Is it unreasonable to get mad at your boyfriend checking out other girls when he is with you?

Is it unreasonable to get mad at your boyfriend checking out other girls when he is with you?
Is it unreasonable to get mad at your boyfriend checking out other girls when he is with you?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You have every right to feel any way you authentically feel. No one has the right to tell you not to feel upset.
    But the conversation that follows those feelings depends on what you mean by "checking out other girls."
    Is he merely briefly glancing at other girls as they pass by? Then it's natural and no big deal. I'd say you could joke with him about it. But it's innocent.
    Is he ogling them, making creepy appreciation sounds, winking at them, doing full body spins to drink in the sight of their curves jiggling as they walk? Then he's a disrespectful asshole.
    Is he taking just a bit too long looking at them with a slight smile on his lips? Then he's being very callous and dumb, not taking your feelings into account. He's being moderately rude to you. You should tell him it upsets you. And he should sincerely apologise. And if he doesn't, then that tells you more about who he truly is.

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  • The girls I'm with usually point out other hot girls for me to look at - but they know that I'm not going to be hitting on those girls or pursuing them in any way, so it's no big deal. It's no different than me checking out a Ferrari that drives by, or you checking out a pair of $800 shoes or a $1500 purse. You are allowed to look all you want - pursuing is a totally different matter.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • No, it's not, especially if he's not even trying to be discreet about it. I get that my partner has eyes. Just because he's with me, it doesn't mean he can't find other people beautiful and check them out. I also check out other people when I find someone attractive, it doesn't mean I love them any less. But I would never do it super obviously in front of him. I think that's disrespectful. When you're with your partner, your focus should be on them. There's a difference between a subtle glance, and doing a full 180 turn to check out someone's ass when they walk by. The latter is def not cool. So no, I don't think it's unreasonable to be upset if your boyfriend is doing it in a very obvious way. Especially if you've already talked about it and let him know that it hurts your feelings.

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    • 6 d ago

      it doesn't mean I love my partner* any less lol

  • It is not unreasonable at all. that's how a normal girlfriend who has feelings for her boyfriend should act. And a normal boyfriend who has feelings for her girlfriend should never do something like that to hurt her. Change your boyfriend. If he can't be satisfied only wirh you then leave him and give him the chance to satisfy his needs with however he wants. He doesn't respect you anyways when he does this and you can find better

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No. I find it to be disrespectful when a guy or girl does that when they're in a relationship.

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  • I do it too so whatever

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  • It's unreasonable and unrealistic to expect him to not check them out. Having a girlfriend doesn't suddenly make him not male. It doesn't suddenly make him blind. To expect him to not look is to expect him to not be human. There are millions of years of genetic programming in play.

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    • 6 d ago

      Stop using evolution to explain why you don’t have any manners. It’s rude to stare, especially in other people’s company. Anyone can control they’re urges; you do not need to ogle every woman you see.

    • 6 d ago

      @Lilypad1223

      Stop ignoring reality. If you don't like it then you can check out.

    • 6 d ago

      It may be reality but it’s also reality that you can have self control and respect for others.

  • It’s not unreasonable to get upset. It’s hurtful and disrespectful. He should make you feel like you’re the only girl in the world. In turn you should make him feel the same way.

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  • I will say that there is a part of a man's brain that can make him check out a girl he sees, and that part of his brain is subconscious on his part, so his head turns and his eyes look sometimes before he has time to make a conscious thought about whether he should look or not.

    It's the same with men's danger sense, sometimes we look and see and react faster than the speed of thought because sometimes you don't get that much time to start responding.

    So it is my opinion that women may attribute more significance to a man's instinct to check things out than it really deserves.

    Sometimes I find myself turning to look at other things besides just a pretty girl. If I see a guy walking and catch a flash of unusual color from his feet I might turn and look at his bright, colorful socks, but that doesn't mean that I was sizing the colorful sock guy up as a potential sexual mate. I just saw something that triggered something in my hind brain to take a fucking gander.

    One of the things that can trigger that response in males is a mere hint of the female form. It's hardwired in, it does seem unfair to punish and chastise us for something we can't exactly turn off.

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  • No. I like a man that can appreciate an attractive woman.

    He wants to sleep with her,? Go for it. At the end of the day im confident in myself and know he's with me. Im not worried about her or any other woman

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    • 7 d ago

      All the girls disliking this because their insecure😂✌️💋

  • If he briefly stares I find it's ok, I would briefly look people in the street I don't want anything with just because I can't help to look beutiful people and appreciate beauty. Or if they have a weird face would catch my attention too I guess. Other different thing is if they keep staring for too long in a way it's too obvious, like the guy in the photo/meme or so, which I find disrespectful and a red flag.

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  • Hell yea. In the words of camila from bad girls club “he better not want to”. If you gonna look, dont let me find out. I’ll snatch your mf eyes 😂 now im paranoid about guys wearing shades around me
    Is it unreasonable to get mad at your boyfriend checking out other girls when he is with you?

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  • OMG... you know what... rather than cuss you out here... i will just refer you to the take... but for here... i'll just say, dont be fucking stupid. You go read that Take, and realize... we have eyes... (unless he is just ignoring you and blatantly staring) you have NO reason to get mad...

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  • Checking out another person is normal. Its how we go out about that could be awkward for a partner. I dont think its bad. As long as one does not act on it whilst in a committed relationship. We dont possess people, we have to remember this in relationships.

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  • No. If he's doing it openly, it's disrespectful. I know many men say they do it discreetly (and I still think it's disrespectful) but to openly ogle? It's an excuse many use to do it.

    It isn't unreasonable.

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  • based the pic is not unreasonable to be upset about such an obvious gawk and ogling of a person. but people's eyes are always going to give attention to things it finds beautiful that's human nature so it's unreasonable to expect that a boyfriend may never look at or admire an attractive girl

    it's just a balance. respectful glances should be expected and accepted. overt and obvious gawks should be considered disrespectful to both the partner and person the guy is looking at

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  • Not at all. I'm not gonna be fighting for any mans attention. If he doesn't only have eyes for me and disrespects me right in front of me to check out other girls I'll dump his ass right on the spot. I once went out with a man like that. I was all dressed up looking the cutest and he STILL was eyeing other women. I felt like shit afterwards. So, never gonna be with a guy like that.

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    • 7 d ago

      And for the people justifying it: Most cheating starts with the "innocent" looking.

  • Depends on the relationship. If it upsets you, then it's better he knows. Whereas in my relationship, my girlfriend will see a girl with a nice ass and point it out to me. Every relationship is different. You have to so what works for you.

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    • 7 d ago

      Those girls are my favs *thumbs up*. Good catch sir

  • If He is. doing it whike he is out with you then that is disrespectful , same. goes for a girl that does that in front of her man , it just shows you aren't really satisfied with your partner if you can disrespect them lije that

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  • Hunny, you worth so much more than that.

    You kick his ass to the curb!

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    • 7 d ago

      Honey, you sound like a preening idiot. Yes please, PLEASE "kick his ass to the curb" over something so breathtakingly inane so that she and anyone who feels this way can expose herself/themselves for the utter emotionally pathetic people they are. And that way, he can find a better girl. Great advice, champ.

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    • 7 d ago

      @Thatsamazing Actually, it was irony. And stop being a pretentious dickhead.

    • 7 d ago

      No one's being pretentious. Look up the difference between sarcasm and irony, and stop being so defensive.

  • Unreasonable, no. But it depends on how he does it. If it's just a one second peak, it might just be a reflex.
    You're not the only beautiful girl in the world, and if one passes near, he'll watch, every guy does that.
    If he openly keep checking out girls for a longer time, then you can be mad.

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  • I always set 15 minute time limit on how long I can stare at another girl before I return back to the conversation. It is gentleman way..

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  • I personally find this pretty disrespectful. If he's really invested in what he has with you, then he really shouldn't see other girls like that. Especially not in front of you.

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  • No that is not unreasonable! All guys check out other girls but for him to do it while he's worh you is flat out disrespectful. Talk to him about it dont argue with him about it and if he love you he'll fix it if not then you take it from there. You feel me?

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  • That's like saying is it unreasonable if your girlfriend is checking out other guys in front of you when you're trying to spend time with her. It's very reasonable, and I would find that very disrespectful

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  • No I don’t look even if she isn’t with me call me crazy but that’s just me.

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  • I don't get mad. I get jealous, there have been a few times he's been staring at a girl and I was like " well why dont you just whip out your dick and go fuck her already"

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  • Boys will be boys. When we see something that catches our attention, we will look. I'm sure girls do the same but refuse to admit it.

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  • It’s very reasonable cause it’s hurts knowing his looking at other girls mean while he has. In short we can say he hasn’t yet found the girl her loves his still searching. A Guy Who Loves You Will Never Give A Shit at Other Girls Who Are Passing any

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  • It depends how serious y'all are. Like if you just met each other and just started to flirt with one another, then I can understand how he wouldn't feel like he needed to "commit" quite yet. But I do understand that girls want to feel special and like they're the only one. And I have learned that from experience. Like one time I was interested in this one girl but once during that time I flirted with another girl and that first girl kind of gave me a disapproving look.

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  • It's very disrespectful but I get that men are men and sometimes they can't help it just as long as they don't do it all the time and stay loyal and faithful to me

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  • No it’s not unreasonable. Don’t let anyone tell you that your feelings are invalid. They aren’t.

    But it is unreasonable to assume that he wants to sleep with the other girl or he wants to cheat on you BECAUSE he’s checking out other girls.

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  • Yes.. I mean
    It makes me feel uncomfortable and insecure.
    It like basically telling me why do u check her out what she does have that I dont have?
    If that makes sense
    Plus he is with me and no one else

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  • Welcome to Earth... that's likely to happen with most men your entire life. Hopefully, they can show a little discretion, or even find a way to solicit your opinion in the gawk and not get upset if YOU do the same with guys.

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  • Women are hypergamous constantly putting dudes on the side for when failures occur in their relationships and monkey branching off to the have more dude. So I think it's very fair game for a guy cheeking out other girls, she's doing the same.

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  • If he is too busy checking out other girls while with you, he isn't worth it at all. I'd ditch him.

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  • Men's eyes are not fully under our control. But our reactions can be controlled. I'd understand my girl to be unhappy with me if I ''check out'' others. But she has no reasons: in my eyes she's the prettiest all around.

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  • Nah. I would check out other women out she wasn’t around lol. Honestly though, that’s so disrespectful. Be at least a little bit of a gentleman.

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  • It's as reasonable as it to get mad at a toddler for throwing a tantrum. Best you can do is show them why they need to stop doing that. They'll learn eventually, but it's a hard instinct to break.

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  • No. It would be weird if you didn't get mad about that.

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  • Yes, I looked too so is my boyfriend mad at me for looking? 🤷🏾‍♀️😂

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  • No , if i had a girlfriend or wife i wouldn't be checking out other girls
    nope it's not good to do. He should be respecting you and give his
    love to you.

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  • Unreasonable? No.
    Futile? Yes.

    The question is philosophical to a degree though. To some all futile desires are irrational and all irrational reactions are inherently unreasonable.

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  • That’s not unreasonable and the amount of guys in here justifying it is laughable. If it were reverse then they’d be losing their shit.

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  • Tell him you find it disrespectful and ask him not to

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  • No! A lustful pig will always be a lustful pig. I don't do it. I never did. Then when men abuse women, rape and use them, the same women wants to know they get treated the way they do. They have no respect for themselves, they lack boundaries. That's why I always keep telling women and other girls do not get a lucky man. If you looking at you lustfully for sex, you better stay away from him because he does that to every other woman. I dodged many bullets of unnecessary heartache, and drama when I rejected those same guy, and their so-called now ex-girlfriends about test to find out that they been cheating. Why do women tolerate this BS is unbelievable. It is your relationship, you decide how you want to be treated and then questioned whether or not if it's unreasonable. Because I promise you this. It's not easy to get me in any relationship. But it is that easy to lose me. That happens a lot because these will make themselves too available and they have nothing to offer.

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  • Not unreasonable and you should be angry because he shouldn't need to look at other women in that way.

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  • It's reasonable, people have eyes and they can see that someone is pretty, that's normal, but. Actively checking someone out when you are with your partner is terrible and disrespectful

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  • No that’s entirely reasonable. It’s unreasonable for a guy not to have a little bit of self control.

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  • It’s reasonable to get angry. He’s being disrespectful if he does it so blatantly in front of you

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  • No you have every right to go mad at him for looking at other girls it would be different if you was looking at guys he would be mad I think

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  • Yup, cause I guarantee you do it too, checking out other guys that is.. weather you admit it or not..

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  • dont get mad that won't achieve anything u gotta tell him how u feel so he doesn't do it then if he does after that u just gotta bring it up and say y did u look at another girl

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  • Why are you getting mad? He isn’t cheating on you, he is just using his eyes to look at something.

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    • 6 d ago

      It isn’t just something.

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    • 6 d ago

      Glad to hear 😁

    • 6 d ago

      by the way I would want an honest wife, so if she saw a 10/10 guy or woman it makes sense to point them out to me. It’s like spotting a celebrity. I still know she’s my wife and she is coming home with me.

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