How much time is too much to spend with your S.O?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. We rarely see each other because we're a bit far from each other (around 1 hour away). We were supposed to hangout on Thursday and he's sleeping over Friday until Saturday. He just cancelled on me because he said three days in a row is too much. We usually only see each other once a week for like 30 minutes if we even see each other that week, or we'll hangout on a day if we are both off.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • That depends a lot on the individual person. My girlfriend and I have gone on trips where we were together pretty close to 24 hours a day for 9 or 10 days and that wasn't too much for either of us. One of my exes had trouble even going 24 hours without needing time alone.

    Some people really like being with their partner as much as possible and others need more time to themselves. There's nothing wrong with either of those, but if you have very different ideas about how much time to spend together that can be a big problem in a relationship.

    How much time would you like to spend with him? Were you excited about the idea of three days together or kind of nervous about it?

    Have you ever taken the quiz at www.5lovelanguages.com? If not, I recommend that you do. It will tell you what things you need in a relationship. If your Quality Time score is high, but his is low that's going to be a challenge in your relationship. My girlfriend and I both have high scores and that's probably why we're perfectly happy being together almost all the time for a week or more when we get the chance to do that. My ex had a low Quality Time score and that was an incompatibility that was a challenge for us throughout the relationship and one of the reasons we split up.

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  • It's completely dependent on you and your partner. There isn't any set time limit that's too much or too little, some people have very busy schedules and make the most of the few times they can actually see each other but it's also perfectly acceptable to want to see your significant other just about every day. You gotta remember that your partner is your *significant other* and so many people are happy to spend as much time as possible with that person simply because you're interested in them and you enjoy their company. If you feel like you don't get to see each other enough then that's definitely something you should communicate to your boyfriend!

    What I find a bit odd though is that he cancelled completely because "three days is too much". Why not just only sleep over one day and still spend two days together if three seemed like too many? I'm not following that all or nothing mentality. Maybe that's an alternative you could discuss with him as well?

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Most Helpful Girls

  • It is different for everyone, maybe he does feel an immense need for space but I personally wouldn't date a person like that bc if they feel that way still after a year together then it is doubtful you will ever actually progress to something as extreme as living together, 30 min a week doesn't really sound like a relationship either. My situation is reversed actually, I have been dating my boyfriend for half a year and ever from the beginning was very surprised at the amount of time he wants to spend with me which is basically every weekend all weekend and more if possible as long as I feel comfortable with that (he lives 1.5 h away). We are thinking of moving in together.

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  • There is never too much time with my partner. I've had times where we spent 1-2 weeks together or only a few days and it was super fun and amazing. We started missing each other right after that. We never get bored of each other and always love to be together.

    I feel like if my partner told me that a certain amount of time is too much, I'd feel he just isn't interested in me anymore. Cause when you Start living together and are married, you will literally see each other every single day. If your boyfriend can't even see you for 3 days in a row, there is a BIG problem here.

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What Girls & Guys Said

148
  • I never see it as being too much. I’d spend as much time as i could with them. Maybe 3 days a week at the least

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  • Hmm... one hour away isn't that bad, you know... and you guys see only once a week for half an hour? That sounds more like lack of interest. I agree that 3 days in a row it's okay if you don't meet on a regular basis. Otherwise two or three days a week (not in a now) sounds fine.

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  • Depends on the person. If you can comfortably enjoy silence together, there’s really no limit when it’s too much. I could also be biased for the the fact that I’m extroverted and recharge in the company of others rather than in solitude.

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  • Just once a week for 30 min? Seems so little to form a good relationship.
    I think the longer u 2 spend time together, the better the bond

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  • If you start feeling exhausted in their presence it is too much. There are people who are chill and you can spend days around them without losing energy. Other people are energy suckers and should be avoided.

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  • Long as you're both happy spending that time together. 🤷 I live with mine 😂

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  • Depends on the person, and space is important but I dont see how a few days on occasion is too much. I had no alone time what so ever in my previous relationship though and it wore on me a lot.

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  • I’m single but this weekend I'm gonna spend the whole weekend with my college friend who could possibly become my boyfriend

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  • No time limit. But if your other relationships suffer then it's been too much.

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  • We see us once in the week and all weekend. Tree days in a row is perfect and we love to hang out together.

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  • it depends on the person , meaby he like he's alone time more then time with you

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  • He's not that interested in you, is he

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  • No such thing

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  • Is there such a thing ...

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  • an hour?

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  • what's a S. O?

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  • its never to much when you love someone

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  • 24/7

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  • 24/7 if she behaves to my liking!

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  • If I were you then I would must shift

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  • Honestly we sometimes go for months spending almost every minute together

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  • He's cheating on you.

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