Is It Really That Hard To Find A Date?

I don't know what the dating world is like anymore. Frankly, I'm not interested right now. Most of my attention goes to getting ready for my career. Once I've become the best damned massage therapist I can be, and start making decent money, I'll probably have a tentative interest in dating, but sex and romance have just never been huge priorities for me.

Joining GaG, I expected sexual questions to be a major focus. There's all kinds of experiences regarding how the opposite sex feels and feels about things that I am ravenous to know more about. I did not expect to see so many people on here winging about how hard it is to find a SO.

I can't stand this "Nobody settles for average guys" rhetoric I've seen on the front page twice in as many days now. I don't think there's even an inkling of truth to it. I don't like to rate people, it seems dehumanizing, but suffice to say I've known a lot of guys who are married to women most people would consider to be way out of their league, and vice versa. Not just in terms of looks, but when it comes to intellect, finances and charm.

It just seems like a big ol' pity party, and I can't stand that. I'm not super-handsome. I'm an oddball. I used to be super-skinny, but my metabolism is slowing down, and I feel fat now. My frame is still long and relatively skinny, but I've definitely got a bit of a belly; that's super-attractive, right? Just some gangley, fleshy boulder? xD I'm almost totally broke, I live at home, and I have to pinch every penny I have, because I'm constantly worried my financial aid won't be enough to get me through my degree and certification.

And... I still get interested looks, and the occasional flirting semi-regularly. Am I crazy? Is it possible I'm just incredibly, devilishly charming?

Enough listening to me talk. Is it really that hard to get a date now if you put yourself out there? Do you think their standards are too high, or they're just not meeting enough/the right people?
  • No, I have a pretty easy time finding a date. Maybe they just aren't looking in the right places, etc.
    Vote A
  • Maybe. I don't have a hard time finding a date, but I know a lot of people who do.
    Vote B
  • Maybe. I can find plenty of interested people, but few to none I acutally want to date.
    Vote C
  • Yes. I don't really know where or how to look.
    Vote D
  • Yes. I've dated a few people, but feel like I can't live up to their standards.
    Vote E
  • Yes. I crave human contact, but can't seem to find it anywhere.
    Vote F
  • Other.
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I went other on this one. I have no problem finding hookups or one night stands. Finding someone with substance, that is not only interesting but genuinely a good person is hard to do. Still haven’t found that human and I’m done looking for the time.

    • 1 d ago

      I meant for the third option to encompass that, but that's more specific, i dig it. I feel you, I've got a small sample size here, but that seems to be a lot of people's issue, if 2/5 comments is any indication.

    • Show All
    • 1 d ago

      Thank you for posting something! I really didn't want it to automatically go to the other person who basically just said "nope!" I was hoping for something at least a little more insightful to pop up. xD

      You could probably argue media actually teaches you to ignore those red flags, with how many romantic comedies start with a flawed character, and have them change along the way for the sake of love. Sometimes that's sweet to look at, but depending on the flaw it's not always realistic.

    • 1 d ago

      Very true!

  • I found it easier to find a date when I wasn’t depressed. I think that’s a big issue on the site - people blaming external stuff when really they have anxiety or depression.

    • 7 d ago

      Yeah, that can be a huge, crippling factor. But you're right, it's an internal issue, and I feel like people are so quick to point the finger at anyone else. Thanks for your answer!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't have a problem finding a date. What I have a problem with compatibility. Meeting women is not that hard but meeting one you are compatible with can seem damn near impossible. It never seemed this hard 20-30 years ago.

    • 7 d ago

      That makes sense. I could believe it's hard to find someone you really click with, but not being able to find anyone at all sounds like the person just has some things they need to work on.

      I hope this doesn't sound rude, but do you think it's because you're older now, or do you think it's more because the times are changing?

    • 7 d ago

      Times have changed. Expectations are much higher.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Nope not hard at all

  • Nah, I just create these impossible standards for myself never feeling in a place to date.

    I am very introverted but also assertive in a way and it is difficult to find someone to match that.

    • 7 d ago

      I kinda know what you mean. Up until sometime in my early twenties, I was really shy. Now I don't really like crowds or people, but I will put my foot right down when I need to. I just couldn't stand watching inaction, a big problem right in everyone's face that nobody does anything about, so I decided I was gonna start getting shit done. xD

    • 7 d ago

      Funny, that is exactly the early twenties phase I am going through right now. Just not too much of a people person either.

      Almost too tired of my own inaction to ever sit still again. And I have been trying to do everything I do with a little more spirit every day.

      Took me a long time to realise though.

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