What does he mean he doesn't want a relationship right now?

This guy pretty much told me that he didn't want to have a relationship with me. I was a little offended at first, but I felt a little better because I finally knew where I stood. He was like "I guess we're dating, but I don't want to be married in college".should I take this to offense. It makes me wonder a little because I don't know if this means he wants to be with other girls.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "I don't want a relationship right now" usually means "I don't want a relationship right now". He was a nice guy for explaining himself to you; he didn't have to--I woudn't. You could take offence if you wanted to, but he's right: college is too soon to get married. Better for your relationship though if just acknowleged his feelings, and told him you wanted to be exclusive, if that's what you want.

    • Yep, he sounds like a good guy as he has his emotions in check.

    • So why wouldn't you be honest with a woman? You are old enough to tell people like it is. I'd thank a guy for being honest with me and if I liked him, I'd probably give it a little while before getting bored. If a guy just strung me along without even telling me, I'd get bored and start the process of getting over him. It's much better to be cruel to be kind. It's really not cruel at all.

    • "It's much better to be cruel to be kind. It's really not cruel at all"

      Bravo! My worst mistake, ever, was learning this the hard way.

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What Guys Said 3

  • first of all don't take any offense cos he certainly didn't wanna hurt you in any way.

    it mite mean that he just wants to have the college experience he sees in the movies (american pie, etc) wild crazy nights where anythin can happen.but if he has a girlfriend he's gotta tone down and behave a lot more.then again it could just mean that he doesn't wanna get involved in anythin too serious bcoz he can't see him self "taken" at this age.

    also if you two aren't going to the same college, he mite see that it is easier to go there single, instead of you two having to break up.

  • he's being nice.

  • he doesn't like you.


What Girls Said 3

  • ugh well I just got out of a non-relationship where we dated for two months, after him telling me he didn't want a relationship "yet", and then he broke up with me for the reason that "he didn't want a relationship".

    Personally I think it was stupid of me for continuing to date/hook up with him even after he told me he didn't want a relationship. Not that I think I am completely ready for a relationship either, but I was willing to try, and he wasn't.

    It ended up being a very non-fulfilling experience cause he wouldn't make any effort to call me or talk to me, and basically just let things fall apart after a while.

    It gets really stressful being in that kind of relationship cause you never know how the other person feels about you because they will never call you their girlfriend and probably not make public displays of affection with you around their friends (ie. holding hands, etc.).

    So I would advice against it.

    HOWEVER if this is the kind of thing you think you want right now, then go for it.

    But from my past experience, it kinda sucks.

    If he REALLY liked you, wouldn't he want to try for a relationship? Or at least keep that option open for the future?

    • That sounds exactly like my situation bar the fact the guy did exactly the opposite. He'd be highly attentive and affectionate in front of his friends when we were out but then last week I get a text of all things telling me that he can't give me a relationship, he's not ready for it, he likes me but likes other girls and wants me to be his friend!! Don't chase a guy who doesn't want a relationship! I was unfortunate! He told me this after 2 months of contradictory behaviour!!

    • Oh I so here you! I put up with that crap for years with a guy. That is so funny, I use the words non-relationships to describe that encounter.

  • I had a guy tell me he didn't want a relationship and he didn't even want to say we are dating. I think the words mean something to different people. Heck, you have a "relationship" with everyone you meet, your boss, your mom, your friend. Ask him, what exactly that means. That's why I would. I found out that particular guy just wanted friends with benefits in that "relationship."

  • There's no hidden message in there. It's way better that he tells you how he feels so that you won't be making ideas in your head about you both.

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