Would you start doubting yourself as a woman/man if your most recent ex came out openly as gay after you two broke up?

Would you start doubting yourself as a woman/man if your most recent ex came out openly as gay after you two broke up?
Updates:
For those who asked, No. It didn’t happen to me, I read it in a Wattpad novel and was curious.
Oh and by the way smart birds, if someone comments things like “no cause everyone is gay” or “no cause ever man/woman is gay/lesbian deep down.”, I’ll delete your delightful comment cause I’m tired of explaining the obvious.
Toodles.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Actually, it would be a relief because then you know that the reasons the relationship failed was entirely due to factors outside of your control.

    You wouldn't have to worry one second about that the actual reason could be that you sucked as a partner or anything like that.

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  • I dated a girl who cheated on me with multiple people. Chicks, dudes... whatever. - There were a bunch of issues she was having that she hid everything she was doing, but she could probably only do that for so long before it would catch up to her and I happened to be at the start of her rebelling and the end of her trying to behave like "a good girl."

    I jokingly claim that I was so awesome, I ruined other men for her. Like after me, there's no way to do any better than me.

    I just figured out she was having issues way before I came along, and she decided to finally rebel against herself. Gave up on "being the good girl" for lots of casual sex and drugs and other hedonistic stuff, probably felt good and she could piss off her parents, and I was just a side thing she didn't really care about.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • No. They were never straight. People are under the impression that that can make a person turn gay or lesbian. Chances are that person was queer before you became boyfriend and girlfriend or vice versa. You were his beard so people need to be in a heterosexual relationship before they know for sure their sexual identity. Dont take it personally no one is a better actor/actress than a queer person in the closet. Dont make this about yourself your ex has been struggling with it for a while. It doesn't mean you were not good enough it means they are attracted to the same sex as themselves.

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  • No. That person either was bisexual and likes both men and women, or either was gay and lying to himself about beign straight and therefore he probably chose me as a partner not based on a great sexual attraction but friendship or admiration, not because I'm similar to a man or anything like that.

    I know gay guys who had crushes on girls when they were very young, and usually was because they liked their personality and found those girls beautiful. Even if they are not actually sexually attracted they can appreciate female beauty.

    I really don't find anything to doubt about myself, it's just a person who discovers himself.

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What Guys Said 44

  • These comments surprised me. I feel like an authority on this topic because I am bisexual and I have had three lesbian girlfriends. The only thing I would feel is lied to.

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  • Fuck no! People don't turn gay because of past experiences, it was/is in them from the very beginning. At most someone who is bi and has had a bad experience might choose one side or the other but you don't switch teams.

    Could you turn gay over these events? Didn't think so.

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  • No wtf , It’s probably cause they’ve been through shit. I don't know if people are born gay/lesbian or what but if they just came out as lesbian I’d understand.. but I know some people call themselves bisexual cause it’s “trendy”

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  • Bisexuality is no less despised in the straight community, than it is in the LGBT hierarchy,... oops,... I mean "community." People like simple answers to simple questions. How often do we hear the "nature vs nurture" argument, when in reality, they both play strong roles in creating a particular outcome.

    Complexity scares us. It's so much easier to categorize every little thing, rather than worry about all the random events which will befall us which are beyond our control.

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  • I thought girls were bi curious Short Stack? https://s3. amazonaws. com/finecooking. s3. tauntonclud. com/app/uploads/2017/04/18172535/051102039-01-buttermilk-pancakes-recipe-main. jpg

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  • No. Why should I? I had sex with her at least 200 times and made her cum almost every time. We broke up 17 years ago, almost to the day, so what if she decides to swing the other direction? At lest we could chase girls together.

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  • It would definitely make me think, thats for sure. I'm not sure that I would start doubting myself but I would wonder if I should change anything to not attract another 'fence sitter' sexually. Like most guys, I would welcome a bisexual girl into my bed but totaly gay and no longer interested in men is a different story!

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  • Well my ex turned out bi lol
    But I won't doubt myself, I am a man
    And for her goal it was meaningless to me after I knew who she really was... The people you meet on G@G, full of surprises

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  • Nope. My track record as a individual been the same. It's def not me... kinda happened but now she poly.

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  • Lmao. I don't know if this actually happened to you personally or no but yeah that must suck ass. Imagine how bad that individual must have been if they managed to turn their former spouse away from an ENTIRE gender.

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  • Lol no. People don't become gay/bi over night, so it means that I was being lied to from the start. I would be disappointed in them as a person. Why lie about it? It's what you are. Embrace it.

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  • No. If they are gay, that means they were wrong in dating me. It was a mistake from her side. People make mistakes, that's fine. It couldn't have worked, cause obviously I'm not their target demographic.

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  • Nah I would just be proud of them for being open and happy they liked me enough even though I was not their preference.

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  • When you have Pussy, You must be a WOMAN.
    When you have Dick, You must be a MAN.
    So No Doubt, Always TWO Options only... There is Always LEFT and RIGHT and I'm in the RIGHT WAY without Doubt!!!

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  • This actually happened to me once. I honestly didn't care she came up to me and broke up with me because she was gay and was in denial. It happens

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  • I would just be dumbfounded like a motherfucker. Imagine dating a chick who just straight up says she's a lesbian. I'd be wondering who else is catfishing me.

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  • Haven't been in the situation so hard to say for sure
    But I don't think I would
    It would explain why things did not work out

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  • No it just happened to be a coincidence I would feel

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  • That would honestly be hilarious if the reverse happened to me.

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  • I wouldn't care. I would just continue seeing more women.

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  • No. I already know my most recent crush is bi. Doesn't bother me in the least. I know who I am.

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  • No not really, maybe they were questioning their sexuality. I had this happen, I remained her friend and we had minimal akwardness.

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  • No, I would not. I'd be disappointed, but I wouldn't doubt myself if my ex came out as a lesbian.

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  • No. It has nothing to do with me. She was already feeling that way before me probably.

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  • No, I'd think I must be a Sex God to have interested her in the first place.

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  • Nah it would probably be better for her, no man wants to put up with her shit.

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  • Maybe. Never happened in the past, hope it doesn't happen in the future.

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  • It would blow my mind that she hid something like this from me. No I wouldn't doubt myself

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  • no I think I'd be a little confused but I wouldn't doubt myself

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  • Not at all.. He just made a decision.. Maybe he was thinking about it before being with you

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What Girls Said 47

  • No, because I didn’t cause them to turn gay, they were already gay. It wouldn’t be personal to me.

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  • No, I would want my partner to be happy and if being with me and not liking my gender was hurting them I'd let them go, of course it would upset me but I'd understand

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  • Nah... Actually it's kind of obvious, who knows maybe he is 😂

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  • Lmao what does them being gay have to do with who you are?

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    • I when people delete comments because they don't like the answer. Sensitive much I would say.

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    • No of course all people are not gay... did I say that?

    • No, you just didn't read my update well enough to understand.
      I made pretty clear that Im going to deleting the comments of people that say these things.

  • I say I've never been in a serious relationship before but I did grow up with a childhood sweet heart. We went out for years and grew up together. Only recently when he moved to London did he come out and now he has a boyfriend. To be honest I wasn't too suprised as it was pretty obvious.

    Im not mad or up set at him, we were young and he was probably more than likely confused. We're still good friends now and he still says are relationship meant something to him even though he's gay.

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    • I'm just happy for him finally being open about who he really is and being in a good relationship with a lovely man

  • Nah, but I’d probably feel a little hurt that I was just their beard. If they’re gay after, the truth is that they were gay before, and that had nothing to do with me.

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  • that happened to me. my ex came out as gay and i was like “oh shit i made him disgusted by girls. what kind of monster i was and he don’t wanna date with girls no more”. then i tried to comfort myself as “well, he dated with the most amazing girl and he realized he wouldn’t find any better girl than me..” i am still ashamed myself but yeah😞

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  • Nope, i guess in a small way Id be happy that he could stop living a lie, even if I absolutly would feel some heartache for him knowing what he's going to face by being that person. Its not a life that I agree with at all and its not gonna be easy. In a nutshell.

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  • My first didn't openly come out as gay but I figured out he is gay. Didn't make me doubt myself. I just felt stupid.

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  • Nah. Maybe that person didn't realize that he was gay before or just thought he was bi. Maybe he was hiding in the closet the whole time. But I would be mad if he dated me despite knowing that he is gay.

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  • No but I will question my own values and try to change what got me attracted to a gay person in the first place. Certain signs don't lie

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  • Definitely not. Thats probably why your relationship didn't work out... Because he was gay to begin with

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  • Yes. Because all the promises we made were lies and I apparently believed them.

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  • I actually knew a guy that went full on gay, he was bi and actually was obsessed with a girl that didn’t like him back so then he gave up on girls

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  • Nope. My self esteem and femininity is secure. Them being gay is a personal dilemma... for them👀😂

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  • No! Cause It means he likes an other type. That’s it. Not my fault

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  • No I won't, there something wrong with them, Not me

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  • I would be extremely hurt and pissed off being used as a cover up.

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  • Yes honestly I would blame myself -- because I made him realize how useless women can be :/

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  • I wouldn't doubt myself. One of my exes told me that he was bi and he thought I would freak out on him.

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  • Nope! It has nothing to do with me and I'd feel better about the breakup.

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  • No, their choice to honestly express them self has nothing to do with me

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  • No. He was gay all along probably and hide it with a relationship with a girl

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  • Nah, it has nothing to do with you sweetie.

    He is mentally sick.

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  • I think I would, because why would someone who likes men be attracted to me?

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  • No, just because someone has doubted doesn't mean I should.

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  • For a min or 2

    Then laugh my ass off

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  • I would not.

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  • No, not at all. He was always gay.

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  • nope.

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