Is my boyfriend a jerk or does he have an actual mental disorder?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. Through these years, there have been many instances of him not being empathetic but with the most recent issue, I'm wondering if something may be wrong with him. This is what happened.
My dad (who I'm not close with) was expecting a new baby with a woman he's been seeing. Yesterday, the baby was stillborn. I called my boyfriend immediately when I found out because I was personally very excited about the baby and he knew that. He ignored my calls because he was out with co-workers but once I told him it was an emergency and said "THE BABY DIED!", he answered immediately. However, this conversation went down hill very quickly.
1) when he answered, he said "what's up?" like it was a casual conversation? Who does that when he knows the baby just passed? He said he saw the text and still said "what's up"
2) He asked if I was okay and I said yea. He then said "okay I'm going to go back into the restaurant". and I said "no" and he said "but my food is coming soon". I don't understand how he could be so concerned about food when this bad news just happened. How can he be so indifferent?
3) when fighting about this later, he said that I was hurting his feelings because I insulted him by calling him selfish and un-empathetic but I feel like his feelings wouldn't/shouldn't be the priority at this time when he was indifferent about the death of the half-brother I was excited about.

All of these things, to me, seem absolutely unforgivable. And he keeps being adamant about how he's trying to get better and he's bad with feelings. I don't see how anybody is THAT BAD at feelings. So is he just a jerk or is this indicative of a bigger problem?
Is my boyfriend a jerk or does he have an actual mental disorder?
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