What is your biggest concern about finding happiness in a marriage or cohabiting long term relationship?

The honeymoon is definitely over!
The honeymoon is definitely over!
Everything slowly changes when you live together. Once you are living together, many of the things we do to be polite seem to fall by the wayside. It may be quite common place to see your girlfriend sitting on the toilet or to hear your boyfriend blowing his nose. The veils slowly drop and you see the unfiltered version of the person you thought was Mr. or Ms. Right. They may say things that they previously would have not expressed. They may still be Mr. or Ms. Right but you are obviously seeing them differently.

There are challenges in getting accustomed to seeing the same person every morning and every night. What is your biggest concern about a long term relationship or marriage? What do you think is the most likely potential problem that you will encounter?
  • My partner will get bored with me sexually
    Vote A
  • We will run out of things to talk about
    Vote B
  • I will start aging and my partner won't still be attracted to me
    Vote C
  • My partner will have weird kinks or won't accept my weird kinks
    Vote D
  • We won't agree about having children
    Vote E
  • We won't have other friends any more
    Vote F
  • Other
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I have many. One of my biggest fears would be to become too comfortable with the relationship, to take it for granted and then realize that one of us is not in love anymore. Another big concern would be that the other person would want to transgress ethical behavior in an attempt to not get bored with the relationship. I would also worry about not being capable of withstanding difficult obstacles or hardships.

    What I have learned so far is that staying in love in the long run is not effortless and it requires self-sacrifice from both parties. Thinking otherwise leads to the state of feeling 'in love' to wear off.

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  • C is women's greatest enemy... something I can't change... i still look younger than my age so that a good thing :)
    the other stuff i am pretty flexible

    when you have a partner who loves you, compatible with you, most stuff can be compromise.

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    • I look younger than my age and I have a 57 year old girlfriend who can't always keep up with me! :) :) :) I don't think guys worry about aging and what it will do to their appearance; a guy's concern is that his willy will go into early retirement!

    • you can help her work on that area... practice makes perfect right? lol

      aging is every womens nightmare... i am not sure...
      retiring too soon will not be fun for the man... every mans' nightmare?

Most Helpful Guys

  • I used to fear of falling out of love when my girlfriend and I got too comfortable with each other but it turned out everything is still going well, despite the repetition, accustomed to seeing each other all the time and the predictability of sex. My biggest concern at the moment is that my girlfriend changed her mind about not wanting a child and now she wants one. My concerns with this are that we both are not financially prepared to take on the responsibilities of a child and secondly, we both have unfavorable genes that include asthma, vision problems and temper with anger that could be inherited to our child.

    I have no worries about the relationship and bond we have together but this sudden change could end up becoming a deal breaker since we both can't agree on the same idea, especially a critical one like having a child. Thankfully we are both giving each other time to reconsider our options but I'm dead set on not having children since I wouldn't want any unnecessary complications. It'll be interesting to see how this turns out.

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    • 2d

      Your generousity is most appreciated! Thank you very much :)

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • Afraid of him getting bored with me sexually even though I'll be open to try new things except cuckhold, lol. I'm not worried about running out of things to talk about, as I am very talkative and I can easily come up with stuff. I actually think aging is a beautiful and interesting process. I would like to see smile lines and stuff. I won't fet into relationship with someone unless he express how much he loves kid and would like to be father someday.. So, yes, the first thing is what I am really concerned about

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  • All of those things.

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  • I think mine is definitely on the sexual life. I personally don't watch porn, I don't even fangirl over hot dudes with hot bodies, and knowing that guys are all exposed to pornography and other things highly sexualizing the image of women, and often these women do a lot of weird cringy stuff... I just realized that a lot of things that I come across on social media at times that make me cringe are the exact same things that turn guys on (in my mind I think, guys turn on by this crap? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww).

    I feel like I can never be that hyper graphic level, it's so unrealistic and sometimes even unhealthy. Like some Instagram women posting pictures/videos in all those weird-ass positions that is simply asking for a broken backbone.

    Everything has become about aesthetics and it is impossible to meet these standards, and for me it feels not even like the tip of the iceberg. I don't watch porn so I am not even aware of so much more stuff that I'm supposed to feel insecure about, things that my future husband might expect from me.

    It doesn't necessarily mean that these men are bad people though. It just happens naturally when you are used to the graphic stuff and you no more feel satisfaction with anything ordinary. He might be understanding but what if he bottles up his dissatisfaction so that I don't feel upset and it just leads to something worse? I mean, this subject bothers me a lot and every time this topic comes up when I text my boyfriend, World War III begins. Of course it would happen with the level of anxiety the thought gives me. Even writing this rant made me tear up

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    • I seriously hope this is just my bad anxiety and not the reality. Even though I heard of divorces because husband wanted his wife to perform pornstar level.

    • Show All
    • @cavmanier it has nothing to do with here and there.

    • 7d

      I don't understand, but I guess it doesn't really matter.

  • My biggest fear is that my partner will eventually get tired of me (non-sexually) and will want to leave me. But I think it's just me being insecure about myself.

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  • I’m worried I will not be able to have guy friends, been around my brothers and my brothers friends turned me into a tomboy plus it doesn’t help that I been a loner to. I’m comfortable with what I know and been surrounded by. Every relationship when I’m honest about male friends all it causes is trust issues.

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  • This is going to sound so petty, but I'd be most scared of getting bored sexually with him, not the other way around.

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  • Boredom kills relationships

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  • Privacy

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  • Them being unsupportive.

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  • I won't be able to fart when he's with me.

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What Guys Said 15

  • I fear the most that she may get bored of me, both personality-wise and sexually.

    We have already seen the worst and the best of each other before getting together, so we haven't any surprise.

    Although I don't want to run too fast, she seems the person that's looking for a long-term and solid relationship and I want to be up for the challenge.

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  • Not finding the right person of course
    That mainly means they won't have ethics and attitude to my standard.
    Also though:
    Long term sexual compatibility is a decent concern
    Also I found girls to generally be extremely picky so of course I need one that accepts me

    I'm not holding my breathing.

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  • My biggest concern of having a long term relationship while cohabiting with the same woman is that she may get bored of me or doesn't find me exciting anymore one day and then decides that she "deserves better" and "deserves to be happier" and just slips away or does things behind my back. I'm talking about hypergamy. You as a man can never win in that unless you don't enter in a relationship at all.

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  • Out of all these I'd have to pick sexual boredom/ an affair.
    I have trust issues, somewhat.
    I've just seen how people can be, how well they can lie

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    • That is a very difficult problem to address because anything that a good, trustworthy partner can do to encourage trust is something that a snake-in-the-grass partner can also do. And, of course, not being able to trust your partner usually causes additional problems.

      I have never cheated once in my almost 64 years on this planet. When we were married, my ex constantly suggested that I was being unfaithful. Being unjustly accused - repeatedly - has a special sting like none other.

    • True. That definitely doesn't sound fun

  • All of the above... And I'd like to add that what if they get bored of me... That they won't find me to be a nice dude... That I will be change in their eyes... And then they fall out of love with me or no longer want to be with me

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  • Yes I haven't seen any woman naked. I will find it difficult to stop looking if I accidentally saw any girl naked , but I'll try hard not to look.

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    • Oops, I thought oh was typing in the reply box, apologies!

  • We'd have a misunderstanding and fall apart. That's my biggest fear.

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  • All of those things plus the likelihood of cheating.

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  • I fear getting involved with someone, and then out of nowhere she's going to want kids. No thanks

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  • My biggest concern is them not loving me the same as I love them

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  • Financial rape in a divorce.

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    • 5d

      The horror stories that you hear either represent a very small percentage of cases or they re gross exaggerations from guys who thought that their wife should have received nothing because "all she did was stay home with the kids"while he worked and earned a paycheck.

  • I'm afraid of it never happening.

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  • A. A lot of women cheat out of boredom

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  • not finding a compatible partner in general.

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  • G. I'll never have a partner

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