Is it ok to read your partners phone?

Is it ok to read your partners phone?
I think not because it means they dont trust you?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Of course. My parents use each other's phones, computers all the time. My dad leaves his computer unattended at home. I believe in sharing everything in a marriage. There should be no secrets.

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  • it depends. do you have a good reason to? my ex would always leave when he got a call, he also put a password on his phone something he never did before. one time i asked jokingly if he's cheating on me, of course he said no. so instead of obsessing over it i snooped and there was all the proof i needed to dump his cheating ass. most people will lie and tell you they aren't cheating. i don't think snooping is wrong so long as you don't get caught and you don't become an obsessive stalker girlfriend obsessing over his every move.

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    • It is those types of actions that
      lead one to suspect someone
      has been up to no good.

      Passwords and leaving the presence of your partner to
      take a call in the garage, back
      yard, in the car or upstairs
      restroom with the tub running.

      Lmao How will trust ever start
      when they begin on deceit?

Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't mind at all if my girl would read each and everything on my phone anytime she wants because if I am honest I don't need to hide anything from her, she is the most personal person to me hence there is nothing to hide unless I am doing something that needs to be hidden only then I will pour in the personal space privacy like things for my better sake, over the time she loses her interest in doing that if she never find anything of her business and she would start to trust you more, I think trust is something you need to earn first it doesn't come by itself unless it would be called a blind trust which is not good, I think people should give reason to their partner to trust them instead of asking that dark private isolated space which is always doubtful and people do use that space to cheat always time is a witness, people who are not honest have problem with that.

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    • wow, we have a meeting of minds. i honestly don't understand the people on here whining about their right to "privacy." please. privacy is a figment of the imagination.

    • @DianaWest that's right, there is no privacy with your very private ones.

  • Depends on the situation. I usually would advise no. However, my wife of 25 years was acting strangely. I looked in her phone and found calls to a Family Law Attorney. The forewarning of what she plotted allowed me time to plan to limit the financial hemorrhaging which would inevitably follow. That is a different circumstance though. I am single again and would not do so to my girlfriend and I would be furious if she did mine. I have seen insecure females on this site (mostly in their 20s) indicate that if the boyfriend puts a passcode on his telephone or does not give her that passcode then he is hiding something. They seem to feel they have free browsing rights into your messages and phone calls. WTF?

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 67

  • Everyone has a right to privacy, that would be disrespectful.

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    • i don't understand this "privacy" crap. if you are in a committed relationship, trust, faith, and disclosure are important. "privacy" makes it possible for cheaters to get away with it. i would have absolutely 0 issue with my man checking my phone/laptop.

    • @DianaWest I have to agree, but still you have to be able to have private conversations with friends that you want kept to yourself. I would not look myself unless I suspected something was illegal or a question of cheating. All is fair in love and war.

  • Um, maybe. Depends on the circumstances.

    But most of the time, it's probably not ok, especially if you're being controlling and jealous with no reason to be so.

    I couldn't care less if any of my partners or friends saw what was on my phone. Nothing I'm hiding there, no secrets. But no one likes nosy snoops who don't trust them either. Would you?

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  • Not a fan of snooping. My phone and my sketchbooks are private to me. It's not because I have anything to hide, it's just because I do things and create things without the intention of anyone ever seeing it. These are things that only I get and understand, and letting someone into it leaves it up to judgement and interpretation that I dont want to deal with.

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  • of course it is. if you have nothing to hide, why you making a fuss for? privacy is bullcrap. the only people who want "privacy" are those who are clearly hiding something they don't want you to find. i would gladly and willingly write down my password for my future man to have all access. (only to my phone though, NEVER to my bank account or other personal info. i don't trust anyone that much).

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  • When I use my phone I make sure it’s where my boyfriend can see it that way he knows I have nothing to hide.

    His last girlfriend cheated on him so I want him to know for a fact that there’s no funny business.

    He’d never go through my phone, but he seems to appreciate the full honesty.

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  • Just ask. I have access to my boyfriend's phone simply because it's easier if he needs me to search something or GPS or even "hey reply to this person for me".

    BUT. yeah i get curious or insecure, so he's okay with me checking some stuff if it helps me reassure myself.
    And it's just trust.

    (oh and his fingerprint works for my phone too) (mutual trust)

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  • nothing to hide in right relationship.
    if you are sharing your most intimate part of your life (sex, love) then all other aspect should be shared...

    the result of the vote shows lock of trust and respect.

    expecting some downvotes here...

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  • I have nothing to hide, but I'd feel insulted if they went out of their way to snoop through it, especially if for instance I was sleeping. That said, my partner and I frequently use each other's phones if one is closer when we're in bed, has more charge etc, and things pop up every now and again.

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  • If you feel the need to go through their phone, that shows there is trust lacking in the relationship, which I wouldn't count as 'okay'.

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  • yeah i do bc we have nothing to hide we both read what each other is doing and who we are talking to... not out of jealousy but just bc we are curious what other people are saying lol. i DO NOT do is physically pick up his phone and look through it.

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  • No no no and hell no such behavior is the reason people put passwords on their phone just to have a bit of privacy. I mean if this person is your partner chances are you know everything about them every move and their phone is one part of their lives that belongs to them

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  • Unless they allow you to, then no. If it gets to the point where you’re thinking about taking their phone without their permission and looking through it, then you need to seriously think about the lack of trust in the relationship.

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  • I say if they give permission to, it’s fine. I’m an open book, I have very little to hide. If my partner were to ask me, I’d have no hesitation. However, if he were to ask me constantly, appearing that he does not trust me, then I’d have an issue with it.

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  • No, I don't think so. It shows that you don't respect your partner and that you don't trust them.
    Just because you're in a relationship, it doesn't mean you don't have a right of privacy.

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  • Think, there is a reason why your thinking of doing that! You don't trust them. I had the same thought of doing to my ex (now) and is when I realized why? If I'm feeling and thinking like that there is a big problem. I don't trust him my gut is saying.

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  • No, it's not. Everybody deserves their privacy without someone assuming they have something to hide. I'm an honest person, an open book. I could be asked almost anything I would tell you the truth, I have nothing to hide. However, I would never be comfortable with someone I'm seeing wanting to read my text and emails, that would bother me. If there's something they need to know, I will tell them. If there's something they want to know they can ask and I will answer honestly but they don't need to have access to my personal stuff because that's invasion of privacy and I'm not cool with that.

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    • The chosen one!

    • Why do you need privacy from your own partner?

    • @Pumpkinspicevanilla maybe privacy isn't the right word, it's a kind an invasion of ones personal space to have to share all your personal info, and emails, texts, etc with someone you are dating. There is no reason for someone to say "let me see your phone", relationships are about communication. So, they could just ask who you are texting or emailing and if there's anything they need to know.

  • No, Trust is important. If I have been driven to read messages after multiple attempts at honesty and I find something I’m clearly in the wrong relationship.

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  • No what's the point if it's not your phone u don't need to look at it. If you feel you need to then you don't trust your partner and that's a bigger problem.

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  • If you have their permission, yes. But if you're already at the stage you feel the need to look through their phones, you won't be in a relationship for much longer

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  • I don’t think it’s a big deal if they show you something and you look at it but if you’re all up in their business when it’s not your business in the first place, it’s a bit much.

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  • I’m often just curious what they talk about with others, I also have that with my friends, so sometimes they just let me read a conversation or something, because I like seeing a different side of them

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  • Honestly, I don’t care if he looks through mine. I’ll give it to him personally. But I also want to look through his.

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  • I believe at a certain point in the relationship (aka once you guys are REALLY comfortable) then there isn’t really a need to keep your phone private. Trust shouldn’t rely on being blind and being protective of your phone. I believe that searching through conversations with friends is an invasion absolutely. But if your partner gets scared and wants to check to see if you are messaging anyone (girls or guys) in a flirty way or cheating then that should be ok. Why hide your phone. Why blindly trust?

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  • I mean it depends why, if u just want to like mess with them or u need to borrow it to text someone then sure, it’s find but if ur snooping just for the sake of it thats nkt good

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  • Depends but should be ok and vice versa. I have nothing to hide.

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  • Ask them first. If they're okay with showing you, go right ahead. Relationship doesn't mean you can invade him or her wherever or whenever you like. That's called snooping, my friend. If you're doubtful that they're cheating on you, pay attention. You can tell a lot by observation. instead of privacy invasion! One of my friend every once in a while deletes all the female contacts of her lover's phone, I mean what's the use? Do you not trust him? Are ten female phone numbers enough for you do become insecure? Jealousy DOES keep a relationship alive, but don't go on keeping tabs on your partner. Whoever they talk to you is none of your concern. If they're honest behind your back even when you're not checking, its meant to be. They're a keeper. Don't let 'em go!😚

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  • i feel like snooping is wrong because trust. although the other person should not have anything to hide in a relationship

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  • I now s someone who did/still does this. And you only get half the story and you jump to conclusions and it just hurts people. I also feel like it’s really controlling

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  • If he's given you a reason to believe he's hiding something you have the right to know. Otherwise no.

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  • It's wrong and its an invasion of privacy. But im not going to hold you, I read anyone's phone if it's open in front of me.

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    37

What Guys Said 120

  • All the stuff that could taint someone's idea of me is safely locked away in my head. That being said she can read anything I write so long as I'm there to explain it as she goes. So nothing is taken out of context.

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  • If it's okay for them that I read their texts, I know there's nothing to worry about and probably won't have the inclination.

    Because I know damn well I never gave a shit if someone reads my shit unless I had something to hide. Been there and know first hand why I did that.

    So I'd say it shouldn't be a problem... unless you do have something to hide, and then it sure is.

    BUT...

    On the other hand if your cool with it, have nothing to hide, and they have the constant inclination to snoop through your shit without any reason you have presented them with to do so... I'm going to guess they have a guilty conscious. They themselves have, wants, or is using their texts for shady shit they hide from you. Their guilt gets reflected by assuming you're like they are... that's when I'm like, "I'll go through your phone then." ... and as always I'm left thinking, "why the sudden guilty panic?" The girl can't even let me hold her phone without her policing what I'm doing... I'm sure some women have ran into that shit with their guilty ass guys too.

    In short, it should be okay, unless there's something there that's wanting to be kept private and unknown.

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  • With this current generation, where oversharing things on social media is the norm, I'm not surprised that they are so many young people who think that this is okay.

    My parents have never once read each other's emails or texts. And guess what, they've been married for 50+ years.

    But, what do I know? I'm the person who prefers to talk to people on the phone instead sending a text. My time on this Earth has come and gone.

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  • It's never okay. Also, you don't ask them if you can look. If you ask and they say no, you will then think they are hiding something. If they give it to you to show you something, you don't take that as permission to go through the phone. You look at whatever they are showing and give it back.

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  • I think that in any relationship there must always be Love, Integrity, Trust, Commitment and Respect of privacy from both people. If either, one want to communicate something important they can simply talk it out together.
    Therefore, by not having respect for the other persons privacy, this would be showing complete disrespect.

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  • "I think not because it means they don't trust you?" Shouldn't you have said, "it means that you do not trust them."?

    If you are at a point where you think you are justified in violating your partner's right to privacy, the relationship is probably already over but you just don't yet realize it.

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  • NO! We all need privacy regardless of how much we love and trust someone. Plus, there are things that are simply best to keep to yourself. And that makes sense. So if someone cannot accept my privacy then they are not partner material.

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  • Many sees it as untruthful or partners NOT trusting each other while i see it as comfort and somehow lazy (we read texts and mails for each other) and none of us has anything to hide from the other. Some are very careful and goes full privacy rage mode about their OWN partner snooping around in their things which means you are hiding something but at the same time you want people to trust you, not sure how that combo works but hey! It's your life and you are the master of it.

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    • It's not about hiding anything, it's just very disrespecful to be looking through people's stuff without their permission.

    • Show All
    • Looking through another person's private property (spouse) without permission is showing a lack of trust.

      If you truly trust them then there is zero need to be reading or looking through their phone when you have your own.

      It's wrong to do that. Period. If that's what you like so be it, but I don't like people touching my phone if its a girlfriend or wife without permission.

    • @Hispanic-Cool-Guy Sure! Have it your way. I just find it fascinating how people are so attached to their phones more than they are attached to their partners. Sure! Let your 10 years partner ask for a permission every single time to look into your phone. And once again! You are the master of your life, have it your way because am having it my way.
      Question? I hear/read a lot about this going through your bf/gf phone thing but in reality how often does it happen? Like the SO will check like 3-5 times a day in your phone? Am just curious here i see many people ask about it here , at least 2 questions a day while checking on g@g

  • I say yes. If you can't share your phone then you are not a honest person. Its a red flag.
    Mind you you dont do it everyday.
    Wanting to see it all the time. No thats not right shows insecurities in your partner.
    But if your honest you will share everything in the relationship.
    The relationship won't last if guys hide girls on the phone or girls hiding guys on her phone.
    Trust broken in a relationship is doomed.

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  • It's an issue. I don't think in a relationship your phone is a private thing anymore, nor should you have anything on it that would create a problem. It is just too dangerous, that does not mean I'm going to check it.

    look at the same situation with tennage kids... they can get into a world of hurt fast using those things... and some do.

    I could change my mind on this:)

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  • Yes if you ask first and they allow it. If not then it's wrong and disrespectful to read their texts. Everyone deserves a bit of privacy and even if they don't mind you reading their texts the person that they're texting may be texting something personal and in confidence to your SO and might not want you reading it.

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  • only time it is ok is IF and only IF they say it's ok and/or ask you to read it... personally i wouldn't feel right looking either way but if any partner asked me to read their messages for my opinion on them... then I would only read the one's they asked me to then give my opinion purely on those, I would never be tempted to read anymore than what has that would be wrong

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  • Generally, No. The navy be done confidential information in there.
    For example, I work at a hospital and we use a communication software that contains protected health information. By law, I'm not allowed to give anyone access to this software, whether or not I trust someone else with access to my phone.

    I treat smartphones like diaries. Unless I give you permission, or it's required by law, I'm not obligated to give anyone access to my phone.

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  • Yes because I have nothing to hide. My life would be wide open to her and there would be no secrets from her, so what's the issue? If I was a cheater and wanted to hide, maybe I would come out with the privacy excuse like I see some people using on this post. What else is there so terrible to keep private? A text dialogue between your parents?

    I mean... it's a relationship... they are supposed to be close, personal, and intimate

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  • I mean, it all depends on where you are in the relationship and privacy over some other matters in your personal life that you don't want to get entangled with your relationship.

    Personally, I gave my girlfriend free reign to look through my phone. I have nothing to hide, so why bother? I have her fingerprint to unlock it, she knows the manual passcode, and I gave her the ability to look through my texts, gallery, whatever she wants.

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  • I have no issue with my wife reading or going through
    our smartphones. Noticed,
    I said ours... Our home, our
    food, our kids with zero to
    hide, so out the window with
    that invasion of privacy shit
    in our marriage. I don't feel
    violated because she does
    trust me and I her.

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  • I don't mind, my life partner can look through my phone. Assuming I'm married, I have taken a vow to share my life with that person. That includes my real and digital life. She can check through whatever she wants, I got nothing to hide.

    The only exception is that I'd like her not to play on my video games due to the possibility of her fucking my save up 😳

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  • I say it is only ever okay to go through personal email or text only if the other partner in question (male or female) have given consent. If you don’t trust your partner it sounds like an issue you must bring up rather than snoop, don’t give them a reason to not trust you off a suspicion you have. They don’t break your trust until they do as I like to think of it.

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  • Not without their permission.
    I wouldn't really care much if a partner reads my texts, since the only possible thing I may be hiding is a surprise for her.
    That being said, unless you're shady af, there's no reason why your partner should be reading your texts.

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  • I've been with my girlfriend for over 4 years never do I ever look at her phone.

    Once every few months I might ask who she's talking to but mostly out of curiosity

    Love shouldn't have doubt. Love is pure. Give it your all

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  • In general, no. It shows a deep lack of respect, trust and maturity.

    There are situations when it's appropriate, obviously, but that's a different case altogether.

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  • If you think something is actually up, then go for it. I was suspicious of my ex fiancé and I grabbed her phone and looked at it and my suspicions were correct. I ended the engagement and thank god I didn’t have an expensive divorce to deal with had I not looked.

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  • No matter what he says. It's not a good idea.
    I would never look through my woman's purse and I would never pick up her phone and try and read it it is absolutely none of my business.
    If you don't trust your life partner Life Partner !!!
    If I though you were even thinking about looking at my phone.
    That's when I start looking for a different place to live.

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  • Only when your partner is okay with it in specific circumstances. You should never go through their phone without their consent.

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  • it depends what u are doing on your SO phone
    if u are looking for conversations with other girls , from few months or years even before u me him or her u are just untrustworthy person

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  • I want to say yes. But every time that happens I'm accused of shit I didn't do. And never get the chance to explain. So no.

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  • No, if you feel the need to go through someone's texts you clearly don't trust them and you shouldn't be with them.

    If they voluntarily show you something without you asking (i. e. a funny text someone else sent), that's a different story.

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  • That is a tough one. I'd say not unless you're really concerned about something serious.

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  • If I had have read my ex-wife's messages my marriage could have be saved. If your partner is hiding messages and passwords they are obviously doing something they don't want you to see. That should be a red-flag for anyone with half a brain.

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  • I respect my wife's privacy. She respects mine.

    Any relationship is about trust.

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