Would you mind if your girlfriend was this way? How should I talk to my boyfriend about it?

Hey I should probably start off by describing myself a bit. I‘m a 19 years old girl from Europe. I‘m about 5'4" tall, have dark eyes, long darkbrown hair and pale skin. I would say I look pretty average but I always try to put effort in the way I look to look presentable for my family and boyfriend. My family raised me pretty strictly because in our family good manners and education are very important.

Now to the problem:
When it comes to emotions people describe me as cold. I would love to say that this is not true but often enough i find myself avoiding to get emotionally involved with anyone because I was disappointed so many times before. This also includes my boyfriend. I absolutely love him but I can‘t feel it. I often try to show him how much I love him but I feel like I always fail because of my general behaviour around him.

When we go for a walk for example I absolutely hate holding hands or when he puts his arm around me. I prefer linking arm or keeping them to ourselves. I also don‘t like kissing in public or any sort of PDA like cuddling when we wait for something. When I see couples that do things like that it seems repellent to me.

My boyfriend sometimes hints that he doesn‘t understand my behaviour but I don‘t know how to talk to him about it because I am scared to hurt him.
  • I wouldn‘t like my girlfriend to be like this!
    Vote A
  • I wouldn‘t mind!
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like an insecurity thing to be honest. Not trying to judge you but it seems maybe u habe a general anxiety about how others see and think about you so u choose not to show emotion for fear of it being exploited. i could be projecting. But that nf song if u want love comes to mind. If u want love and or trust u gotta give some away regardless of what people may think fuck em. Thats just my humble opinion. No risk no reward.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You can always find someone to compliment you, you don't need to change all of your behaviours and comforts to accommodate someone else when you're just who you are.


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • I'm like that too at times. I hate doing that in public, holding hands is fine but beyond I feel is meant for private moments.
    He might get used to it later. Just make an effort to be a bit more intimate when you're alone so that he knows you're attracted to him.

  • For me it's an okay behaviour in a relationship, but I guess your partner has different interests in a relationship than you. You both should talk about it.


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