- You should always love yourself the most
- Loving someone else more than you love yourself is more rewarding
- 👀 dunno what does everyone else think
Most Helpful Guys
I have never been a fan of the self love/self esteem movement.
There are *PLENTY* of people who loved themselves and had high self esteem who were complete dicks. History is littered with garbage who thought very highly of themselves. High self esteem and self love to not in any way equate to a good, honorable, decent human.
Now don't get me wrong. Self esteem is a great thing to have (PROVIDED IT IS *EARNED*... and sadly a lot of it isn't). People who have earned the love and esteem of others deserve high self esteem and to love themselves. But I've known PLENTY of people with high self esteem who are dicks and PLENTY with low self esteem who are wonderful, kind, giving, and caring humans.
As for the necessity to love one's self before you can love others, I say bullshit. I've known MANY who loved people, were in caring committed relationships, and who did not seem to have good self esteem and didn't exhibit much love for themselves (do not confuse taking care for yourself with loving yourself).
This whole self esteem/love yourself movement started in the 60s and 70s and has demonstrated itself sufficiently for me to believe it's mostly garbage. Amongst the mental health profession, there is a movement backing away from it. Thank God, I say.
I don't know what "loving myself" means. That's always been something that didn't quite connect to me language wise. I've read some definitions of it but the wording still makes me uncomfortable. The descriptions that click with me seem more about "self-awareness" than "love", like not having any unrealistic forms of self-loathing. "Self-awareness" and "self-acceptance", that sort of thing.
Like, "Yeah, I'm kind of an idiot sometimes. But I enjoy it and I wouldn't have it any other way." That clicks with me.
But "love" is really something I think is reserved for other people. At least the very essence of the word is not something I think of applying to myself.
Most Helpful Girl
You should love yourself enough to be able to be confident enough for a relationship that's fair to the person you love.. But not to an extent where you get selfish and neglect their feelings. I don't know about loving more or less.. if you love yourself less that can lead to allowing them to manipulate or use you (if they're that kind of person), but loving yourself more than them can lead to selfishness as I said..
So I guess finding a balance is the best option