Do I have a right to be angry with my boyfriend over this?

My boyfriend's best friend is female, which normally I don't have an issue with until something just felt off. I just met her last night and I just felt weird about it.

Being curious, I asked if he ever felt more deeply for her, to which he said 'no' but then after the conversation became heated he told me that he did have feelings for her years ago but it never turned into anything.

Should I be angry that he lied, knowing how lying makes me feel, and that he used to have romantic feelings for his "best friend", but says he no longer does and I'm the only girl he cares for romantically?
Updates:
7 d ago
Things have been resolved for the most part. I just feel uncomfortable knowing that he lied about something that happened years ago. He said he was scared I would leave him, even though those feelings are gone.

How do I not let something like that bother me?

Our relationship is great, but this just hit me hard, mostly because he lied and even denied it.

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  • I think you’re kidding yourself that you’re bothered he lied. If him having feelings for her didn’t bother you, you wouldn’t have pushed him so hard when he said he didn’t and “expressed how it made you feel” to make him change his answer.
    If you ask a question you need to be open to hearing an answer you may not like while keeping an even temper. No guy is going to be keen to be honest when he’s going to get drilled for it - lying is self preservation in these situations

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  • If you love him and want the relationship to work, just overlook his lie.

    Although he initially lied, he did tell you the truth after he lied. So he must have felt guilty for lying. He could have kept up the lie, and you'd be none the wiser. You would've had no idea he'd had feelings for her in the past. So try to focus on the truth he told you, not the initial lie

    He can't undo the lie, so you have one of two choices... let it go, or end the relationship.

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    • 7 d ago

      Great words.

    • 6 d ago

      Try to reason on the motive for his lie. He initially lied because he feared losing you. If you hold the lie against him, he'll regret telling you the truth. Don't make him regret being honest by forever holding the lie against him. His motive for lying wasn't to intentionally deceive you. His conscience obviously stopped him from keeping up the lie, which says a lot about his character. Appreciate he has a guilty conscience. Personally I'd overlook the lie, and I hate lies too.

  • Years ago... you are looking for a reason... I do the same to sabotage a potential relationship.

    Trust no one.

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    • 7 d ago

      I'm angrier about the lie than how he used to feel about her. He even offered to stop talking to her, but I don't want that because I have no need to control. I just want honesty and respect which he knew and broke because he was scared to tell me when I asked. I forgave him, but I still feel incredibly uncomfortable about the entire situation and will definitely be cautious for a while until it passes with time.

    • 7 d ago

      One of my closest friends is a woman - which I do not hide. Yet, this at times presents a problem because she is a "woman". So what, she's a woman. He was quiet because he knew it would bother you. Me, I am not because I see this as a filter, a reason to kick someone to the curb for being, "concerned". In other words, I share share knowing it will keep me single. He does not because he does not wish to be single. Simply put, he is quite not to offend you. Me, I'd tell you just to push you away.

      Apparently not telling you works at pushing away, too. Win win for me. Too bad he probably likes you a LOT where as your response would encourage me to split up. The poor sucker.

  • It's never good to lie but he probably just did not want it to be awkward between use while your with his friend a don't get why he would think you would leave him for something that happened before you was together that bit I find strange

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  • If it was me in this situation.
    He needs to earn your trust back.
    If he doesn't earn your trust back dump him.
    But it he earn your trust back, and you care, and love him then let the relationship grow.

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  • well at least he came out with it , I know you feel upset but just let this one go... ok?

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  • Maybe just break up with him. You can't seem to handle his relationship with her.

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  • Why exactly did the conversation get heated?

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    • 7 d ago

      I don't exactly remember everything. At first I found it weird that he compared me to her and wanted me to be more outgoing, like she is now, because she used to be shy.

      I was offended by a remark he made about her and asked him if he had feelings for her or thought she was "attractive or something" to which he completely ignored and tried to focus on a different part of the conversation. I asked the question on multiple occasions (he eventually denied it) and I just didn't believe it. He finally told me the truth after I expressed how it made me feel, even without an answer. I was angry because he lied about it. He says he no longer has feelings for her and had no idea how what he said hurt me and it was never meant that way.

      We dont normally argue, tonight was just awful.

    • 7 d ago

      It sounds like he probably does find her attractive

  • Typical woman drama. Put him on the defense, ask him a question you'll never respond rationally to the truth as an answer, and then piss and moan about it.

    If he did that it means you've pulled this shit already in the past and he knows you can't handle the truth.

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  • Quit being a bitch and just keep his dick happy. Then you won't have anything to worry about.

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  • It was silly that he lied about it - what is he covering up?

    However, you need to remember that it was years ago but I would go with your gut feeling. If you feel funny around her - look at how they interact with each other and how she interacts with you. Any signs of jealousy, possessiveness?

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    • 7 d ago

      He lied because he was scared I would leave him and he admitted to knowing he "f*cked up" and should have told me the first time. She has a boyfriend now, my boyfriend had feelings for her when she was single but it never would have worked out because of their friendship. I had a feeling something was amiss without any evidence so I pressed him for answers until he cracked. I saw no signs of possessiveness or jealousy. I just didn't like how close they seemed, but she helped him through a lot so I guess that much I understandable. He tells me I make him happier than anyone else ever has, so I should be content I guess.

      I'll observe how they interact more closely. I know he will drop her if it gets overwhelming, but I hope it never gets to that point. My boyfriend isn't one to cheat, so I trust him.

      I just felt horrible being lied to about something like that

    • 7 d ago

      I just HATE being lied to and he was aware of that. I hope he keeps his promise to never lie again or withhold secrets when asked. He is a good guy, but I was taken aback by it.

    • 7 d ago

      It's understandable that you hate being lied to but I guess his reasons are genuine in that he didn't want to upset you because (a) they are still best friends and (b) he once fancied her. However, they have now both moved on and if you are genuinely happy, then leave it because you don't want it to become a sticking point between you.

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