Why are you still single?

Have you ever wonder why are you still single?Why are you still single?

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  • @Luna1998 No point of me ever pursuing a relationship since I don't believe it will actually make me "happy", "fulfilled", "complete" or whatever you want to call it. I simply am more than 100% certain that it won't last and I think I'd only become even MORE MISERABLE AND UNHAPPY if I ever did try and then end up all back to square one when it's all over, as that is MORE LIKELY to happen than NOT. THUS IT'S BACK TO EMPTINESS AND FUTILITY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER FOR ME.

    The incentives or desire to have one just isn't there within me one way or another anyway. I think the whole finding the "right" person is all hit or miss and completely random and inconsistent, entirely based on luck. It's a a bad joke. They could actually turn out to be just "right" for you for 5 years, maybe 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, etc., but NEVER GUARANTEED to be the "right" person for the rest of your life, etc. I always live by ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG, SIMPLY WILL GO WRONG. Roll the dice, spin the wheel, toss a whole bunch of coins and hope they all land on the same sides. It's just very simple, if something isn't broken then there's no point in ever fixing it. If it is already fine the way that it is, then it's simply BEST TO JUST LEAVE IT THE WAY THAT IT IS INSTEAD.

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    • Lol i mean of course it's not GUARANTEED that they'll be the right person. Love isn't math.

    • @Kenni Even math equations results in problems like "cannot be divided by 0", the only exceptions however is this LOL:

      Why are you still single?
      Why are you still single?

      And then there are math problems that results in "no solution" or "no possible solution":

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWoW0wZeUN8

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What Guys Said 175

  • Oh geez... well,

    1) I'm picky. I don't want to settle for a girl I'm not physically attracted to and while I do see a lot of mildly attractive women, I rarely come across ones that really grabs my attention.

    2) I keep to myself because
    a) I'm not presumptuous enough to assume girls actually want me to approach them
    b) I lack the energy to socialize for more than a couple minutes
    c) I'm a hardcore introvert
    d) I'm not really interested in other people's lives and seldom let people into mine
    e) Any attempt at feigning interest and generating something out of nothing usually winds up being really awkward

    3) I assume women aren't actually interested in me and that anything they do is them being friendly. So while I definitely pick up on potential flirting, I write it off because I know that none of that actually mean anything.

    4) I can't connect with anyone on anything other than a superficial level. The majority of people bore or annoy me and I haven't really met a girl that can make me feel anything on a deeper level. And when I start coming close, they end up breaking my heart and a little more of me dies inside.

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  • I've been told that I'm too intense about things I'm passionate about. I'm too detail oriented and expect my partner to be able to maintain a standard that I hold towards myself. I spend too much time reading or too much time worrying about "Hippie dippie bullshit" (as someone once said) I've been told that my expecting someone to use their brainpower or be an adult "say what you mean, mean what you say" was unrealistic. And I don't tolerate disrespect of any kind so when I'm shit talked I stop giving a fuck and give the real deal of my thoughts about someone. I'm still single because I believe in equitable relationship Dynamics and I don't let these women just coast. Relationships are work and females these days just wanna be taken care of (ones I been with at least). I'm single because I'm not gonna be a slave to someone. I refused to be ordered around and barked on. I refuse to adhere to any standards my partner won't.. I'm single because I believe in traditional courtship and romance and these women out here have no clue what that is.

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  • Yes. And I can probably write a long essay on it. But obviously no one's gonna read it. So I'm just gonna make a list of some reasons.
    I never had any success with girls in school which made me hopeless.
    I'm too skinny which makes me insecure.
    I got social anxiety (self- diagnosed).
    I don't have enough finance.
    I fear intimacy due to inexperience.
    I'm 28. Too old.
    Most women are feminists these days 🖕

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  • Because I haven't met anyone interesting. I'd like to meet a woman who can trade one-liners and quips with me, but so far, the opportunity hasn't presented itself.

    That, and I probably spend too much time working in front of the lappy.

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  • I realized lately that with the girls who are into me, I make mistakes. Getting too sexual too soon out of anxiety, pursuing her when she should be pursuing me, or texting too much when we have only gone on 2 dates.

    That being said, now that I know these things I'll be able to keep the girls I want interested. still, im gonna stay single and just enjoy what's around me.

    I don't see myself in a relationship with a lot of these people.

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  • It's because I'm picky and don't want a superficial girl who only cares about looks. I want a girl who I can enjoy my time with rather than just being in a lustful relationship based on looks only.
    Looks are what catches someones attention, your personalty is what keeps us around. It really is that simple.

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  • Never had any luck with women that I actually am interested in. I've had a few actually ask me out or express interest, but the feeling wasn't mutual sadly.
    Beyond that, I'm really picky and I don't plan on settling. I'll be single for life rather than settle for someone I didn't view as an equal or potential partner.

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    • Single For Life for the win! If settling for something less ain't gonna make you happy then what is the point of doing so anyway? Better be absolutely certain that person is gonna be "right" for you not for just merely 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, etc., but "right" for the entire duration for the rest of your life. I mean otherwise, you'd be back to square one, and probably end up losing lots of financial resources, especially if it was a situation where you married somebody and had established a family with them and then things completely went to shit and fell apart at some point later on and the only option left is a divorce. But that's just the thing. THERE ARE SIMPLY NO ABSOLUTE CERTAINTIES NOR GUARANTEES that whomever you end up with would actually be "RIGHT" for you FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

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    • I'm just too cynical one way or another.

  • Modern life is my response. We spend more time working at home and at work, that we all forget to live life. I myself am still single, and I know it's because I work too much. However, if we work less we won't pay the bills and have basic life needs, like shelter electricity food and water, met.

    In fact I have read studies that suggest most of us meet partners at work, not socialising. Haven't checked to see new trends, but a part of me hopes this is not still true.

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    • It's only true if you choose to only meet girls at work. If you spend 5-10 minutes each day to just meet 1 girl a day that's 365 girls a year you could meet and potentially date.

    • If my looks don't scare them away first 😉

  • Uh oh well... im not socializing enough i guess... i would like a girlfriend but im shy most of the time, and also i dont really know how to get a girlfriend besides inviting her out...

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  • I dont really wonder, why I am single, it's quite obvious.

    I am a very direct and straight forward person, not that often thinking about what I am saying. Its just not easy to spend time with me together, without me saying anything hurtful or triggering.

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  • Yh and found the answer. Women don’t want a real relationship they want to play games simple. So I choose to stay single and not play their game. At the end of it who will lose that game? Yup not the men with the salary and home that a woman needs but can’t get hence why she marries.

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    • There's really not much point either way. If it ain't broke then why fix it? I mean what's broken or wrong about being single? NOTHING. And it could simply be just left the way as it is.

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    • That all comes down to how much one cares about ones family, parents, etc. I mean for somebody that dislikes and resented their parents they probably would care less regardless and rather their own family name, bloodline, whatever just be done and over with forever. To me it's completely a false sense of security to believe and think that by having offspring one will have descendents and that a family name and bloodline can perpetuate. The truth is really have very litte to no control what can happen and what will happen over the course of any person's life. Including one's own offspring. They can die before their parents do, they may die even before they ever marry and have any offspring of their own, have or develops illnesses and conditions such as infertility and thus that renders it impossible to keep a family line advancing any further, and even moreso if they are the only offspring left, and their parents simply could not produce more offspring because of their age, or

    • because they can't handle and support more than one offspring financially. And if something does go wrong, such as an unexpected tragedy and they lose their only child, then they'll end up in a world of hurt and grief, probably even morseo and worse if their only child didn't marry or have any offspring of their own yet if something tragic and unexpected happens, and they are just too old and don't have the financial resources to try again and make another child of their own.

  • Because I disagree with many people's morals and am attracted to a smaller percentage of girls than most people are. I have more conservative morals, but I live in liberal California so there are a lot less people around here that I would be compatible with.
    And the ones I've met online that would be a good match, they live too far away.

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    • Yeah I met someone one on here from California that I liked who was very conservative. He even offered to come visit me cause he had money.. but I said no... stupid me I guess. But he was young. LOL 🤣 I like him a lot Though an he was cute. oh well.

  • Most likely because Im shy and I can't take hints and Im fucking stupid. Somehow a few girls think I look good and I put my damn small trust that I have in people in them. Other than I dont know. Oh yeah poor self-esteem and low confidence

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  • I know why I'm single. It's because I have high standards. And because I haven't yet found a way to connect with someone who I would actually date/marry.

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  • because iam to shy and way to nice and no girls like nice guys like me plus iam not good looking enough last i was told and dont make enough money to make a girl happy but i hope one day a girl will like me for my heart and not my looks or bank account

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  • Not good looking enough to attract i guess, and also maybe since i`m not elite enough. Since looks and material go hand and hand now a days

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  • I am yet to meet my ideal match...

    tbh I been feeling that if the next one i meet doesn't work out I dont want to keep going through the heartache of things not working out

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  • I thought it was the real deal but now it seems "aggressive women are noticing me"
    But the one I really want
    Doesn't want anything to do with me so I guess now fuck the pain away
    like that song?

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  • I know why but I'd never go into detail on here. I'm trying to change but it's not easy. The sad thing is I've had plenty of women offer. The problem is me.

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  • For most it is just waiting for the right person to come along

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    • Yeah that's me, mostly. And I have a habit of falling for people I can't have (either because they already are in a relationship, don't want one, or just isn't interested).

  • I meet very few women (and very few SINGLE women). And most of the girls I meet, they'll drop off the face of the planet after a few months because of some change to their schedule (new job, new boyfriend, move out of state, etc).

    The few that do stick around, do bother to show up to events, etc... few of those ladies are interested in getting to know me. I don't seem to have what women from age 24-35 would want. Very few of these ladies are interested in anything I'm interested in... usually most don't even seem to want to have a conversation (maybe many are just really bad at having conversations or being social outside of talking to their girl pals, who knows?).

    So all of this means that I meet very few girls that I'd want to date (or who would want to go out with me).

    Maybe they ALL hate coffee (and or coffee houses).

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  • Yes i do wonder. Then i remember why, I've had a troubled past with women and all women i am intrested in are either, married, underage, or just catfishing. Also the fact of previously having sex toys and a doll does not help me. Oh well.

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  • It's probably because deep down, I have a terrible personality :)

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  • Because I have not found a suitable partner since my divorce.

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  • I'm not single, but I can see quite clearly why some other people on this site are.

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  • Reasons for that have recently changed for me. I plan on moving next year so starting any relationship would be pointless right now.

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    • I'm moving soon as well, and that's the reason why I haven't applied for jobs here (even though I have been offered some.)

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    • @Jamie05rhs I grew up there so I have the urge to go back. I have been here 12 years so that is long enough.

    • Oh, ok. Nice.

  • Single FT working father , and a combo of no desire to date and also well aware I am not going to be first choice for most women , there are plenty of single , no ties men

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  • I have always been single and I know the reasons behind that. I wish to stay single for life.

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  • I'm introverted and don't often meet new people and on top of that I moved country, so I don't know that many people here. If you don't know anyone, you sure as hell aren't going to date anyone.

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  • I'm picky...+I'm not good looking neither a good personality
    I always find reasons not to talk to girls I like
    Girls I like are wayyyy out of my league

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What Girls Said 83

  • I don't socialize.

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    • Why don't you try here, who knows maybe the person commenting be you next partner. ☺️❤️

    • I don't socialize either but there was this one guy flirting with me like MONTHS ago.. an I was to damn shy... he had the most beautiful green eyes. Oh well 🤷

    • @TheRish lmao 🤣 this isn't a dating site as people like to tell me...🙄 I did meet a guy on here who was.. cool but I messed that up. But he was SELFISH any way. Fucking Taurus..😑

  • Because:
    -I have standards
    -Won't settle
    -Not very feminine/tomboyish
    -Introverted
    -Location. Most guys my age around here are already taken, married, or not interested
    -Wary of most men's intentions (by that I mean they just want sex or a fling and not a real relationship)

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    • Same with the introverted and not feminine part (more like im like a man though lol).

  • It's hard to find the right person. It takes a lot of effort to go out an socialize and even then, no one comes around or I don't find anyone interesting. It's hard to find someone with similar interests and be open to having genuine conversations. However, being single doesn't bother me much because I've got other things to worry about.

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  • I am single because I don't view a relationship as a necessity.
    They add value to ours lives, but they are not necessary for our lives to hold value.
    I don't let any desire to be in a relationship dictate my standards.
    If something doesn't look or feel right, then I am not going to force myself into it for the sake of having a relationship.

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    • I feel you

    • At least somebody else here recognizes that it isn't something we have to have or needs to have. But rather it's just something the majority just "wants" to have, but it is unnecessary. Best to figure out how to survive on your own anyway, to many are overly worried about the whole "dying alone" myth or delusion that if they have a partner/spouse/significant then they won't "die alone". But the truth actually is that it's nothing but a false sense of security. Anything can happen to anybody over the course of their lifetime and more often than not one partner/spouse/significant other will pass away before the other and the one that's left behind, well guess what? They're gonna be left behind to suffer and grief the loss.

  • I do, first off I don't put in enough effort lol, I'm not gonna wake up an hour earlier to do hair and makeup (cause without them I'm like a 5 but with them I go up to like an 8). Second, I don't have an interest in any of the guys I've seen. Third, I don't want one.

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  • I tried it's not that I didn't . But the ones I met were bad examples of men. And now I met very good examples I don't have the will to pursue a relatioship anymore

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    • Once the will is gone I doubt it's gonna ever return if ever. Better to just learn to live without it completely instead. Too many people rely a lot, if not, completely dependent upon their relationship for their own "happiness" or "fulfillment". But then when shit happens and that relationship eventually is all over and somehow falls apart, then so does that "happiness" or "fulfillment" too. So it's best to not rely on or depend upon ANYBODY ELSE for one's own "happiness", etc. especially not completely, like head over heels, is that how that phrase or word it? Because I forgot. All just to set oneself up for disappointments and miseries, but hey, it happens more often than not.

    • @JudgmentDay I totally agree yes

  • I'm not, but I was for several years before my current relationship. There were different reasons - didn't want a new relationship too soon after my last one, wanted to focus on other things in life, enjoy single life, and so on. And then I started developing the urge to be in a relationship again, so I opened up to that again. Still took quite a while until I met someone I felt a connection to, because you cannot force these things.

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  • Not single anymore but when I was it was because I didn't meet someone that made me wanna change that aspect of my life. I love being single coz I love my life and I'm so glad I didn't go for just any guy around. It was so worth it to focus on ME because now I crossed path with an amazing man that is not a need, its a want.

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  • Being in a relationship either leads to marriage or break up. I'm 21 I want to live life freely and spend more time on my own and be indepedant. I'll settle down when the time is right and when I find my guy best friend. But for now there's nothing wrong with being single while you're young. There's more time to focus on yourself, hobbies, school, work, family and friends. Also I have trouble trusting so it takes me a while to really be interested in a guy.

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  • I'm single because I don't know enough single people in my waking life that I am interested in. When I was in University finding guys I liked was so easy but I graduated this year.

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  • INTJ and tall, enough said.
    Haven't found one I'm attracted to that is also attracted to me and I don't think I've ever had a guy I like really try to chase me, yet.

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  • Because a boy broke my heart

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  • Because I'm picky and not in a hurry? I didn't met a man who was so good that I wanted to date him. I don't want to start a relationship if I sense that somethings off just so we break up after a month or less... No thanks, I will keep searching

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  • My social skills are piss poor lol and i get really nervous and anxious in those situations so all my life i’ve ran

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  • I'm very picky, i've turned down lots of different guys since I got single... I usually fall for the wrong men and i've noticed that now so I turn down them as well now but the nicer guys i'm not interested in so I feel that is a problem within me due to lack of confidence and I need to work on that first so my next relationship can be a healthy one. I have contact with a great guy though and we can take things slow due to there being a small distance between us luckily.

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  • Probably cause I don't make an effort to join activities. An I'm in a social setting to meet people honestly.. like college.. but at the same time even if I did go to college I'd still be single alone with out friends...😞💔

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  • This formula is the explanation in my case:

    Meeting the wrong type of guys+Meeting no one+perhaps being in the wrong place+ a dash of bad luck= eternal singlehood

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  • Because no one wants me. I was engaged once but it didn't work out.

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  • I am very selective and I don't think relationships are healthy at all either

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  • I consider myself somewhat attractive, but I’m introverted and relationships scare me. I haven’t been in many so I wouldn’t know where to start.

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  • Because I don’t have time to worry about relationships

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  • I've got some commitment issues, really. That and I have too many mental illnesses for one person to handle lmao

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  • Because guy just never see in that way, I guess 🤷‍♀️

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  • I am currently singe just got out of a relationship. Sometimes I wonder at my age why I haven't bumped into my soulmate yet lol.

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  • Waiting on your dad to save me on his horse but your mom stands in the way of our love.

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  • It’s a combination of learning to be at peace with myself, dear, not being my ideal self, and having high standards. After my last relationship that failed miserablely and almost permanently destroyed my life, I am at the point where I am no longer desperate to be in one. Also considering that I’m not where I want to be in life, it would take quite some time before I can attract the right person. I am also a bit cynical and struggle with fear of abandonment, on and off depression, and low-esteem so it would take a very emotionally strong, motivational, and compassionate person to be with me (and that’s only a small portion of what I would like in a partner)

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  • Haha I'm 38, what makes you think I have never been married or really still am here?

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  • I don't know really. I think it might be my RBF and not noticing that someone is interested and even if they are, I'm kind of weird about it

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  • , mostly because I'm ugly. I also have boundaries. People hate those.

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  • Men do not find me attractive. I’ve never been good at making friends or finding relationships.

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