Within a relationship, should you love yourself more than you love your partner?

Inspired by a gag where a young boy figured he didn’t live his girlfriend anymore because she gained weight.
  • You should always love yourself the most
    Vote A
  • Loving someone else more than you love yourself is more rewarding
    Vote B
  • 👀 dunno what does everyone else think
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I have never been a fan of the self love/self esteem movement.

    There are *PLENTY* of people who loved themselves and had high self esteem who were complete dicks. History is littered with garbage who thought very highly of themselves. High self esteem and self love to not in any way equate to a good, honorable, decent human.

    Now don't get me wrong. Self esteem is a great thing to have (PROVIDED IT IS *EARNED*... and sadly a lot of it isn't). People who have earned the love and esteem of others deserve high self esteem and to love themselves. But I've known PLENTY of people with high self esteem who are dicks and PLENTY with low self esteem who are wonderful, kind, giving, and caring humans.

    As for the necessity to love one's self before you can love others, I say bullshit. I've known MANY who loved people, were in caring committed relationships, and who did not seem to have good self esteem and didn't exhibit much love for themselves (do not confuse taking care for yourself with loving yourself).

    This whole self esteem/love yourself movement started in the 60s and 70s and has demonstrated itself sufficiently for me to believe it's mostly garbage. Amongst the mental health profession, there is a movement backing away from it. Thank God, I say.

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  • I don't know what "loving myself" means. That's always been something that didn't quite connect to me language wise. I've read some definitions of it but the wording still makes me uncomfortable. The descriptions that click with me seem more about "self-awareness" than "love", like not having any unrealistic forms of self-loathing. "Self-awareness" and "self-acceptance", that sort of thing.

    Like, "Yeah, I'm kind of an idiot sometimes. But I enjoy it and I wouldn't have it any other way." That clicks with me.

    But "love" is really something I think is reserved for other people. At least the very essence of the word is not something I think of applying to myself.

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    • Like when I fall in "love" with a girl, I actually fall in love love with her imperfections. I find them adorable. Whereas for me, I don't particularly like my imperfections. I don't hate myself for it but I figure I either change them if I can or accept them if I can't. It's not coming from such a warm and fond place towards myself -- it's somewhat apathetic like, "Whatever, that's just me again."

    • A fundamental component of "love" to me as well is missing someone: the heart grows fonder in their absence, that sort of thing. I don't the chance to miss myself ever. I'm kind of cursed with my own company every single conscious and waking moment. So I figure I'm doing all right if I'm not too annoy myself. I'm like, "Whatever, I can't really do anything about this so might as accept and not be bothered with it." And that's totally different from the kind of love I have externally for people other than me.

    • * I don't [have] the chance to miss myself ever.
      * So I figure I'm doing all right if I'm not too [annoying to] myself.
      * "Whatever, I can't really do anything about this so might as [well] accept and not be bothered with it."

Most Helpful Girl

  • You should love yourself enough to be able to be confident enough for a relationship that's fair to the person you love.. But not to an extent where you get selfish and neglect their feelings. I don't know about loving more or less.. if you love yourself less that can lead to allowing them to manipulate or use you (if they're that kind of person), but loving yourself more than them can lead to selfishness as I said..
    So I guess finding a balance is the best option

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • I always find that if you don't love yourself, you won't be able to have a healthy/loving relationship with another person.

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  • How the hell can you love someone else properly if you don't love yourself? Then you just try to mimic what love is I feel.

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  • It's B. That's how love works. If you don't feel B in your heart, then you aren't in love. It's just that simple.

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  • depends on how she looks like with some extra weight. things that can be worked on actually unlike a deformed face weight is easy to change if the target is willing to.

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  • Loving someone else more than you love yourself is more rewarding

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  • Ince please dm in inbox i am unavailable message u its imp please

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  • You can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself first... so it is said.

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  • Tricky question. Been to in love with yourself is narcissism, not been is low selfs teem.

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  • I'm vain and egocentric, I love myself and some of you are kind OK too.

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  • Loving yourself is critical to being able to love others. Not a selfish love though

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  • Both should be important but you have to be you if you just live for the other only you die inside

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  • You should love yourself more, loving someone else more only gets you hurt

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  • Always yourself most. Your partner will know that and try live you better. It's win win

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  • Not sure

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  • I voted A... you come first...

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  • Loving yourself most is called being honest. We can think that we love the other more, and it's romantic to say, but even when we put them first, it's self-serving.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I always put them first in some areas so it is 50/50

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  • Yeah I love myself more

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  • Nope

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  • A...

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  • You should always love yourself anyway.

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