Is not getting enough attention a good reason to break up?

[Dause]

It can be a valid reason, but it depends on what the actual circumstances are.

I actually had this one ex who complained for a similar reason. She did not work, made small crafts for spare money, and similarly did not drive. However, because of her schoolwork (still in HS at the time), crafts, and housework she believed she was busy. (She lived at her parents)

I was just starting on taking college classes, waking up early every morning for Army Physical Training, and also working nights as a cook. Then on top of that I was also driving an extra hour out of my commute most days to see her.

I had very little time to make or be with friends because I was too busy, and so I didn't make many friends. When she complained more I ended up skipping out on what little time I was originally hanging out with them, to make sure she felt she had enough attention. So it ended up I had no friends accept the ones that were also her friends.

She later felt I was too needy, because I had basically cut everyone not related to her put of my life. Then it was a back and forth thing. More or less it ended with her cheating on me with one of our good 'mutual friends' while I was away with the military and her saying she really just didn't want to be with me, and saying that was more why she complained.

She 'got all the kids (friends) in the Divorce' and I ended up being friendless and badly depressed for a fairly long period of time.

You have to know what sort of person they are. If the guy is that way because he is getting overworked and pulled 20 million ways...

There is a reason they have the 'Through hard times' part of vows. It is impossible to not have hard times in a relationship. You have to be able to place yourself in other's shoes, and you shouldn't be forcing the guy to give up time with friends if he has very little in the first place.

You need to leave the person you date with a person outside you, if you want them to lead a healthy lifestyle.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Other guy friends... and you expected they'd say something positive about a guy you're currently choosing to fuck rather than them? ... I mean are you fucking serious about that? Ask women or men that hate you, maybe your Dad... not guy friends... that just sounds stupid.

I bet you are being too needy. You don't fill your own void so to speak. I'm kind of emotionally attached to your issue right now because my attention hungry woman won't even give me a moment to smoke a cigar by myself... but despite loving to enjoy some time just to myself, I do try to listen to her stupid bullshit, and try to ignore that she doesn't give a shit/ignores me when I talk about anything I'm enthusiastic about... science, nature, politics, etc. I try to deal with my woman's excessive mushy romance bullshit... but come on... don't you have like a hobby? but she does... romance films. I get like 1h 20min break and then she comes at me horny as fuck.

I'll admit it... I'm not trying either. She has nothing I want and my nutts are drained already. I want some time alone. If she wants me to want her, maybe if she did something that made me want her... not shit like talking to her guy friends though.

Sorry for that rant... I'm not looking for sympathy or trying to be a dick to you, but maybe my non-'guy friend' but still a guy perspective might give you a different viewpoint to look at it with.

[Crystal28]

If his response is “I can do what I want” and not a sincere apology where he listens to how you feel, changes his behaviour and makes sure you are now feeling more appreciated and acknowledged, move on. But it also depends on whether you’re telling the full truth or not. If you constantly nag him or are very confrontational about it, he might be pulling away and needing some space. Maybe you should also reflect on how you address the issue and decide whether that could be playing a part in it too. But if not, I think you’ve done everything you need to do, so just move on. If he misses you and cares for you he will come back. If not, he was never worth it and isn’t missing you enough to return and make it work.

[Pinay_ako]

It is a good reason to break up when you feel the relationship is one sided - which is what your relationship is right now... Talk to him about your feelings and if his actions are not backing up his words, let him go.

[ragequeen]

Every reason for break up is valid if you find yourself being unhappy. If attention is what ou need and want, that's what you need and want. People have different preferences, and they should be respected. If you're not happy in this relationship, get out, it's as simple as that. Try at least to talk to him, and if he doesn't take you seriously, RUN 😂

[Purpleronnie]

I think if it’s eating at you you need to talk about it , perhaps agree a date night.. sounds like he has lost his way a little.. if you love him and still want to be with him and him the same then it’s worth the extra effort. Sometimes it’s like this in the relationships I think. Me , I’d wanna know I done all I could before walking away :)

[Makeuphoarder]

Sounds like you aren't his priority & you're more mature & ready for a serious, more committed relationship. Don't accept less , don't make excuses for him. Yes you should keep busy with friends families & hobbies & give him some space & time to enjoy his life away from you but.. you should be given attention especially since you are voicing your concerns. Don't accept empty promises either.

[Felinegirl]

Yes it is. A relationship is about spending quality time and being there with and for each other. I broke up with a guy because I did not get the attention I needed. It made me feel lonely, unappreciated and insecure. All those feelings disappeared after the breakup.

[emmily2396]

Well, in your case yes. You're not needy for needing attention. Everyone needs some attention, that's why you are together.
Needy would be for example someone who freaks out if their SO didn't answer their text for an hour especially when they know they are busy.
Not talking in a week is too much. He should ay least have called once to see how you are doing. I doubt he doesn't have 10 minutes to check on you, you were just not a priority. And his response was very insensitive, like he doesn't really care.

[NineBreaker]

The solution top your problem is for you to stop being needy. I'm not saying that you should change how you feel; I'm saying DON'T ACT on these feelings.

There is some validity to reverse psychology: if you chase after someone they run from you, and if you ignore them they run to you.
I don't know if he's doing that intentionally, but it's affecting you that way. You chasing him is making him run away, and him running away is making you chase after him.

My advice is, just take it easy, and take it in stride. First case scenario, your relationship is over and you just move on and learn from your experiences.

[BigRob420]

Your other guy friends are trying to sleep with you. What's more important in a relationship for you, feeling like the center of attention or being with a real person. Going out with other men when you don't receive enough attention from your S. O. will lead you down a path of endless bad relationships.

[Pandora91]

I had a crazy girlfriend once who says she doesn't wanna be bothered and gets mad when I try to give her attention but when I backed off she started complaining about not giving her attention and when I started she then complained again she didn't wanna be bothered lol

[Wolfy39]

in my opinion, the moment you feel the relationship isn't fullfilling your emotional needs, might as well leave. I had similar craving, before. I wanted us to pass more time together, hang out more, chat more and be her focus when we are together... but alas, she unwilling to give part of that... we had different mindsets and views and interests in how it should be. Move along and find someone who can do that for you.

[Salsacumbia]

Go and find something you like doing and if he says hey lets hang out? Then tell him "i can do whatever i want" throught it back to him, and see how he likes it, then break up with him. He is playing you, so play back. Thats what i would do... my own opinion.

[MasterKey18]

He is weak and so are his excuses. He isn't putting enough into your relationship which gets very tiresome here.
Maybe he should find someone who is this Trophy wife, he can leave on a shelf until it is convenient for him to dust her off and use her.
You need a man who feels you, not misuses you.

[lanabug]

Depends on why I'm not getting attention. If he's depressed then I'd understand. If he's cheating or doesn't love me then I'd break up with him. I'd just ask him why he's not giving me attention and I'll make a decision.

[melanieeeB]

If one is not satisfied with whatever in the relationship, I would say both should talk about the issue and try to find a solution together, if that doesn't work then I don't see a reason to stay

[Kenni]

I doubt you can get any better. The honeymoon phase fades fast and it is inevitable that you won't get as much attention as you used to. If you can't handle that you're not ready for a real relationship.

[AbigaylesAdventures]

Just talk to him. Say that if you guys don’t both put in the effort then it may not work for very long. But don’t be selfish about it towards him or he will be sour about it. Hope I helped. 😊

[jvenmo]

You are not asking too much at all. You deserve attention from someone who is willing to give you his time and if he doesn't see it as a big deal then he doesn't value you the way he should. If you've told him how you felt and he still hasn't changed his actions then it's your choice to stay in that situation or leave and find better for yourself.

[Anonymous]

I’ll be honest! Guys do what they please you can’t force then to give you the attention you want. But at least try to tell him that you miss spending time with him next time you too hang out. Ask him on a date and just let it out...

[Oxxymoron]

Absolutely. Why be with someone who doesn’t make you feel like you’re wanted around? For that be single and get ignored for other reasons lol

[AynonOMouse]

Each partner needs to make an effort to spend time together. That being said, for future reference most guy friends will always side against anything your boyfriend does because many of them are there hoping to get you for themselves.
I'd bet soon after you leave him one of your guy friends asks you out because he "suddenly realized" he likes you.

[1truekhaleesi]

If you don’t give each other love and affection, what’s the point of being in a relationship?