How can I stop being jealous of my boyfriend and best friend growing close?

[Arlyss]

I think you need to have a discussion. Listen to him but also make sure he listens to you as well.
There is a reason you are uncomfortable, and it seems he may be uncomfortable about your guy friend too. You both need to understand what eachother is feeling.
Also I'd suggest you express your discomfort with the whole shopping business clearly. Let him know that you want him to trust you and your opinion and that you'd like to be more involved with helping him shop. Tell him it seems unfair and hurtful that he let's the friend do this but not you. Tell him why you are uncomfortable. If he is unwilling to find compromise or examine his behavior you have a problem. You have to be willing to compromise as well, but don't let him walk over you.
Also talk to your friend about it as well. If she is truly your best friend then she loves you and should want to help you. Understand you can't command her to do anything and learn about why she is doing what she is doing. Maybe he asked her to help find clothes you would appreciate.
In short. Talk to them both. Understand and be understood. Find a compromise, or an exit if that's what is required.

[D_Bone_Steak]

If there is anything I've learned after over a decade of marriage... her good friends don't want to talk about me or bother with me.

The rest of them are either crushing and subtly trying to seduce me or they're talking shit about me and trying to get my wife to cross me... sometimes both at the same time.

[liburnia]

It's not like you're some old couple that has gone into routine and now he's building some new friendship in work environment or something. He should still put special effort into building your own relationship, and this what he's doing is totally not ok. When my husband and I first start dating he had many girl friends, but soon as I came, he stopped doing some things with them, like going shopping for him or them. He had me for that. Try talk to him and if he still refuse to listen to your side of the story, prepare on loosing both of them. That person is not your friend. I would never do this to my friend.

[BreadNbutter]

Honestly the best thing you can do is let it happen. He’s going to make friends with girls regardless if you say so or not and this fear of abandonment isn’t good for you. You need to break up with him for you because you need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else properly. If they’re flirting then it’s something you need to see clearly so don’t stand in the way of truth also be happy to receive it so you can get better friends and eventually a better man. You deserve sanity first

[glamgirl501]

They are both crossing boundaries , speak to your best friend about having boundaries with your boyfriend, not going out with him alone and not speaking to him alone unless the conversations about you.(personally those are my boundaries) and I think they are good boundaries. Your boyfriends shouldn’t make you feel guilty , speak to your boyfriend about how it makes you feel uncomfortable he’s close with your best friend and set boundaries with him. I would also limit how much I talk about my boyfriend to my best friend to try and separate the two
From eachother.

[MsShy87]

He more than likely did this because you have a guy friend who had a crush on you 5 years ago. He thought since you have a close guy friend he could have a close female friend. That's odd that he picked your best friend. I know my best friend would know better than to get close to any boyfriend and likewise, I'd never get too buddy-buddy with any of my best friend's boyfriends. I have more respect than that. They're probably already hooking up. :-/

[sockandshoes]

hm yeah i wouldn't like the fact that he is giving her special treatment like letting her pick out clothing for him but never allowing you to do it. or BOTH of them having flirted in the past. it’s not the same as your guy friend, who CURRENTLY has a girlfriend, having feelings for you that were not reciprocated 5 YEARS ago. i’d be seething. tell him what’s up and what’s going to happen or dump him if he doesn’t respect your feelings and have a stern talk with her too.

[gangster123]

That feeling of jealous says how much you love him... But come out of it and act maturely.. if you think this how you feel you must discuss this to him.. he must understand u too... Don't keep things within urself.. be open.. and make sure you have feel of trust between you both importantly...

[IMainHanzo]

Looooooooool. Ok gonna stop being a dick. Yeah pretty sure he likes your friend. Like in a way he wants to make babies with her kind of like. You pretty much set yourself up here since you decided to have a friend that liked you for years and he gets to shove that back to your face in an argument. This is a lose lose situation you are in and I wouldn't be surprised if they end up together. Best wishes fam.

[lightbulb27]

Guys can bond with your friends in the wrong way and I don't like how you worded what he said. He should say he likes your friend but respects you and work with you on that. He can't just go making friends w her and stomping all over your feelings.

I think your concerns are just although they may be rooted in the past hurt.

[Hamsteroids]

Nah Thats suspicious as hell! I would neverrrrr let my boyfriend get close to my bestie and honestly, my bestie would respect that and not even care to be his friend. Like she’ll understand that. Your “BFF” should get that too. Nah that would drive me up a fuckin wall dude

[beastreddwolf]

If your boyfriend truly loves you he wouldn't even think about doing anything wrong to you nor your relationship
And if your friend truly is your friend she wouldn't do nothing wrong to u nor ur relationship either

[Vaelthor]

What does he do with you? Does he put effort into your relationship as well as his friendship with your friend? He should really listen to your concerns in honesty, rather than just shrugging them off though. I think that is something you could work on. Explain to him what you explained here.

[the_face_of_god]

Sounds like they're into each other. If he's going to cheat he'll cheat and there's nothing you can do about that. You shouldn't have to issue an ultimatum, but you may have to make him choose between you and her. They may be better suited to one another as a couple, and if so you should probably break up.

You're not in the wrong here. He is. You have a choice. Get hurt now or later, but it's coming. Might as well have it on your terms. Who knows? He might choose you.

[blutwolfe]

you mean her boyfriend?

Seriously though the only way to fix the problem is to get rid of your childhood guy friend, literally no friends of opposite sex rule, otherwise he's exploiting it

[HeavyRoller]

Umm, trust your instincts. Your boyfriend is showing very controlling behavior by shutting you up with reminders of your old crush. If nothing were going on he would be kind and reassuring, not trying to keep you from talking. Big. Red. Flag.

[Account]

I am really sorry about that. I don't think you are being stupid. I think there is more to that and your instinct is right.

[WhiteSandBeach]

It’s normal to feel that way. I would be jealous too.

[ITGirl95]

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but he is definitely into her and they might've done something. Who knows?
The fact that he takes her side instead of yours already says a lot. Wish you all the best though.

[Anonymous]

Do you and your guy friend have boundaries? Because your boyfriend and bff clearly do NOT. :(

[GreenGold1992]

sorry if this sounds harsh, get the fuck over it and be happy that they're getting along instead of fighting over spending time with you.

now if they start to get touchy-feely with each other, then I'd be suspicious.

[GreatnessBack]

"My boyfriend told me that he wants to become friends with my best friend."

Tl;dr: Nah, he wants to bang her. I don't even need to read the rest.

[euroiko]

Something similar happened to my friend. Her boyfriend was really close friends with another girl. They got so close that he left her for his friend.

[AshleyMadison00]

Talk to her build your own relationship with her