents and grandparents generations were fucking many different people. A lot of people don't engage in the Hookup Culture. Studies show that at college, students are fucking as much as you'd think. Studies also show the average American has 0-5 one night stands throughout a lifetime. It's exaggerated. And lastly, getting drunk and wanting a quick fuck (who doesn't from time to time?) does not mean that you don't want a relationship. Most people want serious relationships but if there is an opportunity to fuck someone - you're obviously gonna take it. Marriage rates and the rates of people living together have gone up in the US.

    Monogamy is not dead and it will never die. Thanks to the internet, the "hookup culture" has become a huge thing but in reality it always existed and continued to exist. Sleeping around is not a new invention created by young people. If anything, young people value relationships more and see them as such a good thing that they would hold off on them until they're ready. I know it's kind of hard to believe but so many young people are in long term relationships which they take very seriously. Most people have the odd one night stands and have a handful of them throughout their life. A minority of people sleep around a lot and they almost always have a reason for it (self esteem issues, ego boost etc.)

    So to sum it up - no, monogamy is not dead nor is it dying. People are acting the way they almost always have, just things have a different name. It may seem different but really it isn't. So in no way is monogamy dead - in fact people who cheat are universally seen as complete scumbags and being faithful is seen as a good trait.

    Hope this helps!

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  • No. There's literally no proof of that either. They get married later in life compared to the 70s but monogamy isn't going anywhere.

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    • I know a lot of single women and men in their late 20s also divorce rate is up. And then there’s cheating. Yeah things have changed.

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    • First of all. Statistics don’t focus on the whys or who’s or what’s. It’s a general consensus. People are getting married later, divorcing far more often, or not getting married at all, in much higher rates.

    • And kiraith, I'm not going o decipher your English, but you're delving into supposition and weirdly specific scenarios.

  • I tend too refer too the same two groups a lot to validate my point... However do too the lack of parenting, sex education too early in schools, and media (reality tv) are the cause.
    Lack of parenting- tide pod challenge generation, if parents cared, and took the time to guide there children, to take the time to notice their children lacked common sense... it's also a parents responsibility to watch the child's behavior and monitor young relationships because now the children are getting sex ed at an early age and we all know a child who DISCOVERS an new CURIOSITY, will EXPERIMENT.

    Reality tv- Mtvs show teen mom although it could be educational but without an intelligent disclaimer, kids see a way to get on tv, they see (this is cool). No mention or lesson about the cost, the reality, the pain, the loss of freedom. Media takes this struggle and honestly a moral problem a form of entertainment about the dysfunctional and not the true nature... men and women who were raised right will follow the path of commitment

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  • Nope. I may question occasionally that some don't believe in it anymore, though I think that this percentage is just louder about their activities than in previous decades, besides the 1960s and 1970s.

    Consider me on the adamant monogamy side, though.

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  • no it is not. relationships have changed. there aren't as many marriages now but there are more and more exclusive long term relationships between unmarried people

    the vast majority of people still get involved in and seek out monogamous relationships

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  • Sometimes feels like it's heading that way. I think the advent of modern birth control is a huge thing. It changes the entire nature of human reproduction, as it takes away the most fundamental biological reason to favor a monogamous society.

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    • It's not necessarily in our nature to be monogamous, as though we're born that way. Even traveling a lot, many ideas of "romance" and "love" are more of a social phenomena, and vary from culture to culture in the ways people express it (if they express it at all).

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    • And she's actually good-looking! You might expect only this level of devotion from an ugly one, and she's not model-level, but she's into classical ballet and fitness and keeps very trim.

    • Yeah. Lots of shows have re created that story.

  • Well... roughly half of all adults in the United States are married. Presumably a significant portion of adults are in long term relationships as well. So that means people who are not monogamous are in the minority, at least in the U. S.

    So while it seems like monogamy might be dead, on a national level it's alive and well.

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  • It never existed. Women are biologically created for monogamy. They literally break down after multiple partners. The problem is society changed the etymological definition if monogamy which means ONE PARTNER FOR LIFE NOT MULTIPLE PARTNERS THROUGH OUT LIFE. Monogamy is dead and women killed it. This is also why women fight against virginity bc they are the only sex who is born with virginity. Her value drastically changed after 1 previous partner.

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  • not dead, just dancing on the line to be totally annihilated, unfortunately. thanks to modern life..
    but i think, basing my statement on game theory and many boring factors i think are in play (feminism, liberalism, mass media, and huge amount of lies and selfish short termed thinking) anything else besides monogamy is sentenced to death on the long term. its a question of how. how this actual state would reach an end.

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  • As someone from Europe, I can confirm that 100% of the people I know are into monogamous relationships and would never actually consider anything else.

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  • Naw man, what freedom do young Americans have that they didn't in the 1970s? People slept around a lot back then too, and guess what, monogamy still exists. If anything people were actually more promiscuous back then before AIDS was a thing

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  • No, not at all. The more things change the more they stay the same.
    If you want a committed monogomous relationship then pursue and hold to that, find someone like-minded. And quit fussing over what the masses are doing.

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  • More people are abandoning monogamy. Especially young people. But I still think the majority of the American population are still monogamous.

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  • Let's be real here... As long as guys have been tired of their yapping ass wife and wives have been tired of their needle dick husband's there's been no such thing as monogamy... Not for everyone anyways... It's against human nature to be with one person forever...

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  • Its the idea of having a partner. Someone special you can share your life with. When it becomes poly, it no longer becomes special.

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  • When you are young and nothing but sex and drugs on tv. Plus your body is getting used to all the new emotions. You sometimes go a little crazy. Plus with all that's out there its kinda really hard not to just go from one hook up to another. Cause that's the easy way to fill the lust you have inside. But if your smart enough and mature quick enough you learn that sex is nice but you would rather have just one partner and not have to worry each time you score if you just contracted something or not. Plus if your a women the worst case scenario "get pregnant" and not sure the farther. Or wait what was his name? . So we can blame them only wish them best of luck in learning the truth before they end up sick or dead.

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  • I don't know. It's definitely less common but I see bitches out here getting mad as fuck about cheating so I have to believe there's some strong social presence of monogamous kind of thinking.

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