Who broods over broken relationships more, gals or guys? 💔

Who broods over broken relationships more, gals or guys? 💔Who broods over broken relationships more, gals or guys? 💔

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Males, because females usually are able to move on more quickly, due to access to a lot more potential mates, significantly fewer requirements for being dateable, and just being generally desired more.

    So if a female loses a guy, it's like "Meh, there's 10 more trying to hump my leg. I guess I'll give one of them a shot for awhile."

    If a male loses a female, he's like "Omg, when am I going to get another one? Will I even get another one?"

    Only exception is if the female perceives the male she lost as a 9 or a 10. In which case, she will be devastated. Or if a male is high value, top 20%, and he can also easily find a different female. Either way, both are still damaged by it. But the rate at which they move on and the severity of their feelings over the breakup is determined by their desirability. Women have more desirability by default [excluding the top 20% of males, who have even more], hence breakups affect them less.

    So, it's based on the rarity of the person they are with, along with their perceived capability of finding another mate.

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    • I guess, you're presupposing that there is less emotional attachment? Am I right?

    • If the guy isn't a 9 or a 10? I'm not entirely sure. Subjective experience is difficult to measure. They could have a similar degree of attachment, but it just fades more quickly. Or, they could have less attachment. Women don't die for men, so I'm more likely to believe that men develop higher degrees of attachment. Maybe not on average, but capable of more attachment.

      It's a convoluted subject. Especially when you get into "how does this person feel vs this person".

      I can tell you that the actions of males vs the actions of females say something, to me. But I can't tell you what they feel. Unless we look up after-break up suicide rates, which will likely be mostly male: but we don't know if that's due to the breakup. And there's always the argument that "women deal with their emotions better".

      So. Moot. i have no idea. I think men are usually more idealistic about love, whereas women are more practical about love, though.

  • I'd say girls do, because after they reach 30-35, their ability to find new relationships can quickly disappear, and then all they have to do for the rest of their life is brood on all their past chances at happiness and how and why they all slipped away.

    Meanwhile, guys are still capable of finding a girlfriend not only past their mid-30's, but into their 50's and 60's. I actually work with a guy who's almost 70 and he just got divorced by his wife of ten years and he already has a girlfriend and it's not even a year later.

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    • Women can age like a good wine I bet a few of you're friends would have a smirk on their faces saying tee hee that's right bro the more for meeeee!!!

    • Dude your so pathetic absolutely pathetic! Hahahaha

      Call me a tease a whore whatever the Fuk you want and need fact of the matter is your wrong!

Most Helpful Girls

  • Men. They aren’t used to safely expressing their emotions. In the case of divorce, divorced men often feel abandoned with no one to turn to as the friends and even the children usually leave with the wife, of whom tends to be the predominant caregiver or organizer for get-togethers. Even widowers have statistically more difficult time mourning the loss of their wives as they feel they must be strong and hide their emotions. This contributes to an increased prevalence of suicide amongst divorced and widowed men.

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  • I think immediately would be probably girls, but after a while when the girl has started to make small, but still progress, on healing, the guy might start to think over the past relationship and reminisce.

    However, the girl might never heal completely, as nobody probably does, but when she's been deeply hurt for a year or however long/short timeframe, and finds another good guy, her ex might be wanting her back. While she might think about the past and still feel hurt about it, she may or may not want her ex back, depending on her personality and life experiences.

    (I said that probably nobody ever completely heals. Even if someone says they don't care about past relationships, there would be some behavioral oddness or defense mechanism that they use to suppress their feelings about past relationships.)

    In summary, I think that both guys and girls would be bothered by their past relationships, just that the timing might be different. As for the degree, it may vary depending on the personality but not the gender.

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What Guys Said 57

  • Men and science has shown that.

    www.binghamton.edu/.../
    Study: Women hurt more by breakups but recover more fully
    12 AUG 2015
    Women experience more emotional pain following a breakup, but they also more fully recover, according to new research from Binghamton University.

    Researchers from Binghamton University and University College London asked 5,705 participants in 96 countries to rate the emotional and physical pain of a breakup on a scale of one (none) to 10 (unbearable). They found that women tend to be more negatively affected by breakups, reporting higher levels of both physical and emotional pain. Women averaged 6.84 in terms of emotional anguish versus 6.58 in men. In terms of physical pain, women averaged 4.21 versus men’s 3.75. While breakups hit women the hardest emotionally and physically, women tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger. Men, on the other hand, never fully recover — they simply move on.

    According to Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author on the study, the differences boil down to biology. Women have more to lose by dating the wrong person.

    “Put simply, women are evolved to invest far more in a relationship than men,” Morris said. “A brief romantic encounter could lead to nine months of pregnancy followed by many years of lactation for an ancestral woman, while the man may have ‘left the scene’ literally minutes after the encounter, with no further biological investment. It is this ‘risk’ of higher biological investment that, over evolutionary time, has made women choosier about selecting a high-quality mate. Hence, the loss of a relationship with a high-quality mate ‘hurts’ more for a woman.”

    Conversely, as men have evolved to compete for the romantic attention of women, the loss of a high-quality mate for a man may not “hurt” as much at first, Morris said.

    “The man will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it ‘sinks in’ that he must ‘start competing’ all over again to replace what he has lost — or worse still, come to the realization that the loss is irreplaceable,” he said.

    Morris said that breakups are important because most of us will experience an average of three by age 30, with at least one affecting us strongly enough that it substantially decreases our quality of life for weeks or months.

    (more)

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    • “People lose jobs, students withdraw from classes and individuals can initiate extremely self-destructive behavior patterns following a breakup,” he said. “With better understanding of this emotional and physical response to a breakup — Post Relationship Grief — we can perhaps develop a way to mitigate its effects in already high-risk individuals.”

      The study, “Quantitative Sex Differences in Response to the Dissolution of a Romantic Relationship,” was published inEvolutionary Behavioral Sciences on July 31.

    • This needs to get MHO. It's the most authoritative, analytical and we'll thought out response on this thread. It's also fair to the sexes.

  • Guys brood when stuck in a relationship or when their interest in a woman is unrequited...

    Girls seem to me to brood when a relationship breaks up or goes obviously downhill...

    Overall I would give the edge on brooding to women... Until I think about how many guys there are that are constantly on about how they can't find a woman at all. So I guess unless you want to say that's whining and not brooding, I'd say the genders have plenty of it to go around maybe?

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  • Drama queen here. If there is a good reason behind it I just pick my stuff and leave. There is no point in fighting for something that is over. Then I call friends, we go to drink, or I go on a solo trip or solo on a concert and next at least 10 months I dont wanna hear about relationships, love, commitmet and so on... Just leave to have fun before I fall in love again. :D

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    • Healthy attitude seriously keep active is always the best way forward but try to take something from it as well

  • Guy usually unless he has another woman already.
    My experience is i haven't dated in 9 years since I lost out on the woman I loved. My own screw up.
    She found someone else 6 months later and married him 3 years later.
    She even asked and messaged me was I ok. I said I was happy for her even though to this day it eats me up inside.
    9 years later I am depressed and can't get a date.

    Men

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  • I think it's men who do that most of the time. When relationships end, depending on the guy, he might either move to another relationship right away though he hadn't gotten over it yet or ruminating over the ones that failed. I kinda do that all the time. Hence why I appear angry and brooding with earphones on plus the loud volume and being socially reclusive.

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  • Guys from what I have seen and heard. Women usually just find another guy or they have one already waiting long before the break-up happens. Guys can go for years without another woman after a break-up. Women I have known usually have someone else within weeks.

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  • Guys, women get more emotional support overall and generally have a few guys wanting to "save her"

    Guys suffer in silence or with few close friends

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  • I'm going to say guys. They linger on it longer, don't move on faster, and think more deeply about it even after all is said and done.

    Women seem to just go on a cock fest.

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    • I disagree. Perhaps you don’t see what goes on afterwards with women but we also go through the same thing. I’ve spent years not dating after we broke up and apparently there were a few people who liked me but I didn’t know. Even if they did say something I would've said that I wasn’t interested. So I think that it depends on each individual - the gender doesn’t really matter it’s about how you deal with loss and heartbreak.

  • The one who broods the most is the one who was the most invested into the relationship. In general, women become more invested in a relationship earlier than men. Mostly because women will allow a physical relationship when she feels that she trusts a guy. This is significant milestone to most women. Guys don't really need trust to move to the physical part, and they take time to become invested. So, in short relationships, it would seem that the gals might brood the most. In longer relationships, it is hard to say. The one who broods the most is the one who is told by the other that things aren't going to work out, and it's time to break up.

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  • Guys first brush it off and resort to tinder and hook ups, but then suffer long term when they can't find the same kind of connection with other girls.

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    • Totally agree! Like the seven year itch in marriage. You have the 6 month come back in relationships how sorry they are and how they messed up, had a few of those, but by then after spending around four months licking my wounds and two months living too late!

  • Well while guys are upset and drinking a lot and stuff girls are already with a new guys and/or sleeping around. The tables have completely reversed when it comes to dating - I hope women are happy.

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    • No the table is just balanced now sorry if you've had a bad experience but I'm sure it will get a lot better

    • The tables are turned now sorry to say.

      Girls are cheating more than guys. Girls are hurting guys and sleeping around more. Girls are dating multiple guys at one time. Girls don't give a fuck about guys feelings and use them.

      So yes, dating roles have entirely flipped. Girls are also more sexual than guys and stuff.

    • Wow suppose 18 year old girls are different now to think of it have seen girls out and thought to myself if my daughter dresses or behaves like that I WILL KILL HER!!! yeah point taken but a little food for thought. Do you not think social conditioning has something to do with it , I mean Jesus kanye's new song WTF

  • Just by looking at the comments so far... it's definitely men.

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  • I don't think that is really a gender thing I think it relates to what type of person it is man or woman

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  • I think girls are hurt more, but guys are hurt longer

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  • Depends. Guys are a lot less likey to attach themselves to someone but when they do it lasts for the next few relationships ( or a long time in one good relationship) before it fades.

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  • both I would say equally as it is subjective... depends on the person not the gender

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  • Both I'd say have an equal chance of brooding for a long time depends on the relationship I suppose.. It shouldn't be a male/female thing souls are souls and a hurt one is no good ┌ʕ º ʖ̯ º ʔ┐

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  • I think both have that ability for sure. As to more, Im not sure there's a clear winner

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  • I still do over every single one of my relationships so take that as you will.

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  • I brood a lot but it's mostly a learning experience and not so much a self pity thing.

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What Girls Said 16

  • I was dumped and replace very quickly... i was actually replaced twice before the relationship was over😳so I can’t say for sure. I think women brood longed though. Having more potential mates means we have distractions. It doesn’t change our broken hearts

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  • From my experience, girls tend to get more upset after it happens, but then guys tend to try to get them back after they’ve already moved on.

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    • Hey not fair... same thing happen to us... then some girls seem to regret it... 😆

    • I know. I’m just saying which I’ve seen happen more.

  • I never experienced a broken relationship. One of my friend relationship got broken and in this case her guy broke up badly. He is facing mental problems now because he was badly attached to her. But she eventually broke up.

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  • Girls brood at the start of a break up while the guys feel free- then a while later the girl feels free and the guy broods- not always tho so don’t come @ me.

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  • Everyone will say it's their gender.
    Girls will say girls do
    Guys will say guys do

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  • It depends on the person. If one of them was deeply in love and the other wasn’t, then of course the first one would brood much more.

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  • Depends on why they split. I think it's pretty equal.

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  • Girls!

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  • It depends on the narrative of the break up.

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  • Both

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  • Both.

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  • Girl

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  • Gal...

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  • It really depends on the person. I’d say both genders equally probably, but from what I’ve learned I’d say women tend to deal with it much better than men in the long run.

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  • Men. especially if he was in love and messed up badly.
    As a woman I'd rather take my time now. after my last break up I didn't want to jump into somebody's arm for self-respect

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  • Mostly guys but I'd say depends on the individual.

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